The ramblings of a madman. - Nubblies.net Forums

ninjaface · 04-14-2006, 10:57 AM

I Must point out that I have posted a new song - "Omniscient Eye"

What the toaster strudel am I talking about? Well... Put on the song
And While you are listening to the song I want you to read the
Following piece of true Knowledge

Softball cupcakes with empirical data filling

By: ~ I and I Will Survive

Imagine sharks swimming in the air while you throw a suitcase of Twinkies at a wall. and then a sandbag transforms into a man eating flower and sparklers rise up out of the ground and shoot pinwheels at you and so you build a flying machine out of a chocolate Christmas calendar while Santa clause spanks the unicorn hes using to stab a leprechaun in the face whose spewing gold at a man dressed as a cheese grater juggling cupcakes.

Some of the frosting started glowing like the eyes of a miniature cat who was doing cartwheels down an upwards spiral, so as it spun in place the dragon from inside the blade of grass stole the big white chefs hat and began cooking a nice meal of purple eggs made out of play-doh, though the play dough had undergone some nuclear mutation in response to three overweight body builders engaged in the art of performance while a tiger balances a 300 foot chocolate bunny on his unicycle. the unicycle however suffered a traumatic upbringing and was left with only one pedal and a few bent spokes which were then replaced with a redneck from Alabama named George who shot stuffed animals out of a rifle into a wall of carrots.

The carrots, incidentally, were giant Rastafarians with joints made out of pure gold that shoot rainbows out of the end when smoked. One time a 9 volt Duracell battery realized that this rainbow would lead its alkaline body to a world of incessant hammerlocking.

The hammerlock. What a wonderful sport. doglike animals in iridescent tu tu's throwing music boxes in the air for the purpose of watching time reverse into an aerial firework that explodes into the shape of a retro disco party where hipsters with switchblades comb their hair with gigantic blades of light bulbs that grow on a Chea pet shaped like the fat kid in gym class who always got dodge balls pelted at him and went home to his underground lair which was home to 3 middle aged neurons named Al, Jack, and Spicey.

Spicey had been out to the discothque, and Jack decided it would be a good idea to open the magic box. What a shame. If Al had not been currently inside of a refrigerator choreographing the next "diversify your food groups" ad for a kids television show, he wouldve immediately told Jack about the recent display of animosity he had witnessed while spelunking in the red light district of a scruffy bipedal toad who was wearing a beanie. the propeller of the beanie incidentally was made out of Faygo's Redpop soda which was being sprayed at an ICP concert when the clown makeup plotted rebellion against Shaggy 2 Dope because he was stuck in a makeup studio which was really nothing more than a broom closet that had been used by the manic janitors.

The manic janitors...man what a nightmare...if they had known about the Juggalo with the bottle of Redpop they would've broke out into song and dance. This wasn't usually a bad thing, but in this case they decided to spray Styrofoam bubbles out of a fire hose. So much for the souffl. Earl had just opened a can of olives. Boy was he in a state of shock when he realized a giant swordfish began reading his water meter.

That swordfish was no ordinary swordfish. It looked just like a caterpillar. A caterpillar with wings made out of metallic shower curtains that transmuted the chemistry of the water into pure asphalt which was being laid on the very square inch of ground that was actually once a portal to a dimension where seven hundred and eighty two low riders driven by intelligent beings that saw everything in their reality through handlebar moustaches made of garbanzo bean pasta were in pursuit of a mutant garbage can named Charles who had sparked a civil war between the moustaches and can people by calling one of them a "fur face" during a game of poker being played by two young aspiring gamers who did nothing but play counter strike in the basement of a bomb shelter due to the recent raise in price of hair dryers.

usually Charles wouldve kept his mouth shut but he encountered the beauty supply tax while eating a slice of pizza made out of three geriatric pipe cleaners who were playing a game similar to shuffle board. The board was made out of piano keys that randomly spewed snowballs as if it were a packet of ketchup being run over by a mobile magic show where an infantile piece of chalk was being prepared for the big finale.

