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Unread 06-07-2010, 05:40 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Arrow You can be Saved!

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
John 3:16

If you confess with your lips that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.
Romans 10:9

Everyone who calls upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Romans 10:13
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Unread 06-07-2010, 06:36 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I'm surprised it's taken this long for Jesus Christ to join.

We've had Satan and God for awhile now.
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Unread 06-07-2010, 07:27 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Orgazmo View Post
I'm surprised it's taken this long for Jesus Christ to join.

We've had Satan and God for awhile now.
And Santa Claus.

Quote:
You often seem to think that the lowest-hanging-fruit makes you some sort of comedy genius. You're just not a good person. You're spiteful, constantly negative, and bring others down to make yourself feel better. I just don't have room for that.
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Unread 06-07-2010, 07:44 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Same thing.

#YOLO
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Unread 06-08-2010, 06:46 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Save me Jesus.


The basis of our governments being the opinion of the people, the very first object should be to keep that right; and were it left to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers, or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter. But I should mean that every man should receive those papers and be capable of reading them.
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Unread 06-08-2010, 10:57 AM   #6 (permalink)
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I too am interested in the saving package you're offering. More details please.
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Unread 06-09-2010, 10:09 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus Christ View Post
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
John 3:16

If you confess with your lips that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.
Romans 10:9

Everyone who calls upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Romans 10:13
Jesus Chrystler is still a better poster.

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I will rape your soul in hell forever.
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Unread 06-12-2010, 12:19 AM   #8 (permalink)
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i know lots of jesus quotes.

give me a probloem/situtuatoihn you are havign and i will provide you with scripture that applies to your situation.

taking requests

#YOLO
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Unread 06-12-2010, 06:30 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Mistoffelees View Post
i know lots of jesus quotes.

give me a probloem/situtuatoihn you are havign and i will provide you with scripture that applies to your situation.

taking requests
I can't think of what Jesus would say about breakfast cereals.

Quote:
You often seem to think that the lowest-hanging-fruit makes you some sort of comedy genius. You're just not a good person. You're spiteful, constantly negative, and bring others down to make yourself feel better. I just don't have room for that.
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Unread 06-17-2010, 12:19 AM   #10 (permalink)
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To all that seek to be saved...

For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 6:23

For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved."
Romans 10:13
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Unread 06-17-2010, 12:35 AM   #11 (permalink)
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"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven."
Matthew 7:21

So you're telling me I have to call out your name AND do the will of our Father?

There's life and then there is Cubs baseball, it's a chore to seperate the two.
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Unread 06-17-2010, 03:33 PM   #12 (permalink)
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I don't want to be saved. Sounds boring.
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Unread 06-17-2010, 05:36 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BigDongedHoe View Post
"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven."
Matthew 7:21

So you're telling me I have to call out your name AND do the will of our Father?
You are confused, my child.

For Moses writes about the righteousness that is based on the law, that the person who does the commandments shall live by them. But the righteousness based on faith says, "Do not say in your heart, 'Who will ascend into heaven?'" (that is, to bring Christ down) or "'Who will descend into the abyss?'" (that is, to bring Christ up from the dead). But what does it say? "The word is near you, in your mouth and in your heart" (that is, the word of faith that we proclaim); because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved. For the Scripture says, "Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame." For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is Lord of all, bestowing his riches on all who call on him. For "everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved."
Romans 10: 5-13
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Unread 06-17-2010, 06:43 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Tits or get the fuck out.

Putting the sensual in non-consensual.
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