Heckling is an art form. I've heard some of the worst heckling in more recent times. Guys saying the same thing over and over again. Guys going with the old, "you suck" stuff for 15 minutes straight. In order to become a great heckler, you have to follow some simple guidelines that I've put together.
1. Be prepared- The internet has made this a very easy thing to do now and days. Find out some stats that are less then appealing to a said player. Also, find a little bit outside of his on the field/court situation to throw into the mix. With some skillful searching, some players throw pet names on bios, or even talk about their favorite hobbies outside of sports. I remember hammering a guy at a Cubs game and used his dogs name and told him he would even be disappointed. Cash money to an extreme extent.
2. Drink, but only to creativity- Normally, when I'm on my drunken climb, I'm at my most creative. I'm not afraid to say anything, but also cautious of what I say. The worst is a heckle call out that falls on silence. It's going to happen, but as long as it happens sparingly, then all is well. You don't want to have to think of something great to say, only to have it run through your head 3 times and come out stuttering because you were afraid to deliver. If your personality strikes most people as funny, normally you can be spot on.
3. Have some knowledge about the sport- The worst thing in sports is someone talking about a sport, or yelling at players, and they have no clue what they are talking about. " Sosa, you only have 4 points the whole season ya bum." Dude, get out of the bleachers, and head to the jazz bar down the street. Knowledge is power when it comes to insulting a player.
4. If you get a reaction, you win- Normally, a heckler gets zero reaction from the players they are yelling at. That's because they aren't any good. Even the Red Mamba reacted to a guy screaming his name. Was it great heckling, not really, but it was great timing. I've found that hockey players are by far the most undisciplined people when it comes to them getting razzed. I've had players moved on the bench because their entire focus was on me explaining their last shift and how awful they were. Baseball players love a great heckler, due to their sport being boring as shit the majority of the time. I had Pat the flying Burrell so turned inside out during a Cubs game that he was actually facing me during a pitch to the plate. That was my first experience in the bleachers, and it was a great one.
5. Don't mistake heckling for yelling- At Wrigley, it's tough to get your point across without screaming it. At hockey games, seating position that allows you to talk at a lower tone, will get your better reactions. Asking an older player if there is enough flex-all in the lockerroom for his tired, old ass body while taking the ice for the 2nd overtime was a winner. Two cups of water later, and the sheriff wants to arrest players for assult with h20. That leads me to number 6 and it's the most important one.
6. If you are going to heckle, don't whine when there are consequences- I've had guys take hockey sticks and tell me they were going to assault me. Water dumped on me. Escorted out by police for being falsely accused of numerous things during one game. I've had the girl I was with have some things said to her that probably shouldn't be said around children. It's all fair game when you put yourself out there, so don't be surprised that a player takes some shots back at you.
7. Make sure the people around you are having fun- You can tell if the people around you are enjoying what you are doing pretty soon. The first time that I heckled down low at a hockey game, my seats were by 3 older women. After the first period, they told me that I was the most respectful, yet effective heckler they had ever seen. They begged me to lockdown those 2 seats as my season ticket seats. If you please the crowd and get player reactions while working, you are extremely successful.
Off topic- I'm really starting to think about trying to start up a sports blog. There is no reason that the amount of time I spend watching, there is no reason not to put my time to good use. I don't want to specialize in any sport, but would like to touch the majority of them, that are popular in this country. Obviously, adding smoking hot chicks, and stupid people doing stupid things would bring a few non sports fans in.
I even like the format Tucker Max was trying to do with a few people with special skills blogging. IE- Sniper in Afgahastan. Long and short of it, how easy is Go Daddy to use and put together a unique template. Things have evolved since my last hurrah with Geocities. I realize my structure of sentences on here suck. I do have the ability to use proper punctuation and structure when I slow down and actually think. I type to long of responses on here to really go over shit with a comb and tweek it.
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