I needed something to cut a piece of cardboard... - Nubblies.net Forums

Pliedes · 02-18-2005, 05:20 PM

This morning I was sitting in my comfy ruby-orange armchair and thinking about how I needed to build a shelf. The shelf I had in mind though was to hold my guitar picks so they'd always be in easy reach. It would be small in size, but functional as hell. So being the industrious fellow I am, I set my mind to creating this shelf of not so large proportions.
Sitting in my chair, I already had a piece of cardboard in reach to the right rear. Now having the cardboard in hand, I needed something to cut it with. Herein lies the nature of my post.

Now when I'm sitting in my chair, I never want to get up, it's just that comfortable. And when my thoughts turned to method which would be the most effective way of cutting the cardboard into appropriately sized pieces. So my options were immediately constrained to cutting utensils in the near vicinity of the designated sitting area (yes, i have a sitting area, fuck you).

I didn't have to look far at all. In fact, I didn't even have to look. I already had a pair of sissors in plain sight on the shelf to my left, but at this point I had already resolved to find all cuttery I could get my hands on (without getting out of my chair, of course). I was in an increasing state of disbelief as I began finding cutting utensils all around me. I've never really noticed it until now, but I have a ridiculus amount of this kind of shit within an arm's reach.
As I began to gather the objects to produce photographic evidence of the cuttery, I began to find things I forgot I even had. Why wasn't this obvious to me before? Jesus christ, I even found a butter knife with a fucking gold plated handle. I mean, it's not gonna be slitting throats anytime soon, but who the hell has a gold plated butter knife in their room?

Now do me a favor real quick. You're probably in the same situation I am; sitting in your room at your computer. Now look around the area, see how many cutting objects you find. (I know that Orgazmo most likely has a few oversized knives at hand.)

How many?

One?

Two?

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

Fifteen?

...and I didn't even have to get out of my chair.

Now I have perfectly valid reasons for possessing each and every one of these objects, I'm just surprised I had them all in immediate reach. Doesn't it seem a little bit ridculus? Now I am fond of building things, and I do like to cook, but it could just be that I have an obsession with knives, sissors and the like. Hell, I'm even dating a girl with a pair of sissors tattooed on her side. Maybe they have support groups for this kind of thing. Oh well, at least I'll never be at a loss when I need to cut a piece of cardboard.

[...and the shelf which made my epiphany possible.]

[labeled]

[ February 18, 2005, 02:44 PM: Message edited by: Pliedes ]

02-18-2005, 05:24 PM

Fucking Crazy.

Pliedes · 02-18-2005, 05:25 PM

I was kind of hoping this was considered normal.

MAGICLIT · 02-18-2005, 05:25 PM

wow, did u wash the blood off of the blade before the picture? Smart move. I only have those little razor blades within arms reach for lining up coke.

Orgazmo · 02-18-2005, 06:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Pliedes:
I was kind of hoping this was considered normal.

No, this is not normal at all. As I look around, I find only a pair of scissors. In fact, if I were to look further (getting out of my chair), I'd find nothing more than a box cutter to add to my cutlery collection.

Had I read this post in my warsaw estate, the story would have been quite different...though, I must say, I still would have only had 2 or 3 blades in reach of my computing chair.

Ugly Bastard · 02-18-2005, 06:05 PM

WTF do you have all of that shit for? I don't even have a blade for my face.

-Ugly Bastard

ninjaface · 02-18-2005, 06:12 PM

That's because you lack the ability to grow facial hair. I have a swiss army knife, nail clippers, and a fold out knife. But I would have to walk several feet to reach any of them.

[ February 18, 2005, 03:12 PM: Message edited by: ninjaface ]

Ugly Bastard · 02-18-2005, 06:21 PM

Thats where you're God damn wrong. Here's me with the director of the last marathon I ran in:

-Ugly Bastard

[ February 18, 2005, 03:22 PM: Message edited by: Ugly Bastard ]

StabMaster Arson · 02-18-2005, 06:25 PM

within reach, I have two little pocket knives, a smith and wesson 3" folder, and a celtic dagger with "stabbin cabin" laser etched into it. I could stretch and include two sets of nail clippers and a set of wire cutters. I wish I could do better.

