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Old 10-02-2011, 11:46 AM   #76 (permalink)
Don't call me Shirley
 
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Being a lawyer, you're pretty much the biggest jew on this board.
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Old 10-02-2011, 12:39 PM   #77 (permalink)
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Being a lawyer, you're pretty much the biggest jew on this board.
Nope, I'm 3rd at best. I bring gifts everywhere I go. I gave misty's bet money away. So I'm pretty much disqualified from being top Jew. Nor do I work in banking, finance, or Hollywood. I sent gaz a bottle of walker blue, offered to give a Porsche to dubs, etc. Plus I have no back, shoulder, or chest hair. I like ham.

However, I do buy generic sodas for the office. Brisket is awesome. And Natalie Portman is hot. So maybe it's closer than I thought.

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Old 10-02-2011, 01:40 PM   #78 (permalink)
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The fact that you're keeping track raises the eyebrows of those of us outside of Jewish circles of influence.

#YOLO
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Old 10-02-2011, 02:07 PM   #79 (permalink)
Jelqing for Jesus
 

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So maybe it's closer than I thought.
It's close.

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I will rape your soul in hell forever.
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Old 10-02-2011, 11:03 PM   #80 (permalink)
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Nope, I'm 3rd at best. I bring gifts everywhere I go. I gave misty's bet money away. So I'm pretty much disqualified from being top Jew. Nor do I work in banking, finance, or Hollywood. I sent gaz a bottle of walker blue, offered to give a Porsche to dubs, etc. Plus I have no back, shoulder, or chest hair. I like ham.

However, I do buy generic sodas for the office. Brisket is awesome. And Natalie Portman is hot. So maybe it's closer than I thought.
I am not going to into the full details of the generosities attestable to AP, but they were quite generous and as far from Jewlike as I've seen from any member of the board.

also

Natalie Portman IS hot ... never had brisket ... generic soda is kinda niggerly tho.

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You often seem to think that the lowest-hanging-fruit makes you some sort of comedy genius. You're just not a good person. You're spiteful, constantly negative, and bring others down to make yourself feel better. I just don't have room for that.
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Old 10-03-2011, 01:14 AM   #81 (permalink)
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Does he still live in his parents house?
I believe he lives in the house of the lord.
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Old 10-03-2011, 02:58 AM   #82 (permalink)
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A couple things about this.

Jewish men aren't attracted to Jewish women. Jewish women remind jewish men of their jewish grandmothers who are, as a rule, terrible people. Jewish men are attracted to shiksa, or gentile women. (Similar to how black men love them some white women.) It's another case of self-loathing in the psyche of the chosen people. Ironically, every Jewish man knows he will end up marrying (and then hating) a Jewish woman.

Second, but mostly tangential, there is a Hebrew word gimilut chasadim which translates roughly to "acts of love and kindness" but pretty much means charity, and falls under the category of mitzvim. There are three levels of gimilut chasadim. The lowest is the case where the donor and donee (donee?) are known to each other. The middle is the case of the anonymous benefactor who knows who he is helping. The highest level is where one donates without knowing who he donates to, and does not recieve recognition.

(I'm not trying to take away from AP here, BTW, cause it sounds like he has really helped some brothers out. But I get to drop my Hebrew school knowledge like once a decade.)
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Old 10-03-2011, 03:06 AM   #83 (permalink)
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How delightfully informative!
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Old 10-04-2011, 11:02 AM   #84 (permalink)
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I believe he lives in the house of the lord.

He bought his own house, which he rarely lives in. He lives in huts in Guatamala now or something of the sort.

Nubblies: If we put up with Felix, we will put up with you too.
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