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Unread 12-13-2009, 01:29 AM   #1807 (permalink)
ProfessorNumber
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ugly Bastard View Post
Was it like an actual turd or just a wet fart?

SCotD: Once in sixth grade at the beginning of the school day, I shit my pants and excused myself to go to the bathroom to clean myself up. When I got to the bathroom, I was horrified to see that it wasn't actual "shit" in my pants, but instead just a brown messy liquid. I dried this as best I could with toilet paper. When I got home, I hid that pair of underwear in my closet for fear that my mother would discover it in the laundry and question why I had shit my pants. I hid that underwear for years including through a change of address before finally taking it to a dumpster a mile away from my house on an afternoon where my parents were gone.
This is one of the few things I've read on the internet that actually made me laugh out loud in real life.

On that note, I once did something similar to Orgazmo, in that I sharted while taking a piss in some bushes. It's funny how your first reaction is to completely freeze and stand there for about 5-10 seconds as though not moving will magically make it disappear. After reality set in, I tried to clean up with a handful of reed-like grass. Didn't work so well. At this point, I had no choice but to throw my boxers into the creek next to me and tell my friend that he needed to drive me home immediately. I proceeded to put my shirt on his seat, and semi-hovered over it for the entire 15 minute ride home. He, of course, found this incident hilarious. Fortunately, he's been a good enough friend to have kept it a secret (that I know of).

Smoke a cigarette and lie some more -- These conversations kill.
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