Mario Balotelli, living legend - Nubblies.net Forums

Beebs · 10-24-2011, 05:31 PM

If you are not acquainted with Mario Balotelli, you need to be.

Let's go over his past week:

Saturday - set off fireworks inside rented mansion, burn entire floor. Run back in for large pile of money and suitcase.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2...fire-fireworks

Sunday - Score 2 goals for Manchester City against Manchester United in a record breaking 6-1 win. Reveal t-shirt that says "Why always me?"

Monday - become spokesman for firework safety campaign. http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2...reworks-safety

Previous exploits include:
Answering a cop who asked why he had £5,000 in his pocket with "Because I'm rich"

Throwing darts at youth team players.

Solving some random kids bullying problem.

Being fucking amazing:

Mario Balotelli Tribute - YouTube

Mario Balotelli I'm ill - YouTube

Losing a fight to a bib.

Balotelli Bib Fail - YouTube

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/b...ario-balotelli

Quote:

Oh Balotelli he's a striker…
He's good at darts(1)/
He's allergic to grass (2) but when he plays/ He's fucking class.
Drives round Moss Side/ with a wallet full of cash(3)/
Can't put on his vest (4)/ But when he does he is the best
Goes into schools (5)/ Tells teachers all the rules
Sets fire to his gaff (6)/ With rockets from his bath
Doesn't give a fuck/ Cos he did it for a laugh
Runs back to his house (7)/ For a suitcase full of cash
Oh Balotelli …

1) In March 2011, Balotelli threw at least one dart in the direction of youth-team players at the club's Carrington training academy. Nobody was hurt. It was a prank.

2) In March 2011, a busy month in Balotelli's blossoming career, it was alleged, probably untruthfully, that he was allergic to grass after suffering such a severe reaction against Dynamo Kyiv that he had to be substituted with a swollen face.

3) In September 2010 police revealed that Balotelli was found with £5,000 in his pocket after smashing his car. He has been known to hand wads of money to homeless people.

4) In March 2011 Balotelli had an astonishing fight with his vest. The vest won.

5) In May 2011 it was revealed that Balotelli took a truanting boy back to school to give bullies and teachers a ticking off.

6) Last week's fireworks were not attempted arson, just a premature bonfire-lnight practice gone wrong.

7) Reports suggested that the striker ran back to save both cash and the suitcase but the suitcase full of cash sounds more Balotelli.

Orgazmo · 10-24-2011, 07:38 PM

Twitter

angry pancake · 10-24-2011, 09:09 PM

I seriously was wondering why you were posting about the fat long haired guy from the cooking channel in the sports forum. Shows how little I know about soccer.....and the cooking channel. Fireworks guy sounds more interesting than Italian food guy though.

THEINCREDIBLEdork · 10-24-2011, 11:07 PM

Highlights are pretty badass. but honestly, he's not really that special. He's a negro. I didn't see any negros in those highlight videos except for him. Once more negros start playing soccer it will change the game forever.

Orgazmo · 10-24-2011, 11:17 PM

He's also the guy that did this:

Funny Mario Balotelli Failed Trick shot - Mancini Takes Him Off The Pitch - Funny Football Miss - YouTube

DJ FC · 10-25-2011, 12:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Mistoffelees

Highlights are pretty badass. but honestly, he's not really that special. He's a negro. I didn't see any negros in those highlight videos except for him. Once more negros start playing soccer it will change the game forever.

I feel like this is some sort a half-troll?

Samuel Eto'o 2011 - Goals & Skills HD - YouTube

Didier Drogba 2010-2011 - Skills Goals - by Maks - YouTube

Beebs · 10-25-2011, 01:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Mistoffelees

Highlights are pretty badass. but honestly, he's not really that special. He's a negro. I didn't see any negros in those highlight videos except for him. Once more negros start playing soccer it will change the game forever.

You actually stumbled on an interesting point; Balotelli was born to Ghanian immigrants in Italy, but raised by an adoptive Italian family, so he was raised as a European. He suffered through some pretty terrible racist shit at games as a teenager in Italy.