Ironic Mustache · 02-18-2005, 07:01 PM

Wow you were kidding about the ugly bastard thing.

I'm curious why Titan is giving away big ass knives as gifts.

THEINCREDIBLEdork · 02-18-2005, 07:48 PM

Is there any way you could make me one of those shelves? I'd pay 5 dollars for it.

the Butcher · 02-19-2005, 02:37 AM

I've only got a box cutter and 5 razorblades (for if life ever gets too hard, of course). But hey, I'm convinced that razorblades are the greatest cutting tools ever, so I don't keep scissors. Why would I need a safe, reliable method of cutting things when I can have the dangerous, liable to hurt myself method right in front of me? And in greater quantity?

Mr. Blonde · 02-19-2005, 02:44 AM

Wait, why are you making a shelf out of cardboard?

ninjaface · 02-19-2005, 03:12 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Pliedes:
The shelf I had in mind though was to hold my guitar picks so they'd always be in easy reach.

Hank · 02-19-2005, 03:20 AM

I got my pocket knife on me and a glock 22 .40 in the drawer beside me.

ProfessorNumber · 02-19-2005, 10:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hank:
I got my pocket knife on me and a glock 22 .40 in the drawer beside me.

nothing like cutting cardboard with a gun.

02-19-2005, 10:58 PM

This is my machete.

underwater · 02-20-2005, 02:44 PM

Do you use it to cut away that forest growing on your arm? [img]smile.gif[/img]

[ February 20, 2005, 11:45 AM: Message edited by: underwater ]

Hank · 02-20-2005, 10:35 PM

Professor, do you care to talk about your avatar?

Mr. Blonde · 02-20-2005, 11:34 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DJ FC:

This is my machete.

thats not you.

ProfessorNumber · 02-21-2005, 03:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hank:
Professor, do you care to talk about your avatar?

Sure.

Orgazmo · 02-27-2005, 05:42 AM

They weren't all within reach of my chair

1.) Broadsword of Death and Destruction (used to slay demons and bitches)
2.) Dagger of fuckyouupiness. Used by gladiators and shit...back in the day. You know.
3.) The Sword of Darkness II. <font size="1">(closeup)</font>
4.) Replica of The Sword of Darkness II. Yes, this sword is pimp enough to have a replica.
5.) Generic Bitch-Ninja Kitana.
6.) Throwing Hatchet of Asskicking.
7.) Switchblade. Used by authentic gangsters.
8.) Blade/Knucks combo + Chest Strap. Officially issued to the Turkish military awhile ago.

[ February 27, 2005, 02:45 AM: Message edited by: Orgazmo ]

Ugly Bastard · 02-27-2005, 05:56 AM

I sorta wish I could make a reply like that, only with guns. It'd be cool to own a buncha guns.

-Ugly Bastard

Mr. Blonde · 02-28-2005, 01:13 AM

I have a bunch of swords back home. I'll try to get pictures next time I go there.

[ February 27, 2005, 10:15 PM: Message edited by: Mr. Blonde ]

02-18-2005, 05:24 PM	#2 (permalink)
DJ FC Guest Posts: n/a	Fucking Crazy.
DJ FC Guest Posts: n/a

02-18-2005, 05:25 PM	#4 (permalink)
MAGICLIT Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: city of sin Posts: 2,753 Internets: 10	wow, did u wash the blood off of the blade before the picture? Smart move. I only have those little razor blades within arms reach for lining up coke.
	I am all in favor of a ruling class, especially since I rule.

02-18-2005, 06:25 PM	#9 (permalink)
StabMaster Arson Roscoe P. Coldchain Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Stabbin Cabin Posts: 2,759 Internets: 1425	within reach, I have two little pocket knives, a smith and wesson 3" folder, and a celtic dagger with "stabbin cabin" laser etched into it. I could stretch and include two sets of nail clippers and a set of wire cutters. I wish I could do better.
	LEGALIZE CRIME!

