The "Making the general public less fucking retarded" thread - Nubblies.net Forums

Mr. Blonde · 09-07-2005, 11:21 PM

This thread will be made where you post your personal and professional information on issues that the general public does not understand, or takes for granted, but that you have dealt with and understand fully, and want to help everybody out.

My insight for the day:

Fettuccine Alfredo is not a type of noodle. Fettuccine is a noodle. Alfredo is a type of sauce. When put together, they make Fettuccini Alfredo. So when you're at an italian restaurant, try not to sound like an idiot when you say "Yeah, i'd like fettuccine alfredo with...marinara sauce."

That is all.

[ September 07, 2005, 09:22 PM: Message edited by: Mr. Blonde ]

theMerciless1 · 09-08-2005, 12:03 AM

blonde, this is not a problem in my area.

now, my contribution:
piss on it first. that is all.

09-08-2005, 01:46 AM

Money, Income, Cash, etc these are all very specific things, please try not to use them incorrectly.

Money is an economic term meaning the medium with which we exchange and store value.

Income is earnings... whether they be recieved or not.

Cash is hard cash.

theMerciless1 · 09-08-2005, 12:02 PM

how about this one.... when you go to a bar and you are ordering for more than one person, dont tell the bartender one drink at a time and have your money out when the drinks are given to you.

Ugly Bastard · 09-08-2005, 01:35 PM

One thing that always bugged me from my Subway days: If I'm cutting your bread while you're screaming all of the different types of veggies and drinks and chips that you want, there's no way I'm even going to attempt to remember any of it. Shut your fucking mouth for 30 seconds while I put some meat and ball sweat on this sandwich, then you can tell me what vegetables you want on it.

edit: I like this thread.

-Ugly Bastard

[ September 08, 2005, 11:36 AM: Message edited by: Ugly Bastard ]

Ugly Bastard · 09-08-2005, 01:44 PM

Here is something that is possibly my biggest pet peeve when it comes to nimwit general public Americans.

Nothing drives me insane more than some jackass who slows down to a fucking creep in front of me so he can turn left, all the while the left lane is totally vacant.

Here is what I'm talking about:

Listen. If you're on a highway, and you have to turn left, and there is a car behind you, and the left lane is empty as far as the eye can see, move over to that god damn lane to make your turn, so I don't have to slow down to 3 mph along with you.

When people in the general public do shit like this, it honestly makes me want to pull them out of their vehicles, drag them to the ditch on the side of the road, and just shoot them. People who make moves like this shouldn't be allowed to live. I'm completely serious about this too.

My message for the dumbass general public of America: When you're on the highway, think of other drivers from time to time, you ignorant jackasses.

-Ugly Bastard

[ September 08, 2005, 11:48 AM: Message edited by: Ugly Bastard ]

bloodyfart · 09-08-2005, 01:57 PM

the military is full of morons. i deal with contracting officers all day. grade a morons.

Ugly Bastard · 09-08-2005, 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by bloodyfart:
the military is full of morons.

I've noticed that myself. It's like all the people too dumb to get into college just join the military and make a career out of it.

-Ugly Bastard

ninjaface · 09-08-2005, 02:15 PM

How about some consumer etiquette?

When you are in a store, say... Sam's Club and have a question about something, it is never a good idea to yell or whistle from a distance to get the attention of an associate. Another mistake is to speak to an associate through an aisle(when the aisle is between the customer and associate). Bring your dumb, lazy ass up to the associate and politely ask for assistance. And if for some reason what you want is not available, do not say "But you used to have it." Saying that shows the associate that you are stupid. Yes they used to have it. Keywords: used to

And if the associate somehow makes a mistake, give them a god damned break. They have to deal with assholes like you all day long every single day. It is never acceptable to yell or curse at an associate. You do not have that right.

tonguegina · 09-08-2005, 03:29 PM

When you order a drink "on the rocks" then there is more liquor in it. We are not charging you a dollar for ice, it's for the excess liquor.