Ugly Bastard · 10-25-2011, 02:14 AM

That's probably why he's so good. Oppressed people are the best.

Beebs · 10-25-2011, 09:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ugly Bastard

That's probably why he's so good. Oppressed people are the best.

Well, oppressed is a bit of a stretch, he grew up in the academy of Inter Milan, one of the biggest and richest clubs in the world, since he was a pre-teen, and earned generational wealth before he was 20.

Beebs · 10-26-2011, 10:59 AM

Goes to store with hottie girlfriend, checks out some porn.

Gives a mime £20

Just your average tuesday.

THEINCREDIBLEdork · 10-26-2011, 09:33 PM

You wanna get off this guys nuts for just one second?

Beebs · 10-26-2011, 10:02 PM

Absolutely not.

thekremlin · 11-03-2011, 10:30 AM

Summarizes pretty much exactly as Beebs did:
Brian Phillips on Manchester City's Mario Balotelli - Grantland
Also:
WHY ALWAYS ME? T-SHIRT - Mario Balotelli Manchester City MCFC - Sizes S-XXXL | eBay

Beebs · 11-08-2011, 06:02 PM

Great summary as he gets inducted into the "Crazy Sportsman Hall of Fame"
Preview: he broke into a womens prison to have a look around.

The Bugle - Mario Balotelli - YouTube

Beebs · 11-10-2011, 05:43 PM

Mario Balotelli gives evidence in Italian Mafia case | Mail Online

"I saw a table full of drugs"

Ugly Bastard · 01-13-2012, 12:36 AM

Mario Balotelli makes surprise school visit to use bathroom | Dirty Tackle - Yahoo! Sports

Beebs · 01-23-2012, 05:21 PM

He just can't help himself.

Stamps on Scott Parkers head, got away with it at the time, likely to be banned for a few games now.

Wins and converts penalty in injury time. With extra swagger, obviously.

Man city v tottenham balotelli penalty - YouTube

Ugly Bastard · 01-23-2012, 09:55 PM

What an obnoxious bastard. God I love him.

Beebs · 01-23-2012, 10:33 PM

I can never quite tell if he knows just how ridiculous he is; i lean towards "yes".

BigDongedHoe · 01-23-2012, 10:33 PM

This is one of my new favorite people, what a great thread!

DJ FC · 01-24-2012, 12:47 AM

Horrific.

Beebs · 07-25-2012, 11:38 PM

Continues to be too ridiculous to keep up with.

Mario Balotelli: "Sky's The Limit" - EURO 2012 - HD - YouTube

Also, outdoing the hype on the field, he is in the very elite in the game in terms of raw talent, a physical fucking specimen, and one of a very small number of true strikers you could call the best.

Ugly Bastard · 01-03-2013, 01:47 PM

Picture :: Mario Balotelli Now Has A Camouflage Bentley Continental GT | TheOriginalWinger

Orgazmo · 01-03-2013, 02:39 PM

An here's a picture of him getting into it today:

just after getting into a scuffle with Roberto Mancini, the Man City manager:

Lifted from the end of that article:

Quote:

Originally Posted by That Article

CAR CRASH (August 2010)
Just days after signing for City, Balotelli hits the headlines after crashing his Audi R8 en route to the club's training ground. Balotelli is found to be carrying £5,000 in cash at the time of the accident and when police ask why, he reportedly replies: "Because I am rich."

FIRST RED CARD (November 2010)
Balotelli scores his first Premier League goals in a 2-0 win at West Brom but the achievement is marred when he sees red following a clash with Youssouf Mulumbu.

WILSHERE SNUB (December 2010)
City boss Roberto Mancini says Balotelli must change his attitude following his claims he had never heard of Jack Wilshere after beating the Arsenal midfielder to FIFA's Young Player of the Year award.

DART-THROWING INCIDENT (March 2011)
Balotelli again hits trouble after it emerges he threw a dart at a City youth team player. No one was hurt in the incident and he escapes punishment.