02-18-2005, 07:01 PM	#10 (permalink)
Ironic Mustache G'd up from the feet up. Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Cali Posts: 7,146 Supreme Emperor of the Jiu Jitsu Shit Forum?: Yes Internets: 114735	Wow you were kidding about the ugly bastard thing. I'm curious why Titan is giving away big ass knives as gifts.
	Creeping around as I please nonchalantly like any other Supreme Emperor might.

02-18-2005, 07:48 PM	#11 (permalink)
THEINCREDIBLEdork Emperor Meow Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 9,352 Internets: 290966	Is there any way you could make me one of those shelves? I'd pay 5 dollars for it.
	#YOLO

02-18-2005, 05:20 PM	#1 (permalink)
Pliedes Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Puget Sound Posts: 4,594 Internets: 1608	This morning I was sitting in my comfy ruby-orange armchair and thinking about how I needed to build a shelf. The shelf I had in mind though was to hold my guitar picks so they'd always be in easy reach. It would be small in size, but functional as hell. So being the industrious fellow I am, I set my mind to creating this shelf of not so large proportions. Sitting in my chair, I already had a piece of cardboard in reach to the right rear. Now having the cardboard in hand, I needed something to cut it with. Herein lies the nature of my post. Now when I'm sitting in my chair, I never want to get up, it's just that comfortable. And when my thoughts turned to method which would be the most effective way of cutting the cardboard into appropriately sized pieces. So my options were immediately constrained to cutting utensils in the near vicinity of the designated sitting area (yes, i have a sitting area, fuck you). I didn't have to look far at all. In fact, I didn't even have to look. I already had a pair of sissors in plain sight on the shelf to my left, but at this point I had already resolved to find all cuttery I could get my hands on (without getting out of my chair, of course). I was in an increasing state of disbelief as I began finding cutting utensils all around me. I've never really noticed it until now, but I have a ridiculus amount of this kind of shit within an arm's reach. As I began to gather the objects to produce photographic evidence of the cuttery, I began to find things I forgot I even had. Why wasn't this obvious to me before? Jesus christ, I even found a butter knife with a fucking gold plated handle. I mean, it's not gonna be slitting throats anytime soon, but who the hell has a gold plated butter knife in their room? Now do me a favor real quick. You're probably in the same situation I am; sitting in your room at your computer. Now look around the area, see how many cutting objects you find. (I know that Orgazmo most likely has a few oversized knives at hand.) How many? One? Two? - - - - - - - Fifteen? ...and I didn't even have to get out of my chair. Now I have perfectly valid reasons for possessing each and every one of these objects, I'm just surprised I had them all in immediate reach. Doesn't it seem a little bit ridculus? Now I am fond of building things, and I do like to cook, but it could just be that I have an obsession with knives, sissors and the like. Hell, I'm even dating a girl with a pair of sissors tattooed on her side. Maybe they have support groups for this kind of thing. Oh well, at least I'll never be at a loss when I need to cut a piece of cardboard. [...and the shelf which made my epiphany possible.] [labeled] [ February 18, 2005, 02:44 PM: Message edited by: Pliedes ]

02-18-2005, 05:25 PM	#3 (permalink)
Pliedes Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Puget Sound Posts: 4,594 Internets: 1608	I was kind of hoping this was considered normal.

