The Ironic Mustache's Corn Experiment - Page 3 - Nubblies.net Forums

Beebs · 01-20-2005, 08:21 PM

DJ FC, I think I ate your chocolate squirrel.

[ January 20, 2005, 05:22 PM: Message edited by: Beebs ]

Ironic Mustache · 01-20-2005, 09:33 PM

Name it "Steven."

blackbirdsjoy · 01-21-2005, 05:46 PM

WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! WHERE ARE THOSE FUCKING PICTURES?!?!?!

Orgazmo · 01-21-2005, 05:56 PM

I think the art is still being made.

THEINCREDIBLEdork · 01-21-2005, 06:58 PM

Patience my son, a corn turd cannot just be made, it must be crafted.

THEINCREDIBLEdork · 01-21-2005, 09:39 PM

My second anal excretion has occurred today since I began my corn binge. The first one there were a couple little cornlets, this one was much more impressive. My guess it had a 1 to 3 corn to poopmass ratio. It was about 8 inches long and appeared to be 1 and a half inches in diameter. I'm hoping as corn takes over my poop it will still be mostly solid waste. I prefer a nice crisp turd not a mushy one.

edit: I just did a search on google for "crisp turd", I appear to be the first person in recorded history to coin the term, thank you.

[ January 21, 2005, 06:43 PM: Message edited by: THEINCREDIBLEdork ]

Ugly Bastard · 01-21-2005, 09:41 PM

I like that you really did begin a corn binge.

I, for one, will not be satisfied until there are images. Sorry.

-Ugly Bastard

THEINCREDIBLEdork · 01-23-2005, 05:50 AM

Well, I managed to scarf down my last can of corn without hurling. So the next thing that comes out of my ass will be the corn turd I guess. So hopefully there will be a nice gallery of shit by the end of tommorrow. I'm still hoping for a miracle, but the turd I turded today wasn't anything special, it just looked like your average corn turd. Yours truley, dork.

Orgazmo · 01-23-2005, 08:38 PM

I'm on the edge of my seat over here.

ninjaface · 01-23-2005, 11:59 PM

If it doesnt turn out(knock on wood), I suggest taking a month off, and trying again. But next time, dont chew the corn. Simply swallow entire spoonfulls.

01-24-2005, 12:55 AM

THEINCREDIBLEdork, have you thought about asking the University for a research grant?

George Sherman · 01-24-2005, 01:01 AM

i wanna see some shit dude

Reefer King · 01-24-2005, 01:14 AM

has anyone ever drank mountain dew solid for like three days and had their shit turn green?

THEINCREDIBLEdork · 01-24-2005, 01:54 AM

And on the third day... the corn has risen again...

The moment of truth is here. Please scroll down very slowly for a climactic effect:

This is what came out out of my ass:

To my dismay and trouncing on my highest hopes, the turd arrived DOA. However, there is still much we can learn from the corn turd's remains:

If you look very closely, you can make out what appears to be a portrait of Ghandi:

Its simply amazing as you can surely see.
I decided that if this experiment was going to be completely thorough, I would have to examine the inner-workings of the turd. I started my incision on the turd's sternum and proceeded to separate the left hemisphere from the right. As you can see for yourself, the results are quite spectacular.

As much as it hurt, I had to dispose of the corn turd... For it smelled like shit. I placed her in the place I thought she would have liked to rest for eternity. It was truley breathtaking when I discovered to my great delight that the turd was indeed mystical, for when I placed her into the bowl, the turd disintegrated instantly, the only thing I can compare it to is an Aurora. The picture just doesn't do it justice.

I cannot obviously take a picture of the bliss I felt as the corn turd was sqeezed into this world, I cannot even describe it in words. So in closing I will end in a Haiku to express myself.

Massage my prostate
Mystical turd made of corn
I cry with dry tears

Ugly Bastard · 01-24-2005, 01:59 AM

God damn those are phat. I feel like I can smell shit just by looking at these pics. That's how good they are. I honestly wanted to throw up at first. God damn. Well done sir. I'm going to post this now so I can get off this page, because I honestly feel like I can smell shit right now by seeing this on my monitor.

-Ugly Bastard

edit: God damn! I shit my pants a minute ago. Ok, nm. That explains a lot.

[ January 23, 2005, 10:59 PM: Message edited by: Ugly Bastard ]

Orgazmo · 01-24-2005, 01:59 AM

WOW!

That was the post of the century.

Terrific documentation.

I bow to you.