SECOND RED CARD (March 2011)
Balotelli apologises to his team-mates after he is sent off during a Europa League tie with Dynamo Kiev for a reckless challenge on Goran Popov.

BACK-HEEL BLUNDER (July 2011)
Balotelli is immediately substituted by an enraged Mancini after performing a pirouette and back-heeling wide when clean through on goal in a pre-season friendly against the Los Angeles Galaxy.

FIREWORK INCIDENT (October 2011)
The Italian has another run-in with the emergency services after a firework is set off in the bathroom of his home, triggering a fire. The next day, he scores in the Manchester derby and celebrates by revealing a T-shirt which reads: "Why always me?"

THIRD RED CARD (November 2011)
The third red card of Balotelli's City career arrives in a league match against Liverpool, the 21-year-old dismissed for two yellow cards.

BREAKING CURFEW (December 2011)
Balotelli breaks a club 48-hour curfew by visiting a curry house ahead of a match against Chelsea.

RICHARDS CLASH (December 2011)
Just days after Balotelli's curfew lapse, he again attracts negative headlines after pictures emerge of a training-ground bust-up with team-mate Micah Richards.

PARKER CLASH (January 2012)
Balotelli was charged with violent conduct by the Football Association, and subsequently handed a four-match ban, after appearing to stamp on the head of Tottenham's Scott Parker during a Premier League match.

INTER PRESS CONFERENCE (March 2012)
Balotelli gatecrashes the press conference to announce the appointment of Andrea Stramaccioni as Inter Milan's new coach.

FOURTH RED CARD (April 2012)
Balotelli sees red for two bookable challenges on Arsenal full-back Bacary Sagna. Also guilty of a shocking first half knee-high challenge on Gunners midfielder Alex Song.

Beebs · 01-03-2013, 03:08 PM

Mancini and Balotelli couldn't possibly be any more Italian.

10-24-2011, 11:07 PM	#4 (permalink)
THEINCREDIBLEdork Emperor Meow Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 9,350 Internets: 290966	Highlights are pretty badass. but honestly, he's not really that special. He's a negro. I didn't see any negros in those highlight videos except for him. Once more negros start playing soccer it will change the game forever.
	#YOLO

10-26-2011, 09:33 PM	#11 (permalink)
THEINCREDIBLEdork Emperor Meow Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 9,350 Internets: 290966	You wanna get off this guys nuts for just one second?
	#YOLO

01-23-2012, 10:33 PM	#20 (permalink)
BigDongedHoe Sex Kitten Milf fuuucck Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Denver, CO Posts: 3,704 Internets: 55974	This is one of my new favorite people, what a great thread!
	There's life and then there is Cubs baseball, it's a chore to seperate the two.

01-24-2012, 12:47 AM	#21 (permalink)
DJ FC MURICAN Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Virginia Posts: 5,136 Internets: 253094	Horrific.
	The basis of our governments being the opinion of the people, the very first object should be to keep that right; and were it left to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers, or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter. But I should mean that every man should receive those papers and be capable of reading them.

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10-26-2011, 10:59 AM	#10 (permalink)
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11-10-2011, 05:43 PM	#15 (permalink)
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01-23-2012, 09:55 PM	#18 (permalink)
Ugly Bastard Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: U.S.A. Posts: 13,643 Internets: 247330	What an obnoxious bastard. God I love him.

01-23-2012, 10:33 PM	#19 (permalink)
Beebs Poor Sport Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Indianapolis / Middlebury / Long Lake Posts: 5,306 Internets: 127341	I can never quite tell if he knows just how ridiculous he is; i lean towards "yes".

01-03-2013, 01:47 PM	#23 (permalink)
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01-03-2013, 03:08 PM	#25 (permalink)
Beebs Poor Sport Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Indianapolis / Middlebury / Long Lake Posts: 5,306 Internets: 127341	Mancini and Balotelli couldn't possibly be any more Italian.