02-18-2005, 06:05 PM	#6 (permalink)
Ugly Bastard Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: U.S.A. Posts: 13,643 Internets: 247330	WTF do you have all of that shit for? I don't even have a blade for my face. -Ugly Bastard

02-18-2005, 06:12 PM	#7 (permalink)
ninjaface Level 20 Holothetan Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Space Posts: 5,245 Internets: 210144	That's because you lack the ability to grow facial hair. I have a swiss army knife, nail clippers, and a fold out knife. But I would have to walk several feet to reach any of them. [ February 18, 2005, 03:12 PM: Message edited by: ninjaface ]

02-18-2005, 06:21 PM	#8 (permalink)
Ugly Bastard Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: U.S.A. Posts: 13,643 Internets: 247330	Thats where you're God damn wrong. Here's me with the director of the last marathon I ran in: -Ugly Bastard [ February 18, 2005, 03:22 PM: Message edited by: Ugly Bastard ]

02-19-2005, 02:37 AM	#12 (permalink)
the Butcher Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: that one place...you know, with the fire and damnation? oh yeh, hell. Posts: 895 Internets: 10	I've only got a box cutter and 5 razorblades (for if life ever gets too hard, of course). But hey, I'm convinced that razorblades are the greatest cutting tools ever, so I don't keep scissors. Why would I need a safe, reliable method of cutting things when I can have the dangerous, liable to hurt myself method right in front of me? And in greater quantity?
	meet me at the corner of 5th and pontiac. and make sure that no one else is with you, if you wish to see them alive again.

02-19-2005, 02:44 AM	#13 (permalink)
Mr. Blonde Spice Master Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 17,969 Internets: 284106	Wait, why are you making a shelf out of cardboard?
	Psychedelics are illegal not because a loving government is concerned that you may jump out of a third story window. Psychedelics are illegal because they dissolve opinion structures and culturally laid down models of behavior and information processing. ― Terence McKenna

02-19-2005, 03:20 AM	#15 (permalink)
Hank Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 175 Internets: 229	I got my pocket knife on me and a glock 22 .40 in the drawer beside me.
	Equality may perhaps be a right, but no power on earth can ever turn it into a fact.<br />-Balzac

02-19-2005, 10:58 PM	#17 (permalink)
DJ FC Guest Posts: n/a	This is my machete.
DJ FC Guest Posts: n/a

02-20-2005, 02:44 PM	#18 (permalink)
underwater Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: indiana Posts: 1,453 Internets: 10	Do you use it to cut away that forest growing on your arm? [img]smile.gif[/img] [ February 20, 2005, 11:45 AM: Message edited by: underwater ]
	We can dance if we want to, we can leave your friends behind, because your friends don't dance and if they don't dance then they're no friends of mine.

02-20-2005, 10:35 PM	#19 (permalink)
Hank Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 175 Internets: 229	Professor, do you care to talk about your avatar?
	Equality may perhaps be a right, but no power on earth can ever turn it into a fact.<br />-Balzac

02-27-2005, 05:42 AM	#22 (permalink)
Orgazmo COME ON YOU YANKS Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Indiana Posts: 15,731 Internets: 311447	They weren't all within reach of my chair 1.) Broadsword of Death and Destruction (used to slay demons and bitches) 2.) Dagger of fuckyouupiness. Used by gladiators and shit...back in the day. You know. 3.) The Sword of Darkness II. <font size="1">(closeup)</font> 4.) Replica of The Sword of Darkness II. Yes, this sword is pimp enough to have a replica. 5.) Generic Bitch-Ninja Kitana. 6.) Throwing Hatchet of Asskicking. 7.) Switchblade. Used by authentic gangsters. 8.) Blade/Knucks combo + Chest Strap. Officially issued to the Turkish military awhile ago. [ February 27, 2005, 02:45 AM: Message edited by: Orgazmo ]

02-27-2005, 05:56 AM	#23 (permalink)
Ugly Bastard Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: U.S.A. Posts: 13,643 Internets: 247330	I sorta wish I could make a reply like that, only with guns. It'd be cool to own a buncha guns. -Ugly Bastard

02-28-2005, 01:13 AM	#24 (permalink)
Mr. Blonde Spice Master Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 17,969 Internets: 284106	I have a bunch of swords back home. I'll try to get pictures next time I go there. [ February 27, 2005, 10:15 PM: Message edited by: Mr. Blonde ]
	Psychedelics are illegal not because a loving government is concerned that you may jump out of a third story window. Psychedelics are illegal because they dissolve opinion structures and culturally laid down models of behavior and information processing. ― Terence McKenna