Dear Diary,
Had I known what was about to transpire I would have never complained about staying under that bridge. Just as I was writing a street gang known as the A.S.B.R. or Angry school boy rejects invaded my humble turf. I had heard stories from my class mates about them. Word is they are boys who's parents could no longer afford private school so they were forced to go to public. Their violence against proper school boys such as myself is legendary, and as they walked up my heart was filled with fear. The leader of the gang is a roughian named Filipe, a short and chubby chap with a chocolate stain on his peasant like shirt. His eyes were small and beady, like a pig. Fitting.
Filipe: Well well well chaps look what we have here, a lil school boy who's lost his way home!
His thugs all laughed.
Filipe: What's the matter lil school boy? Cant find your mommy?
Francis: I'll have you know that my father is one of the most powerful men in England, and if you so much as touch me my father will have you ninnies thrown into juvey!
Filipe: Is that so? Well then looks like we cant be letting you go anywhere, doesn't it?
Francis: I'm not going anywhere, you and your massive bubble butt are.
His rounded pink face began to turn a shade of red I have only seen on the strawberries father and I pick up in Yorksdale every summer.
Filipe: Why you sniveling little shit! I have a bubble butt do I? Well I hope you like bubbles because you're going to be servicing mine for the rest of your miserable little life. With your tongue! Pepe! Blindfold him and take him to our lair!
The next thing I knew diary I was blind folded and tied up. I felt them carrying me for what seemed like hours until finally they removed the blind fold...And here I am. Underground somewhere, a cellar maybe. It smells like rotten kitty litter and smegma. I know just any minute Filipe will burst through those doors and have his way with me, but as long as I struggle then it's really not a betrayl of my love for father. Father...Oh how I miss you. If only Ferdinan had'nt come...What am I going to do now diary? What am I going to do?
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