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Old 10-22-2002, 11:57 PM   #1 (permalink)
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I've noticed that The Confessional forum has lacked post. So I would like to dump something off of my chest, hoping this action will have a two pronged responce:
1.) I won't go to hell
2.) Nubblies.com is more livid.
(I feel that making nubblies.com more alive will result in a trip to hell for me, so basically what we've got here is a Catch-22, but nonetheless, I Confess...)
I was at Dunham's Sporting Goods, located in comfy Warsaw, Indiana about a month ago. I was there with an esteemed member of nubblies.com.
While we (we being me, and the aforementioned esteemed member) were there, we opted to view tennis raquets. I noticed that there was a rather lusty looking raquet that I would be able to obtain for the nice low price of $100 (which is a lot lower than the $280 that it had been marked down from). So I thought to myself, "Hmm, I've got two options here. Option 1; Be an honest conesuer and purchase the raquet for $100. Option 2; Take the bar code from this lovely $24.99 raquet and 'accidentally' place it on the $280 dollar raquet".
Well, being the kniving, deviant bastard I am, I of course opted for Option 2 (while my nubblies companion waited in the car as a getaway driver, namely because he was too 'chicken' to be in the store with me while I performed this illegal act......also, NOTE: It's hard to be a good getaway driver when you are sitting with the seat totally reclined and listening to music at a level that causes my Factory speakers to nearly explode, but these are merely details...).
In closing, I would like to say while yes, I am going to hell. I'm certainly going to be a helluva tennis player before I get there. And now that I have confessed my sins on nubblies.com; there is a chance (albeit small) that I will now be saved from eternal damnation.

[This message has been edited by Ugly Bastard (edited October 22, 2002).]
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Old 10-22-2002, 11:59 PM   #2 (permalink)
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You are forgiven, my child.
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Old 10-23-2002, 12:01 AM   #3 (permalink)
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I've kept a tab of things i've stolen from the Glenbrook mall. Although I have not lifted anything from there in 9 months now. I lifted a total of $580 worth of stuff from Glenbrook mall in ft. wayne. I advise to you all not to shoplift because it's an addiction much like a drug. Once you get started you can't stop and once you get caught your fucked. I stopped somehow and never got caught. I don't plan to shoplift ever again...
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Old 10-23-2002, 12:03 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Orgazmo-Thank you
BDH-I know what you mean, more than you can possibly imagine. I also have stopped, and I thank the Lord everyday for not letting me get caught (I got some really cool shit out of the deal too....God, ya gotta love him)
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Old 10-23-2002, 12:11 AM   #5 (permalink)
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I have stolen a few times in my life as well. Once I stole a bar of deoderant and a bottle of chapstick from marsh.
I think there might be something else too that I have taken from some place
obviously no major crime. I just need to be forgiven.
If I think of the other thing I will be sure to post it.

Thank you for your time
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Old 10-23-2002, 12:14 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Yeah those "bottles of chapstick" are a bitch. Was that the 50 pound bottle? Or the 30 pound bottle? I usually just buy what I like to call a "tube" of chapstick. But some people like those bottles. They're just a bitch to spread around your lips I think.
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Old 10-23-2002, 12:14 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Forgiven. Both of you forgiven.
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Old 10-23-2002, 12:15 AM   #8 (permalink)
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What all did you steal, Big?
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Old 10-23-2002, 12:15 AM   #9 (permalink)
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I stole a 50 dollar sweater from abercrombie

went in the dressing room and put it on under my clothes...no sensors on it

I also took a bottle of cologne from holister. Think that was around 25-30 dollars. Went to Kings Island and didn't bring a bathing suit for the waterpark so I just stole one...once again put it on under my clothes. That was like 35 since everything is overpriced at Kings Island

My best friend stole a 30 dollar pair of sandles in ft. myers. Just put them on his feet and walked out with them while the manager watched him and then proceeded to chase us down the beach...

good times yes...would I do it ever again??

no sir
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Old 10-23-2002, 12:22 AM   #10 (permalink)
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BDH
If my math is correct.....I calculated your total to come to $110, not $580.
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Old 10-23-2002, 12:27 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Maybe he stole 5 of each thing...
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Old 10-23-2002, 12:28 AM   #12 (permalink)
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....thus leaving him $30 dollars short.
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Old 10-23-2002, 12:32 AM   #13 (permalink)
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and an extra $30 pair of sandles...
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Old 10-23-2002, 12:33 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Possibly


The thing that strikes me funny about BDH, is that he steals all this shit. But all he would really have to do is say, "Mommy, can I have some money", and his problem would be solved.
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Old 10-23-2002, 12:39 AM   #15 (permalink)
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I mean I've read mean things before...but wow.
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Old 10-23-2002, 12:40 AM   #16 (permalink)
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It's mean, yet oh so true.

