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Old 06-02-2003, 09:53 AM   #1 (permalink)
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This thing is really starting to piss me off, I'm sitting here at work, listening to all of the old hags that sit near me, talk about their overwhelming fascination with the Atkins Diet.

I fucking hate the Atkins Diet.

You should hear some of the things these women are saying:

Quote:
I can't have bread or potatoes, or fruits or vegetables...but I don't really mind
If you can't have bread, potatoes, or fruit; what the fuck are you supposed to eat?

I'll tell you what the fuck they're supposed to eat: Meat. The whole concept of the Atkins Diet is cutting down on the amount of carbohydrates you eat. Let me give you a quick over-view of what this is trying to accomplish (if I'm punchy on some of the details, I apologize...I'm not an expert, but I know a thing or two, so bear with me).

-------------------------

The driving force behind the Atkins Diet is to "Not Eat Many Carbs". Why is this? Because when you do not exercise carbs basically play the same role that fat does, and it sticks to your body. This is what is wrong with America today, we are so lazy as a country, that some dead-ass doctor is still making millions of dollars because he has found a way that fatasses can eat, and not have to work out.

That's what the whole glamour of this diet is; as long as you don't eat carbs, you don't have to burn carbs, therefore, you can just sit on your ass all day, and lose weight.

Sounds nice, right?

Wrong Motherfucker.

Here is what's wrong with the Atkins Diet:

During the first two weeks of the diet (called the "induction" phase), you are only allowed up to 20 grams of carbohydrates per day (for those of you who aren't too smart, one can of coke has more than 20 carbs). But you are allowed to eat as many fats as you wish, in fact, you are encouraged to eat as much meat, eggs, butter, olive oil, and mayonnaise as you wish. Is it just me? Or does this diet sound like a heart-attack waiting to happen?

Some of the main problems of "not eating carbs" that your body will face, include; muscle breakdown, dehydration, headaches, nausea, and kidney problems. Sounds fun...right?

Wrong again motherfucker.

The American Heart Association says that most of the weight loss that occurs from the Atkins Diet is just "water weight". Basically, this means...once you stop the diet, you're going to become a fat-ass again really quickly, and all you'll have to show for it, is an increased risk of heart disease.

From what I see, the Atkins Diet is nothing more than an excuse for fatasses to continue being fatasses, and not feel bad about it. These women, as I type this right now, are sitting at their cubicles eating a plate-full of bacon and eggs. They're praising each other, I shit you not, fucking praising each other, for not dipping toast in their egg yolk. Why? Because toast has carbs in it. God these women are so pathetic....

With the Atkins Diet, all it does is restrict the fatasses, and give them excuses for never having to eat decent stuff like fruits and vegetables again. Sure, they're probably too lazy to care about eating fruits and vegetables anyway...but for the love of God, don't give them an excuse not to.

This country is so God-damned stupid. Seriously, fuck this rant, I'm just venting right now. I'm just so pissed at sitting here, watching these bitches in my cube come back from McDonalds with four Big Macs each, then watching them pick the bread and tomato off, just eat the meat and cheese, and then think they're going to lose weight? McDonald's is fucking shit. It doesn't take much common sense to know that my picking the healthiest part of Big Macs off (bread and veggies), you're not helping your fat-ass get smaller.

I am so glad that Atkins asshole is dead. I only wish he could have died via means of heart attack or kidney failure just so his death could be a testament to what a scam his diet is.

God I hate stupid people....I hate sitting here at work knowing that I am smarter than everyone of the 40+ year old ladies around me. I hate having to correct their emails that they're sending to execs because they're too damn stupid to proofread; I hate having to hold in my contempt for society every time they start raving about how wonderful the Atkins Diet is. Well guess what, I'm no longer holding in my contempt, I'm letting this tool I call "Nubblies" be a means of venting for me. And guess what else? The Atkins Diet is going to kill all of your fat-asses, and I can't wait, 'cause then I won't have to listen to you bitches do what you do best....bitch.

What's that? You lost six pounds on the Atkins Diet? Congratu-fucking-lations...enjoy the heart attack.

Fuck this...I'm done.

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Old 06-08-2003, 01:44 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Why Don't you challenge Dr. Atkins to an OST.

Who really gives a fuck? There is no diet that is proven to work for everyone. A lot of people seem to have had success with the Atkin diet. If it works for them, then why question it?

[ June 08, 2003, 01:09 PM: Message edited by: ProfessorNumber ]

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Old 06-08-2003, 04:04 PM   #3 (permalink)
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The Atkins diet from what i've read here and heard from tv is about the dumbest thing in the world. If it works in the short run great, but UB is right, there is no chance that it is much of a safe thing to subject your body to. That may cut the carbs being introduced to your body, but you'd have to imagine that the saturated fats would stack up into something very definable as a pot belly (if you don't have one already).
I've got some advice you can pass on to those bitches at work. Crack. Not cocaine, just good old crack. They need to smoke it, and lots of it. Not only will they get amazing 5 minute buzzes, utilize money that i'm sure they are wasting on fat pills and diet planner books, but they'll also lose an amazing amount of weight! Maybe they should try it (then they'll get fired for showing up to work high, and then you won't have to deal with them anyway!) Either way it's a winning situation.