Mr. Blonde · 09-08-2005, 04:16 PM

where do you work tongue?

Ironic Mustache · 09-08-2005, 04:32 PM

If you have shitty credit an adjustable rate mortgage is a great fucking idea, no matter what your friend or your wife told you. Listen to the mother fucker who does this for a living (me) says, he's smarter than you.

Repugnant Abomination · 09-08-2005, 05:31 PM

When you're a abomination don't go around looking for everyones approval and trying to please them. You're an abomination! Start acting like one.

Ironic Mustache · 09-08-2005, 06:03 PM

This forum could use a little more ironic mustache.

tonguegina · 09-08-2005, 06:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Mr. Blonde:
where do you work tongue?

No where at the moment. I waited tables in Warsaw over the summer. Are you still at the Olive Garden?

Mr. Blonde · 09-08-2005, 06:23 PM

that i am. i hate it. Muncie is getting a Cheeseburger in Paradise soon, it's going in where Chi Chi's used to be i think, and one of the managers is an ex-Olive garden manager, and unofficialy said he'd hire anybody from the olive garden. so hopefully i'll be working there soon

tonguegina · 09-08-2005, 08:03 PM

Awesome. You'll need to let me know how that works out for you. I may be needing to get a job towards the end of the semester.

AcTivE · 09-08-2005, 08:34 PM

Crack is not some dirty impure crazy cocaine. It is a smokable form of cocaine that burns at the temperature of a flame, so it can be smoked.

Most black people will become addicted to crack if you let them smoke it a few times. Make your prices low to start, then raise them.

Beebs · 09-08-2005, 08:53 PM

In addition to Active, you cannot smoke cocaine hcl (powdered coke) and get high, the chemical is destroyed before the point at which it burns.

underwater · 09-08-2005, 08:54 PM

First of all, I fucking hate it when people come to the Customer Service desk to check out, when the girl at the register next to me is BLATANTLY not helping anyone. I don't even have one of those damn register lights above me... That's why that big banner over my head says, "CUSTOMER SERVICE".

Second of all, if your damn whatever doesn't have a barcode or item number on it, don't have a hissy fit and keep telling me that "The price is $5.99!!" I can't look it up that way, that has NOTHING to do with how I get it on my screen.. Bastards.

Also, I'm sure a lot of people can relate to this one... Don't fucking take your anger out on me. It's not my fault we're out of whatever, it's not my fault that some guy in the back was crappy with you, and it's certainly not my fault when you're just having a bad day and you're out to get the world. Shut the fuck up and get out.

Oh, and one more thing.... Lowe's closes at nine o'clock every day except Sunday, when we close at six. It's okay if you're still there by closing time, but once we've made the page to let you know that we're closed... You better move your fucking ass. I had customers checking out for FORTY MINUTES after we closed the other night. There's nothing more irritating than that.

I feel better now.

Mr. Blonde · 09-09-2005, 12:13 AM

Ok, here's a tip for those of you who enjoy going out to eat at restaurants with 5+ friends.

Odds are, your server FUCKING HATES YOUR GUTS. You're college kids, so most likely you're going to be rude, and even if you're not, they already know you're going to eat and drink a shitload (lots of refills, especially when fucking salad and breadsticks are involved), and y ou're going to go as cheap as you can. Also, because your'e cheap college students, you probably won't tip that well. it's a few extra bucks per person will make up for you being a fucking idiot at the restaurant.

tonguegina · 09-09-2005, 12:45 AM

An average tip is between 15 and 20%. Don't put down two dollars on a $20 bill and think you're God. With one more dollar you will make a server's night. Minimum wage for servers is $2.13 an hour. It's all about tips. If a server waits on 30 people and each of them leaves an extra dollar, that's a tank of gas.

Mr. Blonde · 09-09-2005, 12:56 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by tonguegina:
Minimum wage for servers is $2.13 an hour. It's all about tips.

