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Unread 05-06-2009, 10:36 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Living Wills of Nubblies.net Members

After reading what I posted about the lady who got the face transplant, I decided that if I ever got shot in the face and was going to end up like that I'd just rather not live. This goes along with previous thoughts of being handicapped from the waist down or worse, I'd probably be better off just being dead. Then I thought about how lazy I am and don't want to make a will. Then I thought about Terry Schiavo and how they made some big deal about her making a verbal statement to her husband to take her off life support if some shit like that ever happens and it holding up in court. Then I thought, if they make it verbal, then certainly if I post on a message board and something terribly incapacitating were to happen to me I would like to think at least one of you douchebags could point the authorities here, to read my message to future doctors and decision-makers. I don't know the legality of something like this, at all, but hey, its much easier than calling an actual lawyer.

Without further ado, I present to you my short and sweet living will.

I, Mr. Blonde, upon being victim to any sort of terribly disfiguring accident, a severe paralyzing accident (paraplegic or worse), or rendered mentally braindead or suffering mental damage and incapable of recovering to my current state, wish to be taken off life support and die.

Also, I wish for my computer to be given to Nubblies member Bald Nerd; any and all of my other possessions should pass to my parents to distribute, keep, or sell.

I approve this message

Last edited by Mr. Blonde; 05-06-2009 at 10:38 AM.
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Unread 05-06-2009, 10:45 AM   #2 (permalink)
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I approve this message
Oh good, you had it notarized.

#YOLO
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Unread 05-06-2009, 11:10 AM   #3 (permalink)
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notary public schmotary public
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Unread 05-06-2009, 11:19 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Oh fuck that. I want them to do everything possible to keep me alive so I can be as much of a burden on my loved ones as possible.
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Unread 05-06-2009, 11:27 AM   #5 (permalink)
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you forgot the *UB approves this message*
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Unread 05-06-2009, 11:41 AM   #6 (permalink)
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You need a death card.

'Hello. If you are reading this, I am probably dead. Fuck! Anyway, I was a member of an internet community located at www.nubblies.net. Since I am dead and can no longer post there, would you please ensure that they are notified of my death so that I may be mourned amongst friends? The members of the forum will likely request confirmation of my death, either through a demand for pictures or even a link to a news site. Thank you for performing this grisly task.'
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Unread 05-06-2009, 12:20 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Blonde View Post
or suffering mental damage and incapable of recovering to my current state, [i] wish to [...] die.
Quick, somebody send Blonde a goatse so we can legally kill him.
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Unread 05-06-2009, 12:23 PM   #8 (permalink)
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If any of you are ever stuck on life support, I will gladly offer my services as a plug-puller.
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Unread 05-06-2009, 12:42 PM   #9 (permalink)
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The members of the forum will likely request confirmation of my death, either through a demand for pictures or even a link to a news site.
LOL.
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Unread 05-06-2009, 03:40 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Mr. Blonde View Post

Also, I wish for my computer to be given to Nubblies member Bald Nerd; any and all of my other possessions should pass to my parents to distribute, keep, or sell.

I approve this message[/b]
As much as you dog on your parents you are still giving them your stuff? Fuck that dude. How about you send it to Orgazmo's house and he and I will mail it (broken of course) with business reply by mail envelopes to various strangers. We will, of course, document the whole thing, post pictures for epic lulz, and make a video compilation of your possessions being destroyed for posting on Youtube. Finally, we will vandalize your tombstone and mail pieces of it shaped to spell out "aspergers" to your mother, one a week for nine months to symbolize the nine months you spent in her womb developing aspergers. How's that sound?

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You often seem to think that the lowest-hanging-fruit makes you some sort of comedy genius. You're just not a good person. You're spiteful, constantly negative, and bring others down to make yourself feel better. I just don't have room for that.
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Unread 05-10-2009, 11:34 PM   #11 (permalink)
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I, bald nerd, upon being murdered or black-bagged by the government have a few simple wishes...

Please play this at my funeral:

As for my possessions, you may hoist them above an homeless shelter for eternity.
As for last wishes,
1) if at all possible with future technology, please make it rain junk food like Shaq did the hit movie "Kazaam".

2) Please bury me with my porn, all of it, printed out, burned to CD, scattered on my corpse. They say you can't take your money to the grave, but I'll be damned if I can't take my fap to the grave.

I approve this message
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Unread 03-04-2011, 10:42 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Is Cremation an Eco-Friendly Option? - Planet Green


Cremation to be replaced by eco-friendly freeze-drying of corpses | Mail Online
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