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-   -   Thread for BIRDS (http://www.nubblies.net/forums/jibberish/17738-thread-birds.html)

vaga1220 06-12-2011 06:06 PM

http://www.nubblies.net/forums/Photo...ta/2/11LZV.gif

thekremlin 06-21-2011 01:34 PM

http://www.nubblies.net/forums/Photo...acistBird2.jpg

vaga1220 06-27-2011 01:49 PM


thekremlin 07-30-2011 09:51 AM

Exactly two weeks from today, my bird will arrive in London. Right now-- RIGHT NOW-- she's sitting on my shoulder mumbling bird gibberish. I'm so happy.

thekremlin 08-01-2011 03:39 AM

Not quite as cool as Sgt Stubby, admittedly, but way ahead of his time:
Old Abe - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Orgazmo 09-09-2011 12:01 PM


Mr. Blonde 09-29-2011 07:23 PM

I saw a bird just like this in Beijing, I have a video of it somewhere. I would like to purchase one some day.



vaga1220 10-10-2011 10:16 PM


DJ FC 11-03-2011 04:58 AM

Tomorrow I'm going shooting. Like proper English gentlemen shooting. The kind where you wear a shirt, tie, and goofy cap while killing birds with a shotgun and break for a champagne lunch. I'm going to kill so many birds.

thekremlin 11-03-2011 05:00 AM

You're a long way from Indiana you posh twat.

Orgazmo 11-03-2011 12:21 PM

Please take tons of pictures of dead birds for us. Thanks.

Repugnant Abomination 11-03-2011 10:29 PM

That's pretty awesome, I have to say.

Mr. Blonde 11-03-2011 10:59 PM

DJ FC have you acquired a beautiful self-portrait and spurned a young actress lately?

thekremlin 11-04-2011 07:22 AM

Just recieved this email from FC, he has asked me to post it here.

"Good morning, gentlemen, it occured to me that you might be curious about my hunting weekend, so I spent a little time writing up some of my experiences, and I hope you enjoy.

We arrived at the estate last night just before sunset. Our chaffeur dropped us off right at the edge of the wood, where an employee from the hunting ground was waiting, shotguns waiting as well already loaded. My colleague, Jack, who is the nephew of Lord Carrington, gave a generous tip to our driver, who spurred the horse, and the carriage left us.

"It's a fine time to shoot," Jack said, gripping my shoulder, "and there's daylight yet."

With the sun setting behind us, we mounted our guns on our shoulders. The hunting ground employee, a young scouse named Ollie, pulled a string that opened the door of wooden cages hidden in the brush. A flash of feathers, a thunderclap, the smell of burnt gunpowder. Two quails, leaking life into the dirt.

"Brava!" Jack proclaimed, clapping my back. Ollie let loose the leashes of two dorsett hounds, who retrieved the birds. They were set at our feet, lifeless, no convulsions.

Over the next hour, we cut down nearly threescore birds, the pair of us, until the dwindling light forced us back to the lodge, our bounty in tow. As we sat at a grand mahogany table, sipping armagnac and watching the flickering fireplace, a servant brought us our dinner: a pair of the quails we had, with our grit and cunning, killed ourselves. The meal was rich and bloody, punctuated only by the sound of masculine laughter.

After dinner, and a glass of port, I retired to my chamber where I found a chambermaid, a young hungarian girl named Latia, preparing my bed.

The next morning I awoke with the sun beating through a window. I showered, mildly annoyed that the hot water ran out before I finished shaving with a straight razor. Coming out of the bathroom, I saw that Latia was still unconscious in my bed, having fainted late the night before, and I noticed that the bruises I had decorated her face with were already turning from blue to yellow.

I dressed. My wardrobe was freshly bought from William Evans, in Mayfair, and I noted with satisfaction the way my cap sat atop my head. I descended the stairs into the common room, where Jack was waiting with three gentlemen, fresh arrivals from London. I saw with horror that each of them wore a patch on the breast of their hunting jackets, and that each of them said either Oxford or Princeton. My jacket had no patch, and after introductions, one of Jack's friends, Lord Arthur Blemmingytonshire, inquired after this ommission.

