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Unread 11-16-2005, 01:35 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Today was the last day to turn in submissions for loans to go into processing that will close this month/ No thanks to ur my bitch,m I did god damned well this month if I dp say sp ,yself. The old Ironic Mustache would never brag about thie amount of moiney he made, because he never made any. Therefore since I'm turning ofver a new leaf, I shall not mention money in any post here on out unless specifically asked about it.

"Well then," you may asking yourrself, "what the fuck is this thread all abpout then?"

Thank you for asking yourself.

If I may be so bold as to answer for yourself, allow me to =... do so.

I had begun the evening with friends drinking and being merry. In the spirit opf old ironic, i've drank a ton of vodka from the bottle and have gone to the bars. You may also notice that it s only 7ish in califprnia as I type yhis. A full evening has been accomplished in the hour and 20 minutes i'vr spent since work ended.

I arrived promprtly afte5r work with a friend of mine at the local bar no tbut 3 blocks frmo my house. A perfect place to begin my debauchery. I'll skip to the part where I've had to much to drink right now.

(20 minutes and 8 consecutive shots later ,making me the offical sacramento tequilashot taking champiopn.)s

So, where waws I>

Oh yes, we then began to drink screw drivers. About half way through the pouring of my very first screwdriver, I grab the bottle from the bar tender's hands and begin swigging.

He grabs it back and looks at ,e incredulously, (sorry, I had to stop. incredulously???? Im able to spell incredulously right now? fucking crimany)

anyway, incredulously and says, "are you out of your fucking mind?!??! Someone get this fucker away from my bar!"

in my defensse, I don't see what the problem was, I had planned on tipping well...

To which a bouncer responds quickly.

If I ever were to be physically cartoon style thrown out of a bar by the back of my belt loop, this would resemble it most closely. Down the stairs I rolled, out onto the sidewalk of 29th and E, into the loving arms of a police offcer. Good god I'd never been happier tp see a pig in my life. I tried telling him so, but he seemed immune to my pleadings to arrest the roughians what had accosted me post haste! Instead he stuffed me into the back of his patrol car and gave me a ride the 3-4 vlocks home. Upon arrival, he dropped me off on the porch, made sure I had my keys, and declined my offer to "do this again some time."

In reflection, he was a pretty clool cat, considering my more than buzzed current demanor. I'm not sure where my care is, but I asusme at the bar. I'm planning on getting it tomorrw, but who knows? Ironic mustache of old would never back down from such a challenge. 3 cheers for ,me, bitches. I'm back!

Creeping around as I please nonchalantly like any other Supreme Emperor might.
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Unread 11-16-2005, 01:42 AM   #2 (permalink)
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welcome back wayne... you were missed

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Unread 11-16-2005, 01:49 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Spaeking of which, I called repug, to no avail. Where is that albino nigger at anywa.y?

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Unread 11-16-2005, 01:51 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Telling the cop you should "do this again sometime" is fucking great.
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Unread 11-16-2005, 02:05 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Ironic mustache has miraculously retrieved his car from the clutches of the "Pine Cove" parking lot. It looks as though I still got the old days of thunder in me.

Creeping around as I please nonchalantly like any other Supreme Emperor might.
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Unread 11-16-2005, 02:26 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Congrats!
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Unread 11-16-2005, 02:35 AM   #7 (permalink)
G'd up from the feet up.
 
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Hoo-rah .

Creeping around as I please nonchalantly like any other Supreme Emperor might.
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Unread 11-16-2005, 02:46 PM   #8 (permalink)
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This story makes my heart soar like an eagle.
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Unread 11-17-2005, 04:01 AM   #9 (permalink)
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friends of bill w could help you

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Unread 11-17-2005, 12:41 PM   #10 (permalink)
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make that $$ G

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jiu-jitsu isn't the hardass frat guy yelling at you to funnel a beer. its the laid back guy in the corner workin' on 2 chicks.
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