Whether or not you believe that a 17 year old male can be in love is your opinion. But if it is your opinion, then I say fuck you.
There certain types of people in this world. People that do things to try to please others, and then there are people who are just themselves but stil manage to change a person's life more than they could ever imagine. It is the latter type of person that is the kind that I feel are truly capable of loving. People who try to please everyone are obviously doing it for personal gratification, because they are doing it for themselves, not for the people. The other group of people, however, affect others without trying, and that is so much more significant.
What does all this have to do with love, you ask? On June 28th, I lost the one person in my life that I can truly say I was in love with. Even though I haven't known her for my whole life or even a good portion of it, she changed me in so many ways that I couldn't even list them all. Without even trying, she was the most influential person in my life, she has made the biggest mark in my life to this day. She and I always talked about the difference between the phrases "I love you" and "I'm in love with you". She and I always would always say "I love you" to each other, because we did love each other. Just like you love your friends and family. The difference is that we realized it was not the same as being in love. However, as time passed, we grew closer and closer and I can say that for the first time in my life, I was in love with someone.
Everyday I think about her. I would cut my own heart out and set it on fire if it meant I could see her one more time. I write her every night, but yet it doesn't do much to help cope. On the outside, I may seem alright, doing better. But I will tell you all with the most sincerity I can give, if you ever lose someone as special as she was, you will never heal. Life forever has been changed for me.
You think I can't experience love because I'm young? Fuck you. When you finally experience it, you will know that it's not something that comes with age. It's something that happens, and in that moment where you realize that, it will be the single greatest moment of your entire life.
I'll end with saying this. Tear my post apart. Break it into little sections and explain to me why you think I'm wrong. But nothing can change my past and nothing will change my emotions.
"You can change your mind but not your heart and if you try and fake it again I'll know."
-The June Spirit
[ August 08, 2003, 12:44 PM: Message edited by: the_butcher ]
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