[Mr. Blonde]

Originally Posted by Repugnant Abomination

That's really interesting. I assume you mean continuously walking in a circle with short steps? Maybe I should try that. Have you noticed any changed or benefits in your every day life? 10 minutes a day consistently for a year is impressive. I really need to get back to this.

Sitting in zazen, complete silence, not moving (usually in the mornings before anything else) is the ten minutes.

"Moving" meditation isn't doing anything with walking in circles. I mean that when I'm moving around doing things during the day, I simply don't think about anything unless I have to. If I am driving, I focus intently on driving and my surroundings and nothing else, supported by counting my breath. Same with cleaning dishes, doing laundry, eating, working, buying groceries, etc -- I am practice vipassana meditation, all the time. Noticing every thing I can sense (sights and sounds are the two biggest ones, although I am developing my taste and smell better) as much as possible, becoming aware of them, but not reacting to them. When I find myself "thinking" unnecessarily (which is most thinking imo), I acknowledge to myself what my brain was thinking about and return to my breath. Jakusho-Kwong Roshi calls this "Breath Sweeps Mind", and wrote a book about it.

Basically by focusing on my breath all day I can stay focused and complete my various tasks one-by-one without being distracted by thoughts or what other people are doing, which usually lead to anxiety, stress or other distractions. I try to keep a blank mind at all times by constantly counting my breaths in different ways, unless I am called upon to think. I can still access my thoughts when I want to, but most of the time I don't want to, because I have found pleasure in having a blank, but concentrated mind. I try not to "think" unless I have to or want to for some philosophic or creative reason --- just focus on the breath. I took it to this extreme because of how tormented my thoughts were and just couldn't live like that anymore.

That sounds pretty sweet, actually. Do you think the weed and mushrooms are necessary to see the beauty that has been right in front of you, or does it simply enhance it? If the former, what do you think has led you to being able to see and appreciate it when before you couldn't?

They probably aren't necessary, but something about ingesting psilocybin mushrooms in particular (and to a lesser degree, LSD) seems to form (or re-jump-start) a neurochemical bond between your consciousness and the nature from which you evolved from. The first time I went hiking after taking a cap I saw a ladybug on the ground and it was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen. Not in a trippy, "whoooaaa" man, way --- rather, I realized that it was a bright red jewel complex jewel of consciousness, no matter how small, that had taken millions of years to develop, and I was seeing it with the eyes of Adam, so to speak. I had been around so many ladybugs they had become commonplace. It's like seeing everything with new eyes, eyes of intense appreciation for the beauty that is around us constantly, that we have become dull to. Cleansing the doors of perception.

The tree which moves some to tears of joy is in the eyes of others only a green thing that stands in the way. Some see nature all ridicule and deformity... and some scarce see nature at all. But to the eyes of the man of imagination, nature is imagination itself.

~William Blake

Same with trees, flowers, other insects, etc. The mushrooms helped me viscerally feel the biological connection with Nature --- fellow life. It's difficult to explain without experiencing it, but it is quite beautiful for one who loves nature. Others I have heard reported being scared, as if nature was "creeping towards them". I did not experience this --- I felt more welcomed, as if my feet were perfectly at home on the soil, surrounded by nature. I had actually never felt more at home in my life. Also of interest -- certain plants and trees are much more striking than others. There is some mountain stalk plant here with a seed-pod that bursts opens and then just stands, dead, and those are absolutely beautiful on mushrooms. I can't explain why. It's really all about extremely intense detail -- and STILLNESS. The stillness you experience on mushrooms in nature, it's almost like three-dimensional vision becomes amplified.

Another interesting part --- If one truly opens up to Nature and forms that connection over several shroom experiences (even microdosing, a couple stems or one cap, very safe), the "connection" seems to stay with you (although it does diminish over time). Nature looks amazing to me all the time, I appreciate trees more, insects, everything. It's all life, we are all related. We know this academically, but again, this is about FEELING it.


What was REALLY interesting, that first time I was tripping in nature, was after marvelling in my own veritable Eden for about a half hour, I stumbled upon a large communications tower and was literally shocked at how ugly and "out-of-place" it seemed. Those phone towers that you see everywhere, looked, to me, like some sort of menacing alien structure, something that the Borg may have built and put on this planet of otherwise organic beauty. It was shocking how industrially fearful I was of such a commonplace item in the landscape.

Do you ever get frustrated reading about Taoism? I know by definition it is undefinable, and the second you start trying to put it into words you've lost it, but sometimes I feel like it's being vague and esoteric just for the sake of being so. Admittedly that's just my mind wanting definitive, concrete answers, but still. I think more broadly the esoteric nature of some Eastern philosophy and religion is what simultaneously attracts some people and turns others away. The attraction comes from a kind of mystical legitimacy that has been lost with Western religion due to its politicized nature and dumbing down. But that same mysticism makes it seem unknowable to others who are looking for something more straight forward.

I lean towards mysticism in general, mostly, again, because of my drug and near-death/simulated death experiences. I feel like I understand Taoism pretty well --- particularly the line "You cannot KNOW it, but you can BE it, at ease, in your own life". I just accept that I am part of a natural process, no different from any other animal and followed the instructions of how "The Master" acts for about 4-6 months straight, because, again, I was literally doing nothing else with my life except miserably trying to get over my ex and put my life back together. I don't think I can explain Taoism, but if you follow the "directions", as it were in the book for an extended period of time, I think you begin to understand more gradually.

I'll answer the rest later. I'm really tired. I really enjoy having this discussion with you, however, and am glad we are meeting on common, adult ground.