Lion or Aligator
 

Would you rather be killed and eaten by an aligator or a moutain lion?

At first you may think the choice is clear, at least I did. My gut reaction was to go with Moutain Lion because I felt the claws could be used to rip your throat out rather quickly, thus eliminating the pain quickly.

Then I got to thinking how a house cat kills things, very slowly. Cats seem to play with their prey before finishing it off. Now I'm not an expert on mountain lions, but I would assume they exhibit characteristics similar to the house cat.

At the same time, the aligator has nothing but super strong jaws and a fuck load of teeth, which just seems to be a bad way to go. Also, the aligator utilizes the "death roll" which it uses to rip apendages from the body. Now, this would probably be a good thing if it got you by the head, but it would likely get you by the legs first, so it would rip your god damn leg off, and who knows how long it would eat on your until you died.

After much consideration, I believe my initial conclusion was the best. I'd choose the mountain lion.

Lol you spelled alligator wrong, dooshbag.

Jesus fucking Christ almighty, I forgot a fucking L. Please sir, do go back to licking the butt sweat out from your gay motorcycle riding partner's buttcrack.

It's going to be difficult for you get respect around here if you spell like a doosh.

I'm pretty sure I could handle myself against a mountain lion. An alligator would obviously kill me, though.

I choose Mountain Lion.

ID, my good sir, I need your respect like I need genital warts from a street hooker.

Which I don't need because I already have them.

You never answered the fucking question either.

God dammit who told him? faggots.

mountain lion because I could cuddle him while he ate me.

You would stand a much better chance against an alligator, all you have to do is hold its mouth shut and hold on while it rolls around for a few minutes, the mountain lion is like a giant pissed version of a house cut that is sick of having its belly rubbed.

I didn't realize they were over 100lbs.

I still feel like I could handle one given a gallon a catnip. Can I have catnip in this fight?

Nice try.

If any of you have ever seen a moutain lion in real life, I'm sure you can attest to the fact that they are bad asses. Personally, I do not believe that a mortal man could take a mountain lion without the aid of weaponry, excluding myself for obvious reasons (i.e. I'm God).

When I first created this thread, I had assumed that death was imminent, and the only choice was which creature would you rather fall to. However, if the concept of survival is now entered into the equation, this could lead to different conclusions.

First, if weapons are permitted, I don't think it really matters. A fully grown male human will win in both scenarios, even if the weapon is only a blunt instrument such as a bat. If weaponry is not permitted, but the use of distraction tools is permitted, then the outcome could vary depending on what was used. In the case of catnip, I really have no idea what would happen. I would assume that if the cougar was starving, it would have no effect.

The last thing I think deserves consideration is the terrain in which the battle is fought. This is especially true if running away is an option. On land, I would be much more apt to fight the alligator. Although extremely fast on land, everyone knows running in an S pattern slows them down significantly. However cougars are fast as fuck on land, and they can jump like NBA niggers. If the battle were to take place in water, I would sure as fuck not want to fight the alligator, that's his home turf. Few things worse come to mind when thinking about being eaten alive by an alligator while tredding water. Also, the cougar is likely to not to even jump in the water after you.

In closing, if I had a weapon and the battle was on land, I would choose the alligator. If the battle were in water, I would choose the mountain lion.

On a sidenote, when I refer to a "cougar" I'm talking about a mountain lion, not an attractive mature woman.

Mountain Lion.... Gators also take their prey underwater to drown them. One of the last ways I'd prefer dying would to be a mere few feet under the water drowning in the jaws of a gator.

Mountain Lion

I got so excited when I read this.

Did you get an erection? Thanks for letting us know about that f3lix.

Are you still jerking off to Ron Paul while blowing hard on the tuba? When can we expect to see your name on the sheriff ballot again? Do you still like dudes?

f3lix its been so long I need to know these things damnit!

DH, if you didn't leave like a little bitch, you'd understand why I got excited. But you left. You tucked your balls between your legs and left. You left nubblies fuck you in the ass on the way out. Why have you come back for more? Are you a grown up now? Can you handle some criticism and move on? Or are you that same little bitch that weights 135 pounds and just needs a mixing bowl to cut your hair?

I can take anything coming from a fat nerdy faggot pussy bitch like you any day of the week. Where you get your ego from I don't know. You're probably a huge bitch in real life. Oh wait, yes I know you are. Remember when you played for the Nubblites basketball team at Ball State and everyone on the team hated you so much that we paid you not to show up anymore? Haha, god that was funny.

Why don't you go find that thread and see how you don't recall the events correctly.

I don't have to look the thread up you silly bastard. I was a part of it all. We even talked about lynching you one time after a game.

And you didn't see me getting in a tizzy and leaving Nubblies, did you? More proof that you're a bitch, who sucks at basketball.

Never claimed that I was good at basketball. I'm not very good at shooting or dribbling the ball. Obviously why I scored hardly any points. I was playing on an intermual team and not the Ball State team because of my lack of talent.

I am very fast though and because of this I was able to pick up quite a few steals during the season. Also despite my size disadvantage, I grabbed a decent amount of rebounds. I did this all while managing to have fun which was the whole point in playing. I also recall the first game you didnt show up to we got our first victory. We went on to end the season at .500.

None of which involves Alligators or Mountain Lions.