Damn fucking right. I think there's people out there who think we get at least minimum, maybe more, and the tips are just "extra". Plus the job is a hell of a lot stressful than most other fucking jobs at our age, i think i'm going to have an ulcer from being a server.

theMerciless1 · 09-09-2005, 01:10 AM

being a server is one of the most underrated jobs on earth as far as skill is concerned.
being a mortgage broker is one of the most overrated jobs on earth, as far as skill is involved.
you have no business trying to get a mortgage if you take an ARM and you arent gonna flip the property in a couple years.

Repugnant Abomination · 09-09-2005, 01:40 AM

Why should the consumer have to pay the employees tips out of their own pockets? They already pay for the food, and tip for the service, but shit what more do you want? It's the employers job to pay their goddamn staff, not the consumer. Instead of bitching for more tips I feel waiters should like..form a union, and demand better hourly wages. It's bullshit. The employee and the customer end up suffering while the owner of the store thrives.

09-07-2005, 11:21 PM	#1 (permalink)
Mr. Blonde Spice Master Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 17,969 Internets: 278288	This thread will be made where you post your personal and professional information on issues that the general public does not understand, or takes for granted, but that you have dealt with and understand fully, and want to help everybody out. My insight for the day: Fettuccine Alfredo is not a type of noodle. Fettuccine is a noodle. Alfredo is a type of sauce. When put together, they make Fettuccini Alfredo. So when you're at an italian restaurant, try not to sound like an idiot when you say "Yeah, i'd like fettuccine alfredo with...marinara sauce." That is all. [ September 07, 2005, 09:22 PM: Message edited by: Mr. Blonde ]
	Psychedelics are illegal not because a loving government is concerned that you may jump out of a third story window. Psychedelics are illegal because they dissolve opinion structures and culturally laid down models of behavior and information processing. ― Terence McKenna

09-08-2005, 12:03 AM	#2 (permalink)
theMerciless1 Senior Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: ming\'s palace Posts: 1,495 Internets: 412	blonde, this is not a problem in my area. now, my contribution: piss on it first. that is all.
	i who have nothing but the comfort of my sins

09-08-2005, 01:46 AM	#3 (permalink)
DJ FC Guest Posts: n/a	Money, Income, Cash, etc these are all very specific things, please try not to use them incorrectly. Money is an economic term meaning the medium with which we exchange and store value. Income is earnings... whether they be recieved or not. Cash is hard cash.
DJ FC Guest Posts: n/a

09-08-2005, 12:02 PM	#4 (permalink)
theMerciless1 Senior Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: ming\'s palace Posts: 1,495 Internets: 412	how about this one.... when you go to a bar and you are ordering for more than one person, dont tell the bartender one drink at a time and have your money out when the drinks are given to you.
	i who have nothing but the comfort of my sins

09-08-2005, 01:57 PM	#7 (permalink)
bloodyfart Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: side control Posts: 2,044 Internets: 203	the military is full of morons. i deal with contracting officers all day. grade a morons.
	<b>We're here, and we're queer, so get used to it</b>

09-08-2005, 01:35 PM	#5 (permalink)
Ugly Bastard Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: U.S.A. Posts: 13,643 Internets: 247330	One thing that always bugged me from my Subway days: If I'm cutting your bread while you're screaming all of the different types of veggies and drinks and chips that you want, there's no way I'm even going to attempt to remember any of it. Shut your fucking mouth for 30 seconds while I put some meat and ball sweat on this sandwich, then you can tell me what vegetables you want on it. edit: I like this thread. -Ugly Bastard [ September 08, 2005, 11:36 AM: Message edited by: Ugly Bastard ]

09-08-2005, 01:44 PM	#6 (permalink)
Ugly Bastard Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: U.S.A. Posts: 13,643 Internets: 247330	Here is something that is possibly my biggest pet peeve when it comes to nimwit general public Americans. Nothing drives me insane more than some jackass who slows down to a fucking creep in front of me so he can turn left, all the while the left lane is totally* vacant. Here is what I'm talking about: Listen. If you're on a highway, and you have to turn left, and there is a car behind you, and the left lane is empty as far as the eye can see, move over to that god damn lane to make your turn, so I don't have to slow down to 3 mph along with you.* When people in the general public do shit like this, it honestly makes me want to pull them out of their vehicles, drag them to the ditch on the side of the road, and just shoot them. People who make moves like this shouldn't be allowed to live. I'm completely serious about this too. My message for the dumbass general public of America: When you're on the highway, think of other drivers from time to time, you ignorant jackasses. -Ugly Bastard [ September 08, 2005, 11:48 AM: Message edited by: Ugly Bastard ]

