Ninjas.
Pirates don't stike fear into the hearts of the innocent the way ninjas do.
That fat ass loser you attempt to ignore on a daily basis is probably a computer addict, and as such, a pirate of music and software. Also, the swashbuckling type of pirate is usually more of a comical figure than a foe to be feared. There have been films and such that have portrayed ninjas as comical characters, but even these humorous ninjas still had the ability to kick serious ass. The humorous pirate type is usually quite incompetent, only capable of the phrase "Argggh!" and getting drunk on cheap rum.
Ninjas, on the other hand, are super sweet. They can do good or evil, unlike the pirates, who are sinful and hated for their pathetic semi-evil ways. Ninjas could totally flip out and kill you and your dog before you even knew you were being attacked. You'd hear a damn pirate coming because he'd be drunk off his ass, staggering around, crashing into everything, swearing, and pointlessly firing guns and cannons into the air. Chances are the pirate wouldn't even get to you, he'd probably pass out somewhere along the way from all the looting and pillaging he committed (and the excessive drinking of cheap rum). If that hadn't stopped the pirate before he got to you, the diseases he picked up from ravaging every whore within 10 miles would have dropped him dead before he could ever cause you any real harm.
As a child, I used to fear ninjas, not pirates. The threat of silent assassains sneaking into my house and killing me and my dog without second thought scared the shit out of me. Hell, I still fear a ninja attack every time I enter a dark, quiet room. I've never feared a pirate, even in small, defenseless boats did the threat of scurrvy ridden pirates ever make me nervous. Ninjas own you.
[This message has been edited by victim (edited February 21, 2003).]
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