Now Id tell you about the big finale but first a fish with a monocle has some disappointing news. The finale must remain a secret due to a closet full of dancing gnomes who ultimately control the fate of the jukebox where the worlds supply of ice cream lay hidden. Due to recent speculation, it is imperative to state that there is not in fact 31 flavors in that jukebox, its a single flavor that tastes like a German guy dressed as a hundred feet of geckos which are lining the outside of the entire universe. The gecko lining is really just a molecule of wizard oil which is being used to cook a slice of Spam which will soon be devoured by a gigantic yeti.

The yeti had realized that if he built a snowman out of olives he could step away from the cave of mystery and have a nice meal for once. Unfortunately, the scarecrow grew weary of this life. Just standing around a cave, guarding the jewels, so he decided to make friends with the snowmobile that was hovering 3 feet off the ground looking for pixie dust. Soon enough the scarecrow which was now made out of a few poorly made carnival ride operators and hot glue decided it would be best to join forces with the fairy snowmobile and unveiled the gris gris bag where the pixie dust was stored. He then got onto the snow mobile and threw the pixie dust at a gigantic potato.

This was against the yeti's wishes, but the snowman was wiser than the yeti. The pixie dust set off a chain reaction that caused all conscious entities in sight to transform into a dancing shoe who decided it would be merely amusing to Bogart all the jewels and absconded with them to a hut that hovered in mid air due to its sheer lack of capability to comprehend gravity. The yeti had finished his Spam and decided to go apologize to his only friend for making a piece cherry cobbler into a wallpaper theme in his hideout. When the yeti discovered his missing jewels, he traced the line of events back to a dungeon made out of fortune cookies. The yeti had to make a decision. Use up all the fortunes and free all of the red hair football players or just use what he needed.

One cookie. Just one. Thats all he needed. He pulled a cookie out of the dungeon wall and put it inside of a coffee grinder. The grinder reacted severely to the magic powers it had been given by the cookie that the yeti had now wasted. On the other side of town a genie realized that his favorite cookie had just been used. He knew this because in his very room stood three camels who shot streamers out of their nose whenever they tried to comprehend reality. Soon their habitat was so colorful and full of streamers the yeti crawled into a closed fortune cookie and was trapped for all eternity. Now the streamers began to attract foreigners from all over, until Marquis Stevens showed up. Marquis was actually a bedspring named Clyde. His solid cognation of all that is made the illegitimate ramblings of a billy goat sound like Steven hawking after being administered three hits of acid.

Across town, a lonely sock puppet had decided to merge with Steven hawking at that very moment which resulted in a 24 year old female chocolate bar named Stacy kicking over a can of soup. This wasn't an ordinary can of soup, it immediately turned everything it touched into flames, unless it was the window of a brick wall practicing karate, which it was, This however changed upon the arrival of a fortunate snail who had crawled up the beam of light emitted from inside the grayish clouds emitted from a rectangular robotic motorcycle with the pretense to commit grand mopary of a cheese wheel.

To be continued.

I was thinking through my higher consciousness while standing in my body and I noticed I was looking at myself from the sky

That is the all Seeing Eye
The thinker
The knower
The doer

~ I and I Will Survive

Mr. Blonde · 04-14-2006, 12:59 PM

Hence why I think he's on major drugs.

EDIT: nevermind. I didn't see this:

Quote:

Originally Posted by ninjaface

Word. He has been known to do drugs from time to time, but he is, at the very least, a bit fucked up. To illustrate that point more clearly, I'll post part of a bulletin he made. I'll put it in jibberish.

SittinOnDubsWGW · 04-14-2006, 03:37 PM

is there more to this than what is in this post?

I have no clue who the hell you are talking about.

ninjaface · 04-14-2006, 03:51 PM

The same guy that wrote that story also makes some cool music.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ninjaface

Here is a link to the MySpace Music site for I and Eye Will Survive. I suggest ignoring everything but the music. I also suggest listening to the song "Los Ayahuasqueros"
Enjoy.

Mr. Blonde · 04-20-2006, 11:07 PM

Here is an excerpt from my Sociological Theory book, from George Simmel, Philosopher/Sociologist.