01-24-2005, 01:59 AM

This is the greatest post in the history of mankind.

ninjaface · 01-24-2005, 02:00 AM

This experiment has transcended science. The mess of toilet paper on the floor in contrast with the Excrement-Aurora is like a metaphor for our lives..
May the memory of your corn turd live on longer than the stench ever could.

Ironic Mustache · 01-24-2005, 04:41 PM

I've never been so proud.

Reefer King · 01-24-2005, 05:06 PM

man that shit is whack

Ironic Mustache · 01-24-2005, 05:58 PM

Don't be a dick.

George Sherman · 01-24-2005, 06:09 PM

That is awsome

MAGICLIT · 02-03-2005, 07:23 PM

stache meet me in psychobabble thursday the 10th between 10 A.M. & 2P.M. I wanna make u cum again

ur bitch

MAGICLIT · 02-03-2005, 07:27 PM

I just wanna fuck!!!!!!!!!!!

George Sherman · 02-03-2005, 07:27 PM

what the hell? who...

01-20-2005, 09:33 PM	#52 (permalink)
Ironic Mustache G'd up from the feet up. Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Cali Posts: 7,146 Supreme Emperor of the Jiu Jitsu Shit Forum?: Yes Internets: 114735	Name it "Steven."
	Creeping around as I please nonchalantly like any other Supreme Emperor might.

01-21-2005, 05:46 PM	#53 (permalink)
blackbirdsjoy Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: The Piss Hole Posts: 185 Internets: 10	WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! WHERE ARE THOSE FUCKING PICTURES?!?!?!
	Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn! Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah-nagl fhtagn.

01-21-2005, 06:58 PM	#55 (permalink)
THEINCREDIBLEdork Emperor Meow Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 9,352 Internets: 290966	Patience my son, a corn turd cannot just be made, it must be crafted.
	#YOLO

01-21-2005, 09:39 PM	#56 (permalink)
THEINCREDIBLEdork Emperor Meow Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 9,352 Internets: 290966	My second anal excretion has occurred today since I began my corn binge. The first one there were a couple little cornlets, this one was much more impressive. My guess it had a 1 to 3 corn to poopmass ratio. It was about 8 inches long and appeared to be 1 and a half inches in diameter. I'm hoping as corn takes over my poop it will still be mostly solid waste. I prefer a nice crisp turd not a mushy one. edit: I just did a search on google for "crisp turd", I appear to be the first person in recorded history to coin the term, thank you. [ January 21, 2005, 06:43 PM: Message edited by: THEINCREDIBLEdork ]
	#YOLO

01-23-2005, 05:50 AM	#58 (permalink)
THEINCREDIBLEdork Emperor Meow Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 9,352 Internets: 290966	Well, I managed to scarf down my last can of corn without hurling. So the next thing that comes out of my ass will be the corn turd I guess. So hopefully there will be a nice gallery of shit by the end of tommorrow. I'm still hoping for a miracle, but the turd I turded today wasn't anything special, it just looked like your average corn turd. Yours truley, dork.
	#YOLO

01-20-2005, 08:21 PM	#51 (permalink)
Beebs Poor Sport Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Indianapolis / Middlebury / Long Lake Posts: 5,306 Internets: 127341	DJ FC, I think I ate your chocolate squirrel. [ January 20, 2005, 05:22 PM: Message edited by: Beebs ]

01-21-2005, 05:56 PM	#54 (permalink)
Orgazmo COME ON YOU YANKS Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Indiana Posts: 15,730 Internets: 311447	I think the art is still being made.

01-21-2005, 09:41 PM	#57 (permalink)
Ugly Bastard Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: U.S.A. Posts: 13,643 Internets: 247330	I like that you really did begin a corn binge. I, for one, will not be satisfied until there are images. Sorry. -Ugly Bastard

01-23-2005, 08:38 PM	#59 (permalink)
Orgazmo COME ON YOU YANKS Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Indiana Posts: 15,730 Internets: 311447	I'm on the edge of my seat over here.

01-23-2005, 11:59 PM	#60 (permalink)
ninjaface Level 20 Holothetan Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Space Posts: 5,245 Internets: 210144	If it doesnt turn out(knock on wood), I suggest taking a month off, and trying again. But next time, dont chew the corn. Simply swallow entire spoonfulls.

01-24-2005, 12:55 AM	#61 (permalink)
DJ FC Guest Posts: n/a	THEINCREDIBLEdork, have you thought about asking the University for a research grant?
DJ FC Guest Posts: n/a

01-24-2005, 01:01 AM	#62 (permalink)
George Sherman Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Fullerton & Damen Posts: 1,109 Internets: 14	i wanna see some shit dude
	...to abuse the testicles of the establishment.