"The truth of it is, old chap," I said, careful to affect the British accent I always use when in the company of gentlemen, "I spent most of my college years touring Europe, although I did attend school in the states." Seeing a flash of dissapproval, I quickly added "At Princeton, of course."

We all laughed gaily, and the houseservants brought out breakfast: wild boar sausage, and a cask of hearty red wine. "Gentleman, today we hunt!" Jack proclaimed, brazenly dabbing wine off of his chin. We set out.

One of the other hunters, Sir Frederick Englandtonshire approached me as we walked toward the wood. "I understand you hunted quail yesterday." I nodded. "Quail is a fine quarry, very cunning, and to capture it requires constitution and bravery, surely, in the hunter. Today, though, we hunt a more dangerous game. In fact, we hunt THE most dangerous game."

"Surely not--"

"Aye," Jack said, walking behind me. "Today we hunt man. There is nothing that makes you feel so empowered as to track, seek, and outsmart another human being. The men we pursue will be criminals, of course, we are not savages. But being criminals, they will be hardened, they will be brutal, and they will not hesitate, if given the chance, to turn the tables on us. We must be steely with our resolve, because today we face a most deadly task."

We arrived at the edge of the wood, where we had hunted quail the day before. Waiting for us there was our quarry: a cruel-looking man inside a wooden cage. I pulled my cap close over my forehead, and looked the knave in the eye. I saw no remorse there, for whatever his crime was, only hatred, and I knew with certainty that given the chance, this man would drag a knife across my throat.

"Pull!" Jack shouted, and the door of the cage was opened. The game was afoot! The man ran out from the cage, towards the woods, and I took careful aim, my gun on my shoulder, and with the man a full ten yards away, I fired, and shot him dead.

More later."

THEINCREDIBLEdork 11-04-2011 08:22 AM

Sir Frederick Englandtonshire

Ugly Bastard 11-04-2011 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thekremlin (Post 419751)
The next morning I awoke with the sun beating through a window. I showered, mildly annoyed that the hot water ran out before I finished shaving with a straight razor. Coming out of the bathroom, I saw that Latia was still unconscious in my bed, having fainted late the night before, and I noticed that the bruises I had decorated her face with were already turning from blue to yellow.

Peed a little on accident from laughing too hard.

That was a great read, sir.

DJ FC 11-05-2011 10:07 AM

Well my phone died so no pictures unfortunately. Final tally for myself is 12 pheasants and 1 partrige. I'm told that's a phenominal haul for somebody who had never shot a gun before. Our group of 10 killed 305 birds firing 1800 cartridges. We drank whisky, beer, wine, champagne, and most importantly of all, Sloe gin - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

This has immediately become my favorite sport/hobby.

Ugly Bastard 11-05-2011 11:30 AM

305/10 > 13

:(

DJ FC 11-05-2011 01:05 PM

You try it and tell me how you get on the first time.

Orgazmo 11-05-2011 03:36 PM

You're below average, DJ FC.

HEY EVERYBODY, DJ FC IS BELOW AVERAGE.

St. Anky 11-05-2011 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DJ FC (Post 419826)

You know sloe gin is that liqueur that sits on almost any bar's shelves that never gets used? Why? Because it's shit.

You might as well have said apple pucker.

Repugnant Abomination 11-05-2011 03:46 PM

What a thumping good read!

DJ FC 11-05-2011 03:54 PM

Maybe you haven't had the right sloe gin. The shit we drank this weekend was out of this world good. Interestingly it mixes very well with champagne too.

St. Anky 11-05-2011 03:56 PM

it's called a sloe royale without the berries.

DJ FC 11-05-2011 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Orgazmo (Post 419850)
You're below average, DJ FC.

HEY EVERYBODY, DJ FC IS BELOW AVERAGE.

How many birds did you kill this weekend?

Mr. Blonde 11-05-2011 04:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Blonde (Post 419730)
DJ FC have you acquired a beautiful self-portrait and spurned a young actress lately?

GUYS I DON'T THINK THIS REFERENCE IS GETTING ENOUGH ATTENTION

THEINCREDIBLEdork 11-05-2011 04:30 PM

Lol i bet he didnt kill any.

thekremlin 11-06-2011 04:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DJ FC (Post 419856)
How many knaves did you kill this weekend?

ftfy

SittinOnDubsWGW 11-08-2011 02:21 AM

Were there other newbies out there too?