"The existence of these cultural products creates a contradiction with the actors who created them becasue it is an example of the deep estrangement or animosity which exists between organic and creative processes of the soul and it's contents and products: the vibrating, restless life of the creative soul; which develops towards the infinite contrasts with its fixed and ideally unchanging product and its uncanny feedback effect, which arrests and indeed rigifies this liveliness. Frequently it appears as if creative movement of the soul was dying from its own product."

Forgive me if I think this belongs in this thread. I hate this fucking semester. And yes FC, i realize it's probably cake for you to understand this. Not me.

Ugly Bastard · 04-21-2006, 01:36 AM

FC YOU CAKE BITCH!

ninjaface · 04-26-2006, 09:55 PM

I know the author of "Softball cupcakes with empirical data filling" personally. Recently I was told that he had disappeared last saturday and wouldn't answer his cell phone. Two days ago he was found in his car on the side of the road.. in Wyoming. He didn't know who he was, where he was or why he was there. I'm going to assume he either did some crazy drugs that last a few days, or he has completely lost it. As I learn more, I'll update.

ninjaface · 05-02-2006, 08:48 PM

Shortly after I made that post on 04-26-2006, 09:55 PM, I had found out what really happened. He had overdosed on BOTH Adderall and Ecstasy. His mom drove out ther to pick him up and on the way back home, every so often he would look at his mom with a very confused look and ask "Who are you?" She'd say "I'm your mom." Then he would say "oh... ok.. yeah"

Apparently he was checked into a psychiatric center for a few days for detox. One of his other friends told us that he talked to him on the phone. Basically, he had a very strange conversation with him. He said something like "They are gonna help me get better here".

Since then, I hadn't really heard anything. And that is when things get wierd. I got home today from work at around 5 PM and saw that one of my roommates was home. So I tried opening the front door but it was locked. Which I thought was strange. I got my keys out and started unlocking the door, when I glanced over and saw this laying on the driveway (I'll get to how strange that is in a moment). I thought it was odd, but I put it on the table and went upstairs to my room. I saw my roommate's door was closed, so I thought he might be sleeping. So I just went along my way and started some homework. I expected him to come out of his room at really any moment. It was 7PM and I started to wonder why the hell he would be asleep at this hour. But I figured I'd leave him alone for a while longer. So I went downstairs to the kitchen to get something to eat. I glance into the living room and see a phone sitting on the arm of the couch. I see that it is my roommate's phone and he has 4 missed calls. I didn;t think much of it because he is always losing track of his keys and his phone. So I grabbed a snack and went back to my room to finish my homework. Eventually, at around 8 PM, my curiosity got the best of me. So I went and knocked on his door. No answer.. maybe he's in that "just waking up" haze. I knocked again. Still no answer. I said his name and knocked a third time. Nothing. So I open the door to find his room empty. So now I'm wondering where the fuck he is. His truck is here, his cell phone is here, but his shoes are gone. That's when I remember the book. This book is EXACTLY the type of thing that the dude that overdosed on Ecstasy and Adderall would read. So I checked his Myspace to see if he had been on lately. He was on today sometime.

Then, I heard my front door open and someone walk in. I knew it had to be a small female from the steps. It was my roommate's girlfriend. She asked me if I had seen him. I told her I had not, but his truck and phone were still here. She looked like she was dressed somewhat nicely, like they both had plans to go out to eat or something. She was pissed. She went downstairs and checked his phone, then left. Then I called my other roommate to ask if he had seen him. I got his answering machine.

So what does all this mean? Probably nothing. The drug dude was probably released from the psychiatric center and came to see my roommate and somehow dropped his reptilian conspiracy book. They probably went somewhere to hang out and my roommate happened to forget his phone. He probably forgot that he was supposed to go out to eat with his girlfriend. My other roommate is probably too busy working to call me back

But I have to admit that all these things put together are fucking wierd.

ninjaface · 05-02-2006, 09:36 PM

Jesus fuck. I have quite the imagination. My other roommate called me back. Apparently the drug dude is out of rehab and back to normal. He came over, somehow dropped his reptilian conspiracy book, and went somewhere with roommate #1 to hang out. I guess roommate #1 left his phone at home because he spent all of yesterday with his girlfriend and didn't feel like doing the same thing over again today.

I am the rambling madman. Fuck.