01-24-2005, 01:14 AM	#63 (permalink)
Reefer King Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Penn. Posts: 47 Internets: 10	has anyone ever drank mountain dew solid for like three days and had their shit turn green?

01-24-2005, 01:54 AM	#64 (permalink)
THEINCREDIBLEdork Emperor Meow Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 9,352 Internets: 290966	And on the third day... the corn has risen again... The moment of truth is here. Please scroll down very slowly for a climactic effect: This is what came out out of my ass: To my dismay and trouncing on my highest hopes, the turd arrived DOA. However, there is still much we can learn from the corn turd's remains: If you look very closely, you can make out what appears to be a portrait of Ghandi: Its simply amazing as you can surely see. I decided that if this experiment was going to be completely thorough, I would have to examine the inner-workings of the turd. I started my incision on the turd's sternum and proceeded to separate the left hemisphere from the right. As you can see for yourself, the results are quite spectacular. As much as it hurt, I had to dispose of the corn turd... For it smelled like shit. I placed her in the place I thought she would have liked to rest for eternity. It was truley breathtaking when I discovered to my great delight that the turd was indeed mystical, for when I placed her into the bowl, the turd disintegrated instantly, the only thing I can compare it to is an Aurora. The picture just doesn't do it justice. I cannot obviously take a picture of the bliss I felt as the corn turd was sqeezed into this world, I cannot even describe it in words. So in closing I will end in a Haiku to express myself. Massage my prostate Mystical turd made of corn I cry with dry tears
	#YOLO

01-24-2005, 01:59 AM	#65 (permalink)
Ugly Bastard Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: U.S.A. Posts: 13,643 Internets: 247330	God damn those are phat. I feel like I can smell shit just by looking at these pics. That's how good they are. I honestly wanted to throw up at first. God damn. Well done sir. I'm going to post this now so I can get off this page, because I honestly feel like I can smell shit right now by seeing this on my monitor. -Ugly Bastard edit: God damn! I shit my pants a minute ago. Ok, nm. That explains a lot. [ January 23, 2005, 10:59 PM: Message edited by: Ugly Bastard ]

01-24-2005, 01:59 AM	#66 (permalink)
Orgazmo COME ON YOU YANKS Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Indiana Posts: 15,730 Internets: 311447	WOW! That was the post of the century. Terrific documentation. I bow to you.

01-24-2005, 01:59 AM	#67 (permalink)
DJ FC Guest Posts: n/a	This is the greatest post in the history of mankind.
DJ FC Guest Posts: n/a

01-24-2005, 02:00 AM	#68 (permalink)
ninjaface Level 20 Holothetan Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Space Posts: 5,245 Internets: 210144	This experiment has transcended science. The mess of toilet paper on the floor in contrast with the Excrement-Aurora is like a metaphor for our lives.. May the memory of your corn turd live on longer than the stench ever could.

01-24-2005, 04:41 PM	#69 (permalink)
Ironic Mustache G'd up from the feet up. Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Cali Posts: 7,146 Supreme Emperor of the Jiu Jitsu Shit Forum?: Yes Internets: 114735	I've never been so proud.
	Creeping around as I please nonchalantly like any other Supreme Emperor might.

01-24-2005, 05:06 PM	#70 (permalink)
Reefer King Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Penn. Posts: 47 Internets: 10	man that shit is whack

01-24-2005, 05:58 PM	#71 (permalink)
Ironic Mustache G'd up from the feet up. Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Cali Posts: 7,146 Supreme Emperor of the Jiu Jitsu Shit Forum?: Yes Internets: 114735	Don't be a dick.
	Creeping around as I please nonchalantly like any other Supreme Emperor might.

01-24-2005, 06:09 PM	#72 (permalink)
George Sherman Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Fullerton & Damen Posts: 1,109 Internets: 14	That is awsome
	...to abuse the testicles of the establishment.

02-03-2005, 07:23 PM	#73 (permalink)
MAGICLIT Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: city of sin Posts: 2,753 Internets: 10	stache meet me in psychobabble thursday the 10th between 10 A.M. & 2P.M. I wanna make u cum again ur bitch
	I am all in favor of a ruling class, especially since I rule.

02-03-2005, 07:27 PM	#74 (permalink)
MAGICLIT Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: city of sin Posts: 2,753 Internets: 10	I just wanna fuck!!!!!!!!!!!
	I am all in favor of a ruling class, especially since I rule.

02-03-2005, 07:27 PM	#75 (permalink)
George Sherman Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Fullerton & Damen Posts: 1,109 Internets: 14	what the hell? who...
	...to abuse the testicles of the establishment.