09-08-2005, 02:15 PM	#9 (permalink)
ninjaface Level 20 Holothetan Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Space Posts: 5,245 Internets: 210144	How about some consumer etiquette? When you are in a store, say... Sam's Club and have a question about something, it is never a good idea to yell or whistle from a distance to get the attention of an associate. Another mistake is to speak to an associate through an aisle(when the aisle is between the customer and associate). Bring your dumb, lazy ass up to the associate and politely ask for assistance. And if for some reason what you want is not available, do not say "But you used to have it." Saying that shows the associate that you are stupid. Yes they used to have it. Keywords: used to And if the associate somehow makes a mistake, give them a god damned break. They have to deal with assholes like you all day long every single day. It is never acceptable to yell or curse at an associate. You do not have that right.

09-08-2005, 03:29 PM	#10 (permalink)
tonguegina I like dirt. Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Indianapolis Posts: 2,861 Internets: 2790	When you order a drink "on the rocks" then there is more liquor in it. We are not charging you a dollar for ice, it's for the excess liquor.

09-08-2005, 04:16 PM	#11 (permalink)
Mr. Blonde Spice Master Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 17,969 Internets: 278288	where do you work tongue?
	Psychedelics are illegal not because a loving government is concerned that you may jump out of a third story window. Psychedelics are illegal because they dissolve opinion structures and culturally laid down models of behavior and information processing. ― Terence McKenna

09-08-2005, 04:32 PM	#12 (permalink)
Ironic Mustache G'd up from the feet up. Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Cali Posts: 7,146 Supreme Emperor of the Jiu Jitsu Shit Forum?: Yes Internets: 114735	If you have shitty credit an adjustable rate mortgage is a great fucking idea, no matter what your friend or your wife told you. Listen to the mother fucker who does this for a living (me) says, he's smarter than you.
	Creeping around as I please nonchalantly like any other Supreme Emperor might.

09-08-2005, 05:31 PM	#13 (permalink)
Repugnant Abomination Almost there... Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 5,979 Internets: 161638	When you're a abomination don't go around looking for everyones approval and trying to please them. You're an abomination! Start acting like one.

09-08-2005, 06:03 PM	#14 (permalink)
Ironic Mustache G'd up from the feet up. Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Cali Posts: 7,146 Supreme Emperor of the Jiu Jitsu Shit Forum?: Yes Internets: 114735	This forum could use a little more ironic mustache.
	Creeping around as I please nonchalantly like any other Supreme Emperor might.

09-08-2005, 06:23 PM	#16 (permalink)
Mr. Blonde Spice Master Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 17,969 Internets: 278288	that i am. i hate it. Muncie is getting a Cheeseburger in Paradise soon, it's going in where Chi Chi's used to be i think, and one of the managers is an ex-Olive garden manager, and unofficialy said he'd hire anybody from the olive garden. so hopefully i'll be working there soon
	Psychedelics are illegal not because a loving government is concerned that you may jump out of a third story window. Psychedelics are illegal because they dissolve opinion structures and culturally laid down models of behavior and information processing. ― Terence McKenna

09-08-2005, 08:03 PM	#17 (permalink)
tonguegina I like dirt. Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Indianapolis Posts: 2,861 Internets: 2790	Awesome. You'll need to let me know how that works out for you. I may be needing to get a job towards the end of the semester.

