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Old 04-15-2013, 06:41 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Best Fruit

Oranges are the best fucking fruit in existence.

I realize that's a bold statement, but I've had a lot of fruit and oranges are the best. They are delicious and nutritious.

Oranges are also the most manly fruit there is. They possess a strong masculine scent. You can rip the skin off with your hands much like you're tearing the flesh from your prey, and when you bite into them, juice bursts forth like blood from said prey. It is a satisfying carnal experience to eat an orange.

Boost your privilege level by 10 and eat a fucking orange.
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Old 04-15-2013, 07:02 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Grapes produce wine. Ball game.
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Old 04-15-2013, 07:10 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I'm sorry dude. If we're talking the most manly fruit (which coincidentally is also the best fruit), there simply is no contest. I present MEAT FRUIT:




Looks like a fruit, smells like a fruit, but instead of gay juice inside it's duck liver!

http://cumbriafoodie.wordpress.com/2...urite-at-home/


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Old 04-15-2013, 08:44 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Tomatoes are best fruit. Oranges are good, but i could go the rest of my life wo ever eating one again. But I couldn't go a week wo ketchup.

#YOLO
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Old 04-16-2013, 01:01 AM   #5 (permalink)
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FC you are so snobbish. Were you wearing a sweater vest when you made that post ruining this thread?

Best fruit is avocado and would be your best bet if you were stranded on an island that produces just a single fruit.
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Old 04-16-2013, 03:16 AM   #6 (permalink)
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I didn't think banana was the best fruit, then I wrapped one in saran wrap and left it in the freezer overnight and realized that yes it was. Admins, pls clone this post in lifehacks.

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Old 04-16-2013, 08:35 AM   #7 (permalink)
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It's interesting that no one has mentioned the kiwi since it is the best tasting fruit.

The best, though? I'm not sure it's the best. It isn't the one I would want on a deserted island.
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Old 04-16-2013, 08:57 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Is anyone surprised that f3lix likes the fruit that most closely resembles a man's testicles? I'm not.
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Old 04-16-2013, 03:51 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Your testicles look like grapes?

#YOLO
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Old 04-16-2013, 04:04 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Mine are more like plums.
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Old 04-17-2013, 09:36 AM   #11 (permalink)
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tit milk
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Old 04-17-2013, 10:35 AM   #12 (permalink)
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I was going to go with Kiwi, but since it's been spotlighted, I'll go with number 2 on my list. Apples. Not just any apples, Pink Lady apples, sold at Martin's. They are crisp, and supply you with gigantic bites as you work your way around the skin.

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Old 04-17-2013, 06:37 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Tell me you wouldn't wanted to be stranded on an island with this magnificent fruit.

Creeping around as I please nonchalantly like any other Supreme Emperor might.
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Old 04-18-2013, 12:23 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Is there any fruit more amazing than an orange? The answer is undoubtably no. If you put juice from an orange (not to be confused with orange juice) on a cut, it will heal within hours. Cancer patients treated with cutting edge orange fruit therapy have shown a 99% reduction in tumor growth. Experts have reported that if the Boston bombing victims would have been wearing body armor made from orange peels, the blasts would have been completely deflected and no one would have been harmed.

These are but a few of the amazing powers of oranges.
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Old 04-18-2013, 01:31 PM   #15 (permalink)
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If we're being honest with ourselves, I think we can all agree that oranges are actually pretty terrible.

Proof, you say? Sure, I'll provide some proof.

Teeth.

Do you care for your dental health? If so, you likely floss regularly. You also probably use a fluoride mouthwash each night. But, above all of these, you almost assuredly brush your teeth like a god damned fiend.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dirty Harry
Yeah, I do all of that shit. What's the point? I still love my oranges!
I thought you'd say that. But, have you ever eaten an orange just after brushing your teeth (or vice versa)? If so, you've undoubtedly tasted the awful combination that the two form. After years of baffling scientists, a breakthrough on this was actually recently made.

By directly examining the mouth of a subject that ingested freshly-squeezed orange juice following a brushing, scientists were able to see exactly what was happening on a molecular level. Zooming in 10,000x, orange molecules were actually seen attacking the inside of the subject's mouth, literally ripping it apart. The toothpaste, true to its god-given task, defended the mouth, not much differently than the Knights of the Round Table would defend Camelot against evildoers. The result? Tons of orange molecule corpses (which, oddly, taste like shit).

In short: Loving oranges is the equivalent of hating yourself (which is likely the reason that orange-lovers have a +46% chance of being into self-harm).

Please note that none of this applies to Mandarin oranges. Those are cool.
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Old 08-01-2013, 06:14 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dirty Harry View Post
Oranges are the best fucking fruit in existence.
Not for much longer, Oranges are inbred retards and they won't be around without nanny GM to save the day.

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/07/28/sc...ts-dna.html?hp
A Race to Save the Orange by Altering Its DNA
good NYT article from the other day

"They scoured Central Florida’s half-million acres of emerald groves and sent search parties around the world to find a naturally immune tree that could serve as a new progenitor for a crop that has thrived in the state since its arrival, it is said, with Ponce de León. But such a tree did not exist. "

Edit : My picks
Citrus : Clementine
Tropical : Mango
Berry : Strawberry
Temperate fruit : Red grape

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Old 08-01-2013, 07:52 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Honestly I'm torn between oranges, strawberries, and grapes...all three of these fruits are so incredible.
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Old 08-02-2013, 03:10 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Jesus Christ

Snobby or not, Meat Fruit cannot be beaten. It's a fucking fruit made of meat. It tastes like foie gras and citrus at the same time!


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Old 08-02-2013, 01:13 PM   #19 (permalink)
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I could give a shit about how snobby it is, meat fruit isn't a real fucking fruit brah.

The best fruit has to be an actual fucking fruit brah.
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Old 08-02-2013, 01:53 PM   #20 (permalink)
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I've implemented a temporary censoring of that word. It has no place in the English language.

I'll reconsider in a few days.
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Old 08-02-2013, 02:53 PM   #21 (permalink)
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That's fuckin cold ****.
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Old 08-02-2013, 11:17 PM   #22 (permalink)
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I can't figure out what the word is.

#YOLO
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Old 08-03-2013, 08:43 AM   #23 (permalink)
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I'll give you a hint, ****. It starts with a b.
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Old 08-03-2013, 09:11 AM   #24 (permalink)
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Second hint: it's a noun, and your mother isn't one of these.
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Old 08-03-2013, 10:25 AM   #25 (permalink)
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fruit CAKE

Pro tips if you quote the censored post you'll find the answer braн
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