Fireworks - Nubblies.net Forums

Orgazmo · 07-01-2003, 03:24 AM

I, along with a few other Nubblites, have been titting around with some fireworks the past few days. I'm sure we're not alone...so I've created this thread to share your experiences with your feelings towards your various fireworks & firework vendors. Of course, as time goes on, this thread should grow accordingly and then, right after the 4th, we'll have the info as to who the good vendors are and what we're looking for as we rape them of their good shit at a heftily discounted rate. Onward.

The Vendors

Thus far, I've only visited two firework vendors...each with their own pros & cons.

The first vendor that I visited is located behind Big Apple Bagel. They have a huge red sign that says "Fireworks: 60% off" directing customers to their fine...alley. The first thing one notices when walking into the place is that the guy running it has a huge ass eye patch and wounds about his face...not very good for business. All in all, their prices were pretty high...but the guy was cool and even showed us some shit. He didn't bullshit around with us at all, he told us exactly what was what and even persuaded us to put some of the shit down that we had planned on because he didn't think it was worth the pricetag. Not bad folks...but kinda high prices. They had more bigger shit than the piddle ass type of thing that you and I are probably interested in...yet still some shit worth checking out...like some pimp ass balls that will be reviewed a bit later.

The other vendor that I visited is located where Gopher Golf used to be. It has a huge ass "Buy 1 Get 5 Free" sign in front of it. Of course, this sign only applies to two of their products (two variations of Roman Candles), but that's neither here nor there. I only have vendor #1 to compare this joint to...but, pricewise, it's generally superior. The folks running it aren't quite as... [img]graemlins/eathead.gif[/img] ...but they're also not as straight with the customer. They have a much larger selection of firecrackers and bottlerocketry here, which is a definite plus. Along with this, they give away free shit with their purchases...which is a definite good thing. I'd definitely give this place higher marks than the first if you're just interested in titting around with some friends. If you're looking to wow the entire family, visit joint #1.

The Works

We haven't sampled too many...but here's the lowdown on some of the basic shit out there.

Black Cat Bottlerockets

They were very equally priced at both joints at around $7 - $8 for a package...which contains a cockload (not sure how many...just a cockload). They're simple, yet fun. Very apt to being used in creative setups...always a plus.

Black Cat Firecrackers

Like their bottlerocket brothers, they're just as you'd imagine. They were cheaper @ vendor #2 by a few dollars, ringing up around $5 - $6 for a brick (which, like the bottlerockets, is a cockload). We've dicked around with them for a good while now and are not even half way through the dick with fins. They're simple, yet fun. You light the fuse, quickly throw them, then experience a boom. Or, if you're not a boring son of a bitch, you build sand castles and wire them with explosives...then blow them up. Either way...

M-1000's

These were not sold @ vendor #1, only @ #2. Thirty-Six pieces cost us $10. The motherfucker that sold them to us claimed that he was told that they could blow a hole in a tree, yet he could not confirm because he didn't tit around with firecrackers...he was an "in state" type of guy. Well, he heard wrong. They're quite a bit stronger than simple firecrackers...but not nearly strong enough to blow a fucking hole in a fucking tree. With that said, they still blow simple firecrackers out of the water. Out of the water enough to pay almost double for a small fraction of the amount? That's your call. They're powerful enough to blow the cap off a sealed gatorabe bottle...but not powerful enough to fuck with an aquafina. Powerful enough to be seen & heard when they explode from the bottom of a pond when it's thrown not too far from the shoreline...but not powerful enough to move more than a few rocks when buried in a pile. We attempted to destroy a foot long bass with one...but the fucker spit it out an instant before he exploded (and, like dumbasses, he put it in and threw him toward the water, thinking he's start swimming away and then be blown apart...leaving us with a good show and no cleanup...instead, he spit it out and swam away...leaving us trying to catch another one for an hour...to no avail). So yeah, they're good...