09-08-2005, 08:34 PM	#18 (permalink)
AcTivE 1 thing leads to another. Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 2,012 Internets: -2654	Crack is not some dirty impure crazy cocaine. It is a smokable form of cocaine that burns at the temperature of a flame, so it can be smoked. Most black people will become addicted to crack if you let them smoke it a few times. Make your prices low to start, then raise them.
	___________________ 3:o) horned creatures...wat wat ___________________

09-08-2005, 08:53 PM	#19 (permalink)
Beebs Poor Sport Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Indianapolis / Middlebury / Long Lake Posts: 5,306 Internets: 127341	In addition to Active, you cannot smoke cocaine hcl (powdered coke) and get high, the chemical is destroyed before the point at which it burns.

09-08-2005, 08:54 PM	#20 (permalink)
underwater Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: indiana Posts: 1,453 Internets: 10	First of all, I fucking hate it when people come to the Customer Service desk to check out, when the girl at the register next to me is BLATANTLY not helping anyone. I don't even have one of those damn register lights above me... That's why that big banner over my head says, "CUSTOMER SERVICE". Second of all, if your damn whatever doesn't have a barcode or item number on it, don't have a hissy fit and keep telling me that "The price is $5.99!!" I can't look it up that way, that has NOTHING to do with how I get it on my screen.. Bastards. Also, I'm sure a lot of people can relate to this one... Don't fucking take your anger out on me. It's not my fault we're out of whatever, it's not my fault that some guy in the back was crappy with you, and it's certainly not my fault when you're just having a bad day and you're out to get the world. Shut the fuck up and get out. Oh, and one more thing.... Lowe's closes at nine o'clock every day except Sunday, when we close at six. It's okay if you're still there by closing time, but once we've made the page to let you know that we're closed... You better move your fucking ass. I had customers checking out for FORTY MINUTES after we closed the other night. There's nothing more irritating than that. I feel better now.
	We can dance if we want to, we can leave your friends behind, because your friends don't dance and if they don't dance then they're no friends of mine.

09-09-2005, 12:13 AM	#21 (permalink)
Mr. Blonde Spice Master Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 17,969 Internets: 278288	Ok, here's a tip for those of you who enjoy going out to eat at restaurants with 5+ friends. Odds are, your server FUCKING HATES YOUR GUTS. You're college kids, so most likely you're going to be rude, and even if you're not, they already know you're going to eat and drink a shitload (lots of refills, especially when fucking salad and breadsticks are involved), and y ou're going to go as cheap as you can. Also, because your'e cheap college students, you probably won't tip that well. it's a few extra bucks per person will make up for you being a fucking idiot at the restaurant.
	Psychedelics are illegal not because a loving government is concerned that you may jump out of a third story window. Psychedelics are illegal because they dissolve opinion structures and culturally laid down models of behavior and information processing. ― Terence McKenna

09-09-2005, 12:45 AM	#22 (permalink)
tonguegina I like dirt. Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Indianapolis Posts: 2,861 Internets: 2790	An average tip is between 15 and 20%. Don't put down two dollars on a $20 bill and think you're God. With one more dollar you will make a server's night. Minimum wage for servers is $2.13 an hour. It's all about tips. If a server waits on 30 people and each of them leaves an extra dollar, that's a tank of gas.

09-09-2005, 01:10 AM	#24 (permalink)
theMerciless1 Senior Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: ming\'s palace Posts: 1,495 Internets: 412	being a server is one of the most underrated jobs on earth as far as skill is concerned. being a mortgage broker is one of the most overrated jobs on earth, as far as skill is involved. you have no business trying to get a mortgage if you take an ARM and you arent gonna flip the property in a couple years.
	i who have nothing but the comfort of my sins

09-09-2005, 01:40 AM	#25 (permalink)
Repugnant Abomination Almost there... Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 5,979 Internets: 161638	Why should the consumer have to pay the employees tips out of their own pockets? They already pay for the food, and tip for the service, but shit what more do you want? It's the employers job to pay their goddamn staff, not the consumer. Instead of bitching for more tips I feel waiters should like..form a union, and demand better hourly wages. It's bullshit. The employee and the customer end up suffering while the owner of the store thrives.