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Old 11-04-2005, 03:52 PM   #1 (permalink)
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I'm just posting what he wrote.....

Brently says...

so every morning before work, i go for a 20-30 walk to wake me up and give me time to think. well this morning, i did the same, though, with a little twist. i had to get a new license at the dmv, which costs 25 bucks, so on my walk, i went to 7-11 to get cash and breakfast. while there, i got my money and i bought a packaged muffing. then, i headed back home on foot.

i was about a quarter mile away from my house when i almost stepped in some very gross dog shit on the sidewalk. it was the kind that you could tell that the dog was very sick. i didnt think much about it. then, out of nowhere, i heard a dog barking and saw the mangy thing running at me from out of an alley. it was a german shepherd mut from what i could tell. it was a full grown one, and from the look in its eyes, it hadnt eaten in days, so was on the menu.

i took off as fast as i could, but as i was running, i realized that there was no way that i could outrun the dog. plus, i was baiting the dog as prey by letting him chase. immmediately, i grabbed a trash can that was out on the street (friday is trash day in my neighborhood). i placed it between him and me and started to yell at him. i screamed "get away" and "help". the dog was jumping all over my trash can shield and trying to get at me.

this went on for like 30 seconds until i realized that i had that stupid fucking muffin in my hooded sweatshirts pocket, so with one hand on the garbage, i took out the muffin, unwrapped it (at this point i had to use both hands and the dog was chasing me around the can), and threw it at him. he took the bait and started eating. i ran off. about a block down the street (now about a quarter mile from my house), i see that the dog is now trying to catch up to me. i realized that i was now in for a fight and i was going to have to go the hospital for rabies shots. so i kept running, but i was looking back to see how much distance he was closin when all of a sudden my roomate drove by and stopped. he stopped cause he saw me spriniting like a mad man. he was on his way to work and said "whats wrong". i fucking jumped in his car and he drove me back home.

when i was in the car, i literally started laughing immediately at how stupid that whole thing was. if anyone saw the incident, it must have looked like some shit out of a bad cartoon with a criminal baiting a guard dog with sausages. i told my roomate the story when i stopped laughing, and he started cracking up too.

i am unscathed cause of my shitty eating habits and bad tom and jerry cartoons.

btw, i am now going to buy pepperspray and carry it on my morning stroll.

Magiclit says: Bwahahahahaha @ Brently

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Old 11-04-2005, 03:58 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Great story, but where the hell is bloodyfart?
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Old 11-04-2005, 03:59 PM   #3 (permalink)
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he forgot his password like a dumbass, heh.

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Old 11-04-2005, 04:00 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I'm sure Orgazmo could fix that.
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Old 11-04-2005, 04:06 PM   #5 (permalink)
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thats what i said.....

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Old 11-04-2005, 04:06 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by bloodyfart:
i screamed ..."help"
[img]smile.gif[/img]

What happened to that jiu-jitsu badass mentality you brought to these forums? We soften you up?

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Old 11-04-2005, 04:07 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Orgazmo's out of town for a few hours inspecting his car. His car is at a body repair shop. Its there because I totaled it for him a few nights ago. Oops!

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Old 11-04-2005, 04:14 PM   #8 (permalink)
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You are such a good friend dude.

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Old 11-04-2005, 05:02 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Do you have his email or anything...I'll send it to him.
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Old 11-04-2005, 06:48 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Brent is one of the most sensitive people I know. The badass mentality was hilarious to everyone who knows him.

Creeping around as I please nonchalantly like any other Supreme Emperor might.
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Old 11-04-2005, 07:34 PM   #11 (permalink)
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That dog would be disgusted after biting his vegan ass..Brently probably tastes like broccoli or some green shit like that.

BTW Brent, if you buy pepper spray, I suggest you breath a little bit of it a few times so you build a little tolerance against it and know what to expect if it's blown back against you...I had to do that in Rio...the first times sucked, but by the third or fourth time it wasn't so bad (of course, it wasn't sprayed directly against me).
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Old 11-04-2005, 08:04 PM   #12 (permalink)
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I have to ask him how he would like his password, so I'll let you know in PM Gaz

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Old 11-04-2005, 10:02 PM   #13 (permalink)
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bloodyfart is a sub prime poster.

Creeping around as I please nonchalantly like any other Supreme Emperor might.
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Old 11-04-2005, 11:23 PM   #14 (permalink)
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i doubt bloodyfart would really eat from a 7-11. and there were too many spelling errors....
i'm doubtfull of the legitimacy of this story....

i'm the sinful stench that wafts through nostrils of the righteous....
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Old 11-07-2005, 04:33 AM   #15 (permalink)
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this really happened to me.
i do eat from 7-11's if i am too lazy to go somewhere else

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Old 11-07-2005, 05:55 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Funny experience, but still kinda scary. Had you got your nuts chewed off I imagine the tone of the story would have been a little different.

I just read in the news 3 pit bulls attacked some kids, their owner and some neighbors.
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Old 11-07-2005, 06:10 AM   #17 (permalink)
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yeah, i agree that the only reason it was funny is cause i got away-

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Old 11-07-2005, 08:01 AM   #18 (permalink)
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im a little confused about this jiu-jitsu shit as well, if you can't go jackie chan on a dog.....

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Old 11-07-2005, 08:26 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by blackbirdsjoy:
im a little confused about this jiu-jitsu shit as well, if you can't go jackie chan on a dog.....
Blame Eddie Bravo for that.
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Old 11-07-2005, 08:38 AM   #20 (permalink)
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the reason i didnt go toe up with the dog is cause it was mangy as fuck. yes, i would have won the fight, but i would have had to go to the hospital afterwards to get stitches, rabies shots, and tetnus shots.
the way i did it, i got away unscathed

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Old 11-07-2005, 09:33 AM   #21 (permalink)
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maybe the dog wanted to show you its appreciation and do a lil' humpin' to spread the love....

i'm reporting this to PETA on clause 112.950.851. Clause 31 for willfully and with the use of nearby trashcan lids and/or use of trash acting as a barrier between your leg and said dawg, for denying the dawg to hump your leg.

po' lassie

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Old 11-07-2005, 09:50 AM   #22 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by blackbirdsjoy:
im a little confused about this jiu-jitsu shit as well, if you can't go jackie chan on a dog.....
Jiu Jitsu is ground fighting, think submission wrestling.
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