Saturn Missiles

These were given to us by the kind folks @ vendor #2. They were pretty pimp for how cheap they are ($2 for a 25 pack @ vendor #1, forget price @ #2...which lasts about 30 seconds). I don't know, they're not bad I guess...but I like fireworks that you can fuck around with a little bit. You can't really do anything cool with these other than watch them...

Pimp ass balls...I don't remember their name

Tongue or UB, if either of you recall the names of these badasses, feel free to post. These sons of bitches are pimp as hell. They cost us $8 for a 6 pack at Vendor #1, Vendor #2 had the same product for a few dollars more. Basically, they're real fireworks. They're balls that you put in a tube (that comes with the package), and then you light a fuse. It sounds like a cannon coming out, goes sky high, then blows in a boom & shower of sparks. It was loud enough that, after lighting the first one, we heard someone yell "Holy Shit" a few houses down and, a few minutes after we had cleaned up, two cops came patrolling the area to see what the fuck was going on (we set them off @ 11:30 at night...so we probably got called in). Anyway, they're well worth the $8 pricetag. Well fucking worth it.

Alright, we had a few pieces of some other shit...but that's basically it. I don't really remember the other stuff well enough to describe or review...so yeah. If you have any experiences of your own with vendors or works, feel free to post them or, if you have any in the future, go ahead. The goal is to make this thread pimp by the 4th so that we can raid the fuckers the following week for the good shit.

Ugly Bastard · 07-01-2003, 09:29 AM

At vendor Number 2, we also received some pimper bottle rockets. I forget what they were called as well, but they gave us three free ones upon checkout. Basically, they're just larger bottle-rockets that are faulty and explode on the ground, and endanger the lives of teenagers, but they're still tight-as-hell for the price we paid for them.

Orgazmo did a custardly job of covering the actual fireworks, so I feel no need to go any deeper with that. I would however like to go ahead and say that the firework stand where Gopher Golf Used To Be kicks the ass (rather handily) of the fireworks stand behind Big-Apple Bagel. So patronize the Gopher Golf people if you know what's best for you. But, if you want to see the guy with a patch on his eye (probably because he blew it out with his own merchandise), as Orgazmo mentioned, you should go to the one behind Big Apple Bagels because the manager of that store has a huge-ass band-aid on his eyeball, and it's not bad.

One of the other pieces of tinkery that we obtained was a huge-ass bottle-rocket. The "stick" part of the bottle rocket was probably about the size of a thick golf club, and the firecracker part of the bottle-rocket would be about the size of a cob of corn. Alright, so now that you have that image, the idea of this device is to gently stick it in the ground, light it, and watch it go skyward. Well, one or the other of us (namely otnguegina ...you'll have to unscramble his name to find out his real identity) inserted the work too far into the ground, so when he lit it, this seemingly pimp-ass firework started blazing right on the ground (imagine someone lighting off one of those fireworks that you see at the fair, on the ground....then back it off a bit, and you have what I'm talking about). Anywho, it was very pimp to watch this thing blow up on the ground, but I can't even imagine how pimp it would be to watch it blow up in the air. I would recommend picking one up just to see if it's worth the small patch of money you have to pay for it.

Have fun.

-Ugly Bastard

[ July 01, 2003, 07:31 AM: Message edited by: Ugly Bastard ]

Orgazmo · 07-02-2003, 03:59 PM

Vendor #3 is set up in the Old Wal-Mart Building. This vendor is like a direct outlet for TnT Brand Fireworks...which is good. They sell shit both big and small...but are aimed more toward those looking to make a big impression on their guests. Their prices are a little high, but they have "orange tag discounts" on certain products that leave them buy one/get one free. This more than compensates for the normally excessive pricetag. The people running it are hillbillies...but nice hillbillies. I liked them. Unfortunately, they are not quite as straight with the customer as Vendor #1's eye patch man was.

TnT Festival Balls
Are amazing. They're the exact same thing as what was described above "Pimp Ass Balls," but they're TnT. They cost $14.99 for 6 at Vendor #3, but are buy one get one free, leaving you with 12 balls for $15. (A bit of a deal, since they were $8/6 of offbrand @ Vendor #1). Of course, the brand didn't change how cool they were...but that's neither here nor there.