And if you deny it BDH, I swear to God I'll burn your 2.5 million dollar home down

Have a Great Day! -Ugly Bastard
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Old 10-23-2002, 01:08 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Lethal- yeah your calculations are correct I have stolen many other things those were just the bigger ones that I stole. I've stolen countless necklaces (none of which I wear) and other things. A couple sock hats that sort of deal.

Ugly Bastard why must you try and bring personal things onto the board? There are no reasons to bring these things on here whatsoever. Not to mention my home is not a 2.5 million dollar home. It's a normal 2 story house which is very normal much like other people and probably some peoples on the board. Secondly my family is not that rich. I'll admit were not super poor but were not filthy rich and at that i'm sick of people saying that. My dad worked his ass off through 8 years of college and when he married my mom bought her a dozen roses for her wedding gift and bounced the check. Yes folks the 30 dollar check he wrote for it was bounced not to mention they lived in a trailor home. I have nothing but respect for my parents because they have done nothing but work hard for what they have and what they have provided for me. So Ugly Bastard say another thing and be and asshole I don't care, but that really had no place in this discussion at all.

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Old 10-23-2002, 09:42 AM   #18 (permalink)
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BDH-
You said a few days ago "Albertson, I doubt....."

And now you say "Ugly Bastard, let's not bring personal info onto the board"

My how the tables have turned.


I can respect hard work, so I'll lay off the "rich" stuff. But if I find out that you made that whole thing up in an attempt to make me feel bad, I'll burn your fucking house down



[This message has been edited by Ugly Bastard (edited October 23, 2002).]
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Old 10-23-2002, 07:49 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Hey ugly, here is the definition of bottle - A receptacle having a narrow neck, usually no handles, and a mouth that can be plugged, corked, or capped.

If I am correct, a BOTTLE of chapstick has no handles and a mouth that can be capped.

so in closing, you can go take a TUBE of chapstick and shove it right up your fat ass, bitch.

straight from www.dictionary.com

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Old 10-23-2002, 07:51 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Damn.....Ugly he just got you
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Old 10-23-2002, 08:02 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Bling-Bling. Good one Johnny.
Here is the defintion for "tube" (from www.dictionary.com mind you)

tube-A small flexible cylindrical container sealed at one end and having a screw cap at the other, for pigments, toothpaste, lip balms, or other pastelike substances


My definition is a little better. You see a tube is smaller than a bottle, much like chapstick is smaller than aquafina (which would come in a bottle).
So, in since your asshole is so loose already, why don't you stick a bottle up it for me? The tube would be like throwing a wrench into an empty garage.
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Old 10-23-2002, 09:03 PM   #22 (permalink)
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why would you want me to stick a bottle up my ass FOR you....what are you trying to say man....sick..

no dollar signs for this post...i'm too disturbed right now...
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Old 10-23-2002, 09:39 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Nice attempt at a bash after I just dismantled you. You probably were better off just saying "yeah, you win, I'm a moron"
But instead you had to comment about who is watching you while you stick stuff in your ass. Not good Johnny, not good at all.
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Old 10-23-2002, 10:44 PM   #24 (permalink)
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Ugly, you told me that you wanted me to stick a foreign object in my ass for you. In other words, if you were physically able to, you would do it yourself, but you're not so you can't.

I find this sick, b/c I neither want to stick something up my own ass nor do I want someone to stick something up my ass. My ass is for exit only.
Thank you very much.

Ugly you scare me
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Old 10-23-2002, 10:59 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Johnny-

Apparantly I have conveyed the idea into your mind that I want to stick something in your ass for you. This topic has seemed to excite you quite a bit, so I would like to just say that if I have misled you in any way, shape, or form, my apologies. It was not my intention to lead you to believe that I will be inserting bottles up your ass. But if you talked to the right people, I'm sure someone could stick something in your ass for you (or visa-versa, however you like it).
If you ever need any help with this matter, let me know. Because, nubblies buddies don't let other nubblies buddies go without sex.
Your friend, Ugly Bastard
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