04-14-2006, 10:57 AM	#1 (permalink)
ninjaface Level 20 Holothetan Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Space Posts: 5,245 Internets: 210144	The ramblings of a madman. I Must point out that I have posted a new song - "Omniscient Eye" What the toaster strudel am I talking about? Well... Put on the song And While you are listening to the song I want you to read the Following piece of true Knowledge Softball cupcakes with empirical data filling By: ~ I and I Will Survive Imagine sharks swimming in the air while you throw a suitcase of Twinkies at a wall. and then a sandbag transforms into a man eating flower and sparklers rise up out of the ground and shoot pinwheels at you and so you build a flying machine out of a chocolate Christmas calendar while Santa clause spanks the unicorn hes using to stab a leprechaun in the face whose spewing gold at a man dressed as a cheese grater juggling cupcakes. Some of the frosting started glowing like the eyes of a miniature cat who was doing cartwheels down an upwards spiral, so as it spun in place the dragon from inside the blade of grass stole the big white chefs hat and began cooking a nice meal of purple eggs made out of play-doh, though the play dough had undergone some nuclear mutation in response to three overweight body builders engaged in the art of performance while a tiger balances a 300 foot chocolate bunny on his unicycle. the unicycle however suffered a traumatic upbringing and was left with only one pedal and a few bent spokes which were then replaced with a redneck from Alabama named George who shot stuffed animals out of a rifle into a wall of carrots. The carrots, incidentally, were giant Rastafarians with joints made out of pure gold that shoot rainbows out of the end when smoked. One time a 9 volt Duracell battery realized that this rainbow would lead its alkaline body to a world of incessant hammerlocking. The hammerlock. What a wonderful sport. doglike animals in iridescent tu tu's throwing music boxes in the air for the purpose of watching time reverse into an aerial firework that explodes into the shape of a retro disco party where hipsters with switchblades comb their hair with gigantic blades of light bulbs that grow on a Chea pet shaped like the fat kid in gym class who always got dodge balls pelted at him and went home to his underground lair which was home to 3 middle aged neurons named Al, Jack, and Spicey. Spicey had been out to the discothque, and Jack decided it would be a good idea to open the magic box. What a shame. If Al had not been currently inside of a refrigerator choreographing the next "diversify your food groups" ad for a kids television show, he wouldve immediately told Jack about the recent display of animosity he had witnessed while spelunking in the red light district of a scruffy bipedal toad who was wearing a beanie. the propeller of the beanie incidentally was made out of Faygo's Redpop soda which was being sprayed at an ICP concert when the clown makeup plotted rebellion against Shaggy 2 Dope because he was stuck in a makeup studio which was really nothing more than a broom closet that had been used by the manic janitors. The manic janitors...man what a nightmare...if they had known about the Juggalo with the bottle of Redpop they would've broke out into song and dance. This wasn't usually a bad thing, but in this case they decided to spray Styrofoam bubbles out of a fire hose. So much for the souffl. Earl had just opened a can of olives. Boy was he in a state of shock when he realized a giant swordfish began reading his water meter. That swordfish was no ordinary swordfish. It looked just like a caterpillar. A caterpillar with wings made out of metallic shower curtains that transmuted the chemistry of the water into pure asphalt which was being laid on the very square inch of ground that was actually once a portal to a dimension where seven hundred and eighty two low riders driven by intelligent beings that saw everything in their reality through handlebar moustaches made of garbanzo bean pasta were in pursuit of a mutant garbage can named Charles who had sparked a civil war between the moustaches and can people by calling one of them a "fur face" during a game of poker being played by two young aspiring gamers who did nothing but play counter strike