Stick of Dynamite
This is what it was called at Vendor #1, I forget what it was at Vendor #3, but it's sitting up on the counter right by the guy. The moral of the story is that it's $2.00 and a waste of money. It's basically three packages of firecrackers inside one tube. You light the fuse, throw the tube, and you hear three packages of firecrackers go off independently of one another. Nothing special. Wasted $2.00.

That's all I have for this installment. I'd say that this vendor should have very good prices the week following the 4th due to them being a direct outlet for TnT fireworks...but that's just a hunch.

sim_flex_x · 07-03-2003, 01:51 PM

Update: the place behind Big Apple Bagel is now the cheapest place in town (that I've found). Apparently the guy who was running it previously (guy with eye patch) had the prices jacked up for no apparent reason (and is no longer employed), so the people who are running it now went through yesterday and fixed all the prices. They're good folk, a little dirty and smelly, but extremely nice, and they have a cool dog.

Anyway, the guy was complaining that they sit there for 12 hours everyday (10-10) and hardly anyone comes in, which is why there is now a huge yellow godzilla on top of big apple bagel, so people know they're there. He also wanted me to tell anyone interested that the more you buy the more he can "wheel and deal" with you, he said that about ten times actually...

so yeah if you're still looking for fireworks I highly recommend visiting the place behind the bagel joint. I visited the Gopher Golf place and while you do get free stuff if you spend however much money the bagel place is much cheaper.

so go, buy, and have yourself a happy 4th

Ugly Bastard · 07-03-2003, 02:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sim_flex_x:
Update: Apparently the guy who was running it previously (guy with eye patch) had the prices jacked up for no apparent reason (and is no longer employed.

Wow!

-Ugly Bastard

sim_flex_x · 07-03-2003, 04:00 PM

well, i think it's the guy with the eye patch :]