[ June 08, 2003, 02:07 PM: Message edited by: Alpha ]

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Old 06-09-2003, 12:38 AM   #4 (permalink)
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ProfessorNumber, see this?


Yeah, that's for you...

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Old 06-09-2003, 07:05 PM   #5 (permalink)
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that is a heart attack wait to happen and its gay as fuck

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Old 06-10-2003, 05:10 PM   #6 (permalink)
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UB, a lot of what you said about the atkins diet is true, but not all of it. It is not really a bad diet as long as you're not a dumbass. You can't eat many carbohydrates, which cuts out any sort of sweets since sugar is the prime source for simple carbs, but you can eat meat and vegetables which aren't terrible for you.

You do have to be careful when on the Atkins diet because dehydration comes very easily from not eating carbs because your body won't hold water very well. It is recommended to have a small glass of water about every 15-30 minutes.

The Atkins diet does work if you utilize it properly, but most people don't, which is why is just messes them up. Of course those fat bitches aren't going to lose any weight if they eat McDonald's Big Macs and shit like that. If they really wanted to lose weight, they would eat meats and vegetables. The weight loss does not always come from water. You will lose weight if you start becoming dehydrated, but as long as you drink enough water, that won't even effect your weight.

You have some valid arguments UB, but the Atkin's diet can work if those fat bitches would use it how it is supposed to be used.

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Old 06-10-2003, 06:47 PM   #7 (permalink)
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That's a thing that I hate about alot of fucking diets. How people say they're on one, AND THEY DON'T REALIZE THAT THEY'RE NOT EVEN DOING THE STUFF IN THE DIET. Meaning, they'd take the Atkins diet and say 'well, that means all I have to eat is meat'. WRONG FUCKER.

They hear about it from everyone, and don't do any other type of research, just do whatever they're friends are doing, and ruining their bodies. Fucking pisses me off.

Another thing:

Quote:
You do have to be careful when on the Atkins diet because dehydration comes very easily from not eating carbs because your body won't hold water very well. It is recommended to have a small glass of water about every 15-30 minutes.
FUCK THAT.

That has to seriously be the stupidest thing I have ever heard. I have to drink a small glass of water every 15-30 minutes in order to effectively use the Atkin's diet?

WHY CAN'T PEOPLE JUST REALIZE THAT IN ORDER TO LOSE WEIGHT, YOU HAVE TO PUT SOME WORK INTO IT. I fucking hate fat people that decide to go on diets and don't even think about going to the gym in order to lose their fucking weight.

Here's an idea for America. Instead of having to use 'lose weight AND FAST' idea, how about wekeep in good shape BEFORE we get to the stage where we need to use stupid diets like these.

UB, wonderful post. Wonderful I say.
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Old 06-16-2003, 07:29 PM   #8 (permalink)
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get off ur lazy arse and work out

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Old 06-17-2003, 05:18 AM   #9 (permalink)
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I can't believe that this fucking Atkins guy thinks he has the right to flourish off of lazy Americans. If I ever get fat that man isn't getting a cent of my money. I'll just get up off my ass and do some jogging or something

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Old 06-17-2003, 03:35 PM   #10 (permalink)
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that man is DEAD

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Old 06-17-2003, 05:57 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Kinda like the people who used the Atkin's diet for too long

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Old 06-17-2003, 10:07 PM   #12 (permalink)
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these people will get skinnier than me!!!
Thats sad!!!!
Fruitacious B, u know what i look like u can back me up on this...

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Old 06-18-2003, 12:45 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Man, that can't be healthy to get THAT skinny

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Old 06-18-2003, 04:13 AM   #14 (permalink)
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That's not possible silver, just not possible. They'll get skinny, just not that skinny, its not possible.

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Old 06-19-2003, 01:52 AM   #15 (permalink)
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I find it pretty ironic that Atkins died from complications of a fall he took (if i'm not mistaken, at his house). He was 72, and in great health i'm sure... But if there is a lesson to learn it's "eat that fucking food, you never know when you're gone, might as well enjoy life now."
that or "Watch your step."
you choose! haha

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Old 06-19-2003, 02:22 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Somebody's done their homework, nice Alpha.

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Old 06-19-2003, 02:35 AM   #17 (permalink)
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It wasn't that hard at all, you'd be suprised at how many Dr. Atkins memorial pages there are. Not to mention some odd sites saying he was a satanist...

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