in the basement of a bomb shelter due to the recent raise in price of hair dryers. usually Charles wouldve kept his mouth shut but he encountered the beauty supply tax while eating a slice of pizza made out of three geriatric pipe cleaners who were playing a game similar to shuffle board. The board was made out of piano keys that randomly spewed snowballs as if it were a packet of ketchup being run over by a mobile magic show where an infantile piece of chalk was being prepared for the big finale. Now Id tell you about the big finale but first a fish with a monocle has some disappointing news. The finale must remain a secret due to a closet full of dancing gnomes who ultimately control the fate of the jukebox where the worlds supply of ice cream lay hidden. Due to recent speculation, it is imperative to state that there is not in fact 31 flavors in that jukebox, its a single flavor that tastes like a German guy dressed as a hundred feet of geckos which are lining the outside of the entire universe. The gecko lining is really just a molecule of wizard oil which is being used to cook a slice of Spam which will soon be devoured by a gigantic yeti. The yeti had realized that if he built a snowman out of olives he could step away from the cave of mystery and have a nice meal for once. Unfortunately, the scarecrow grew weary of this life. Just standing around a cave, guarding the jewels, so he decided to make friends with the snowmobile that was hovering 3 feet off the ground looking for pixie dust. Soon enough the scarecrow which was now made out of a few poorly made carnival ride operators and hot glue decided it would be best to join forces with the fairy snowmobile and unveiled the gris gris bag where the pixie dust was stored. He then got onto the snow mobile and threw the pixie dust at a gigantic potato. This was against the yeti's wishes, but the snowman was wiser than the yeti. The pixie dust set off a chain reaction that caused all conscious entities in sight to transform into a dancing shoe who decided it would be merely amusing to Bogart all the jewels and absconded with them to a hut that hovered in mid air due to its sheer lack of capability to comprehend gravity. The yeti had finished his Spam and decided to go apologize to his only friend for making a piece cherry cobbler into a wallpaper theme in his hideout. When the yeti discovered his missing jewels, he traced the line of events back to a dungeon made out of fortune cookies. The yeti had to make a decision. Use up all the fortunes and free all of the red hair football players or just use what he needed. One cookie. Just one. Thats all he needed. He pulled a cookie out of the dungeon wall and put it inside of a coffee grinder. The grinder reacted severely to the magic powers it had been given by the cookie that the yeti had now wasted. On the other side of town a genie realized that his favorite cookie had just been used. He knew this because in his very room stood three camels who shot streamers out of their nose whenever they tried to comprehend reality. Soon their habitat was so colorful and full of streamers the yeti crawled into a closed fortune cookie and was trapped for all eternity. Now the streamers began to attract foreigners from all over, until Marquis Stevens showed up. Marquis was actually a bedspring named Clyde. His solid cognation of all that is made the illegitimate ramblings of a billy goat sound like Steven hawking after being administered three hits of acid. Across town, a lonely sock puppet had decided to merge with Steven hawking at that very moment which resulted in a 24 year old female chocolate bar named Stacy kicking over a can of soup. This wasn't an ordinary can of soup, it immediately turned everything it touched into flames, unless it was the window of a brick wall practicing karate, which it was, This however changed upon the arrival of a fortunate snail who had crawled up the beam of light emitted from inside the grayish clouds emitted from a rectangular robotic motorcycle with the pretense to commit grand mopary of a cheese wheel. To be continued. I was thinking through my higher consciousness while standing in my body and I noticed I was looking at myself from the sky That is the all Seeing Eye The thinker The knower The doer ~ I and I Will Survive