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07-01-2003, 03:24 AM	#1 (permalink)
Orgazmo COME ON YOU YANKS Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Indiana Posts: 15,733 Internets: 311447	I, along with a few other Nubblites, have been titting around with some fireworks the past few days. I'm sure we're not alone...so I've created this thread to share your experiences with your feelings towards your various fireworks & firework vendors. Of course, as time goes on, this thread should grow accordingly and then, right after the 4th, we'll have the info as to who the good vendors are and what we're looking for as we rape them of their good shit at a heftily discounted rate. Onward. The Vendors Thus far, I've only visited two firework vendors...each with their own pros & cons. The first vendor that I visited is located behind Big Apple Bagel. They have a huge red sign that says "Fireworks: 60% off" directing customers to their fine...alley. The first thing one notices when walking into the place is that the guy running it has a huge ass eye patch and wounds about his face...not very good for business. All in all, their prices were pretty high...but the guy was cool and even showed us some shit. He didn't bullshit around with us at all, he told us exactly what was what and even persuaded us to put some of the shit down that we had planned on because he didn't think it was worth the pricetag. Not bad folks...but kinda high prices. They had more bigger shit than the piddle ass type of thing that you and I are probably interested in...yet still some shit worth checking out...like some pimp ass balls that will be reviewed a bit later. The other vendor that I visited is located where Gopher Golf used to be. It has a huge ass "Buy 1 Get 5 Free" sign in front of it. Of course, this sign only applies to two of their products (two variations of Roman Candles), but that's neither here nor there. I only have vendor #1 to compare this joint to...but, pricewise, it's generally superior. The folks running it aren't quite as... [img]graemlins/eathead.gif[/img] ...but they're also not as straight with the customer. They have a much larger selection of firecrackers and bottlerocketry here, which is a definite plus. Along with this, they give away free shit with their purchases...which is a definite good thing. I'd definitely give this place higher marks than the first if you're just interested in titting around with some friends. If you're looking to wow the entire family, visit joint #1. The Works We haven't sampled too many...but here's the lowdown on some of the basic shit out there. Black Cat Bottlerockets They were very equally priced at both joints at around $7 - $8 for a package...which contains a cockload (not sure how many...just a cockload). They're simple, yet fun. Very apt to being used in creative setups...always a plus. Black Cat Firecrackers Like their bottlerocket brothers, they're just as you'd imagine. They were cheaper @ vendor #2 by a few dollars, ringing up around $5 - $6 for a brick (which, like the bottlerockets, is a cockload). We've dicked around with them for a good while now and are not even half way through the dick with fins. They're simple, yet fun. You light the fuse, quickly throw them, then experience a boom. Or, if you're not a boring son of a bitch, you build sand castles and wire them with explosives...then blow them up. Either way... M-1000's These were not sold @ vendor #1, only @ #2. Thirty-Six pieces cost us $10. The motherfucker that sold them to us claimed that he was told that they could blow a hole in a tree, yet he could not confirm because he didn't tit around with firecrackers...he was an "in state" type of guy. Well, he heard wrong. They're quite a bit stronger than simple firecrackers...but not nearly strong enough to blow a fucking hole in a fucking tree. With that said, they still blow simple firecrackers out of the water. Out of the water enough to pay almost double for a small fraction of the amount? That's your call. They're powerful enough to blow the cap off a sealed gatorabe bottle...but not powerful enough to fuck with an aquafina. Powerful enough to be seen & heard when they explode from the bottom of a pond when it's thrown not too far from the shoreline...but not powerful enough to move more than a few rocks when buried in a pile. We attempted to destroy a foot long bass with one...but the fucker spit it out an instant before he exploded (and, like dumbasses, he put it in and threw him toward the water, thinking he's start swimming away and then be blown apart...leaving us with a good show and no cleanup...instead, he spit it out and swam away...leaving us trying to catch another one for an hour...to no avail). So yeah, they're good... Saturn Missiles These were given to us by the kind folks @ vendor #2. They were pretty pimp for how cheap they are ($2 for a 25 pack @ vendor #1, forget price @ #2...which lasts about 30 seconds). I don't know, they're not bad I guess...but I like fireworks that you can fuck around with a little bit. You can't really do anything cool with these other than watch them... Pimp ass balls...I don't remember their name Tongue or UB, if either of you recall the names of these badasses, feel free to post. These sons of bitches are pimp as hell. They cost us $8 for a 6 pack at Vendor #1, Vendor #2 had the same product for a few dollars more. Basically, they're real fireworks. They're balls that you put in a tube (that comes with the package), and then you light a fuse. It sounds like a cannon coming out, goes sky high, then blows in a boom & shower of sparks. It was loud enough that, after lighting the first one, we heard someone yell "Holy Shit" a few houses down and, a few minutes after we had cleaned up, two cops came patrolling the area to see what the fuck was going on (we set them off @ 11:30 at night...so we probably got called in). Anyway, they're well worth the $8 pricetag. Well fucking worth it. Alright, we had a few pieces of some other shit...but that's basically it. I don't really remember the other stuff well enough to describe or review...so yeah. If you have any experiences of your own with vendors or works, feel free to post them or, if you have any in the future, go ahead. The goal is to make this thread pimp by the 4th so that we can raid the fuckers the following week for the good shit.