Its just that an average of 6 shots/bird seems like a lot.

DJ FC 11-08-2011 05:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SittinOnDubsWGW (Post 420130)
Were there other newbies out there too?

Its just that an average of 6 shots/bird seems like a lot.

Absolute veterans will do about 4 shots/bird. We did some drives where the birds were really high in the air and quite far from us. Overall I got the impression that 6 shots/bird was average. The previous year the same group went out and put 10 cartridges in the air for every 1 bird.

SittinOnDubsWGW 11-08-2011 10:51 AM

Gotcha. Well done then.

Ugly Bastard 11-09-2011 01:52 PM

FC, I would be so much better at murdering birds than you it's not even funny. If bird murdering were our livelihoods, you and your family would be lower class and at the mercy of my benevolence and generosity.

THEINCREDIBLEdork 11-09-2011 02:19 PM

There is no doubt in my mind that i could kill more birds than anyone here if i put my mind to it.

DDTempest 11-09-2011 02:34 PM

Back when I was a kid I used to kill birds with rocks ... ROCKS!

Orgazmo 11-09-2011 02:45 PM

As a child, I used the put the bird bath into the garage. Once full of patrons, I would close the garage and start the car engine.

I was a regular Adolf Titler

Mr. Blonde 11-09-2011 02:53 PM

I call BS. birds rarely go into garages and they would be startled by the sound of the garage door.

YOU ARE LYIN.

DJ FC 11-09-2011 07:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ugly Bastard (Post 420332)
FC, I would be so much better at murdering birds than you it's not even funny. If bird murdering were our livelihoods, you and your family would be lower class and at the mercy of my benevolence and generosity.

I want to put this to a challenge so badly. First of all because shooting is SO MUCH FUCKING FUN. Second of all because I would love to let you back up this smack.

I'm a fucking natural with a shotgun.

Saint DH 11-09-2011 08:28 PM

I've gone 30-3 with a shotgun before. That's a kill/death ratio of 10, motherfucker.

f3lix 11-09-2011 09:58 PM

Is it like Counterstrike? I could hold my own if it were.

Ugly Bastard 11-10-2011 12:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DJ FC (Post 420365)
I want to put this to a challenge so badly. First of all because shooting is SO MUCH FUCKING FUN. Second of all because I would love to let you back up this smack.

I'm a fucking natural with a shotgun.

Oh I'll shoot birds with you, bitch. You'll be choking on the feathers from the birds I kill there will be so many of them. My only concern is you turning into a teary mess when you see what real bird hunting is like and going Cheney-style on me with that man tool.

thekremlin 11-10-2011 03:00 AM

You guys are all dicks.

DJ FC 11-10-2011 05:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ugly Bastard (Post 420397)
Oh I'll shoot birds with you, bitch. You'll be choking on the feathers from the birds I kill there will be so many of them. My only concern is you turning into a teary mess when you see what real bird hunting is like and going Cheney-style on me with that man tool.

Nothing would make me happier than to be plucking as many birds out of the sky as possible only to see you bring down more. UB if you're halfway serious take a clay pigeon shooting class or 2 and then come to England and we can try to get onto one of these:

Pheasant Shooting, Partridge Shooting, Grouse Shooting from GunsOnPegs

DDTempest 11-10-2011 08:02 AM

You guys get back to me when you want to shoot something that matters, like cats or dogs ... shooting birds just isn't even sport.

thekremlin 01-23-2012 05:08 AM


ninjaface 02-02-2012 05:59 PM


DJ FC 02-02-2012 06:18 PM

Wait a second. Parrot communication rivals human communication in terms of complexity? Why do people feel compelled to say such stupid things?

ninjaface 02-02-2012 06:45 PM

Did he say that? I didn't watch it.

THEINCREDIBLEdork 02-02-2012 07:46 PM

Damn. I tried watching long enough to hear that statement but I didn't make it very far. I made it through Meatspin longer.

Mr. Blonde 02-04-2012 12:20 PM

What should i get a bird or rat? - Yahoo! Answers

vaga1220 02-24-2012 04:20 PM

http://i.imgur.com/VtJkg.jpg


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