04-20-2006, 11:07 PM	#5 (permalink)
Mr. Blonde Spice Master Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 17,969 Internets: 284106	Here is an excerpt from my Sociological Theory book, from George Simmel, Philosopher/Sociologist. "The existence of these cultural products creates a contradiction with the actors who created them becasue it is an example of the deep estrangement or animosity which exists between organic and creative processes of the soul and it's contents and products: the vibrating, restless life of the creative soul; which develops towards the infinite contrasts with its fixed and ideally unchanging product and its uncanny feedback effect, which arrests and indeed rigifies this liveliness. Frequently it appears as if creative movement of the soul was dying from its own product." Forgive me if I think this belongs in this thread. I hate this fucking semester. And yes FC, i realize it's probably cake for you to understand this. Not me.
	Psychedelics are illegal not because a loving government is concerned that you may jump out of a third story window. Psychedelics are illegal because they dissolve opinion structures and culturally laid down models of behavior and information processing. ― Terence McKenna

05-02-2006, 08:48 PM	#8 (permalink)
ninjaface Level 20 Holothetan Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Space Posts: 5,245 Internets: 210144	Shortly after I made that post on 04-26-2006, 09:55 PM, I had found out what really happened. He had overdosed on BOTH Adderall and Ecstasy. His mom drove out ther to pick him up and on the way back home, every so often he would look at his mom with a very confused look and ask "Who are you?" She'd say "I'm your mom." Then he would say "oh... ok.. yeah" Apparently he was checked into a psychiatric center for a few days for detox. One of his other friends told us that he talked to him on the phone. Basically, he had a very strange conversation with him. He said something like "They are gonna help me get better here". Since then, I hadn't really heard anything. And that is when things get wierd. I got home today from work at around 5 PM and saw that one of my roommates was home. So I tried opening the front door but it was locked. Which I thought was strange. I got my keys out and started unlocking the door, when I glanced over and saw this laying on the driveway (I'll get to how strange that is in a moment). I thought it was odd, but I put it on the table and went upstairs to my room. I saw my roommate's door was closed, so I thought he might be sleeping. So I just went along my way and started some homework. I expected him to come out of his room at really any moment. It was 7PM and I started to wonder why the hell he would be asleep at this hour. But I figured I'd leave him alone for a while longer. So I went downstairs to the kitchen to get something to eat. I glance into the living room and see a phone sitting on the arm of the couch. I see that it is my roommate's phone and he has 4 missed calls. I didn;t think much of it because he is always losing track of his keys and his phone. So I grabbed a snack and went back to my room to finish my homework. Eventually, at around 8 PM, my curiosity got the best of me. So I went and knocked on his door. No answer.. maybe he's in that "just waking up" haze. I knocked again. Still no answer. I said his name and knocked a third time. Nothing. So I open the door to find his room empty. So now I'm wondering where the fuck he is. His truck is here, his cell phone is here, but his shoes are gone. That's when I remember the book. This book is EXACTLY the type of thing that the dude that overdosed on Ecstasy and Adderall would read. So I checked his Myspace to see if he had been on lately. He was on today sometime. Then, I heard my front door open and someone walk in. I knew it had to be a small female from the steps. It was my roommate's girlfriend. She asked me if I had seen him. I told her I had not, but his truck and phone were still here. She looked like she was dressed somewhat nicely, like they both had plans to go out to eat or something. She was pissed. She went downstairs and checked his phone, then left. Then I called my other roommate to ask if he had seen him. I got his answering machine. So what does all this mean? Probably nothing. The drug dude was probably released from the psychiatric center and came to see my roommate and somehow dropped his reptilian conspiracy book. They probably went somewhere to hang out and my roommate happened to forget his phone. He probably forgot that he was supposed to go out to eat with his girlfriend. My other roommate is probably too busy working to call me back But I have to admit that all these things put together are fucking wierd.
	Last edited by ninjaface; 05-02-2006 at 09:11 PM.

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04-14-2006, 03:37 PM	#3 (permalink)
SittinOnDubsWGW I make bad decisions. Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: The Desert Posts: 3,018 Internets: 108015	is there more to this than what is in this post? I have no clue who the hell you are talking about.

04-21-2006, 01:36 AM	#6 (permalink)
Ugly Bastard Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: U.S.A. Posts: 13,643 Internets: 247330	FC YOU CAKE BITCH!

04-26-2006, 09:55 PM	#7 (permalink)
ninjaface Level 20 Holothetan Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Space Posts: 5,245 Internets: 210144	I know the author of "Softball cupcakes with empirical data filling" personally. Recently I was told that he had disappeared last saturday and wouldn't answer his cell phone. Two days ago he was found in his car on the side of the road.. in Wyoming. He didn't know who he was, where he was or why he was there. I'm going to assume he either did some crazy drugs that last a few days, or he has completely lost it. As I learn more, I'll update.

05-02-2006, 09:36 PM	#9 (permalink)
ninjaface Level 20 Holothetan Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Space Posts: 5,245 Internets: 210144	Jesus fuck. I have quite the imagination. My other roommate called me back. Apparently the drug dude is out of rehab and back to normal. He came over, somehow dropped his reptilian conspiracy book, and went somewhere with roommate #1 to hang out. I guess roommate #1 left his phone at home because he spent all of yesterday with his girlfriend and didn't feel like doing the same thing over again today. I am the rambling madman. Fuck.