07-01-2003, 09:29 AM	#2 (permalink)
Ugly Bastard Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: U.S.A. Posts: 13,643 Internets: 247330	At vendor Number 2, we also received some pimper bottle rockets. I forget what they were called as well, but they gave us three free ones upon checkout. Basically, they're just larger bottle-rockets that are faulty and explode on the ground, and endanger the lives of teenagers, but they're still tight-as-hell for the price we paid for them. Orgazmo did a custardly job of covering the actual fireworks, so I feel no need to go any deeper with that. I would however like to go ahead and say that the firework stand where Gopher Golf Used To Be kicks the ass (rather handily) of the fireworks stand behind Big-Apple Bagel. So patronize the Gopher Golf people if you know what's best for you. But, if you want to see the guy with a patch on his eye (probably because he blew it out with his own merchandise), as Orgazmo mentioned, you should go to the one behind Big Apple Bagels because the manager of that store has a huge-ass band-aid on his eyeball, and it's not bad. One of the other pieces of tinkery that we obtained was a huge-ass bottle-rocket. The "stick" part of the bottle rocket was probably about the size of a thick golf club, and the firecracker part of the bottle-rocket would be about the size of a cob of corn. Alright, so now that you have that image, the idea of this device is to gently stick it in the ground, light it, and watch it go skyward. Well, one or the other of us (namely otnguegina ...you'll have to unscramble his name to find out his real identity) inserted the work too far into the ground, so when he lit it, this seemingly pimp-ass firework started blazing right on the ground (imagine someone lighting off one of those fireworks that you see at the fair, on the ground....then back it off a bit, and you have what I'm talking about). Anywho, it was very pimp to watch this thing blow up on the ground, but I can't even imagine how pimp it would be to watch it blow up in the air. I would recommend picking one up just to see if it's worth the small patch of money you have to pay for it. Have fun. -Ugly Bastard [ July 01, 2003, 07:31 AM: Message edited by: Ugly Bastard ]

07-02-2003, 03:59 PM	#3 (permalink)
Orgazmo COME ON YOU YANKS Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Indiana Posts: 15,733 Internets: 311447	Vendor #3 is set up in the Old Wal-Mart Building. This vendor is like a direct outlet for TnT Brand Fireworks...which is good. They sell shit both big and small...but are aimed more toward those looking to make a big impression on their guests. Their prices are a little high, but they have "orange tag discounts" on certain products that leave them buy one/get one free. This more than compensates for the normally excessive pricetag. The people running it are hillbillies...but nice hillbillies. I liked them. Unfortunately, they are not quite as straight with the customer as Vendor #1's eye patch man was. TnT Festival Balls Are amazing. They're the exact same thing as what was described above "Pimp Ass Balls," but they're TnT. They cost $14.99 for 6 at Vendor #3, but are buy one get one free, leaving you with 12 balls for $15. (A bit of a deal, since they were $8/6 of offbrand @ Vendor #1). Of course, the brand didn't change how cool they were...but that's neither here nor there. Stick of Dynamite This is what it was called at Vendor #1, I forget what it was at Vendor #3, but it's sitting up on the counter right by the guy. The moral of the story is that it's $2.00 and a waste of money. It's basically three packages of firecrackers inside one tube. You light the fuse, throw the tube, and you hear three packages of firecrackers go off independently of one another. Nothing special. Wasted $2.00. That's all I have for this installment. I'd say that this vendor should have very good prices the week following the 4th due to them being a direct outlet for TnT fireworks...but that's just a hunch.

07-03-2003, 01:51 PM	#4 (permalink)
sim_flex_x Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: St. Pete Posts: 690 Internets: 10	Update: the place behind Big Apple Bagel is now the cheapest place in town (that I've found). Apparently the guy who was running it previously (guy with eye patch) had the prices jacked up for no apparent reason (and is no longer employed), so the people who are running it now went through yesterday and fixed all the prices. They're good folk, a little dirty and smelly, but extremely nice, and they have a cool dog. Anyway, the guy was complaining that they sit there for 12 hours everyday (10-10) and hardly anyone comes in, which is why there is now a huge yellow godzilla on top of big apple bagel, so people know they're there. He also wanted me to tell anyone interested that the more you buy the more he can "wheel and deal" with you, he said that about ten times actually... so yeah if you're still looking for fireworks I highly recommend visiting the place behind the bagel joint. I visited the Gopher Golf place and while you do get free stuff if you spend however much money the bagel place is much cheaper. so go, buy, and have yourself a happy 4th

07-03-2003, 04:00 PM	#6 (permalink)
sim_flex_x Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: St. Pete Posts: 690 Internets: 10	well, i think it's the guy with the eye patch :]