Nancy - The "Wrap" Lady

[Ugly Bastard]

Friends, family, gather around, it's story time.

Every day at Ball State University, I get a tortilla wrap from our eatery. It's a Subway-style get-up. You basically walk up to the counter, and tell them what you want on your wrap.

Well, there is a gentle old lady that works there named "Nancy". Nancy has been known to strike up a conversation with me on more than one occasion. I'm a pretty easily recognizable guy, and she does just that (recognizes me).

To prove that she 'knows' me, and isn't just being friendly; I have, on more than one occasion, walked up to the wrap-station side-by-side with another person. Anytime I do this, Nancy looks directly at me, ignores the other person, and asks "how are you doing today?" Or something to that effect.

Moral of the story, Nancy knows me.

The real bastard about Nancy is her inability to remember what I get every mother fucking day at the wrap-station.

I guarantee you that I have averaged at least one wrap per day, this entire school year. There are some days where I won't get one, but there are just as many days where I get two, so it all comes out in the wash.

Nancy easily makes five of my wraps per week, as she is the only full-time fixture at the establishment.

So let's add things up here:

5 (wraps per week) x 19 (weeks of school so far) = 95 (wraps that Nancy has made for me)

Allow me to tell you, that I get the exact same thing on my wrap every time I am there. I have never deviated from the original concoction that I created the first time I got a wrap.

So you'd think that after making 95 wraps, "the usual" would be enough to get Nancy's ass in gear, right?

Wrong Motherfucker.

Everyday that I walk up there, she looks at me with her sweet old face, says hello, asks how I'm doing, and then fetches the wrap of my choice (you can get tomato, white, wheat, or garlic...that is the only thing about my wrap that may vary from day to day).

Here's where the part that pisses me off hits the fan. She just looks way up at me from her 4'6" frame and says, "what kind of sauce would you like?" And for 95-fucking wraps in a row, I look at her and say "honey mustard", and for 95 wraps in a row, she stares back at me and says "honey mustard???". She's like my friend Karl...

Yes Nancy, honey fucking mustard. I'm in here every God damn day. You make my wrap for me every fucking day. And every fucking day you make my wrap for me, I have to tell you twice, that I would like honey mustard on my wrap.

[sidetrack]Allow me to take this time to get off track for a second, and discuss my days of working at Subway. Certainly tonguegina, ninjaface, and maybe pliedes can attest to this for me. I worked at Subway for the better side of a year. During this tenure, there were probably about five customers who I would make an item for on at least a bi-weekly basis. Two of them, I would start preparing their order when I saw their car pull up in the parking lot. Russ Ridley, bicycle, roasted chicken on white, no cheese, lettuce. Ms. Golding, Honda Civic, turkey salad with a little bit of onion (but only on the weekends), tomato, olive, and Italian dressing.

There were a few other customers that had a similar pattern like this, but they weren't quite as regular as Ms. Golding and Mr. Ridley.

The point of all this is, after probably 3-4 weeks, I had these people's order down to a tee. I never even had to utter a word to them at all throughout the entire process. Most of the time they would just wait down by the register, as they had noticed that I began preparing their item before they even entered the store.[/sidetrack]

Now, is it too unreasonable to think that after 95 orders, Nancy would know what I want on my wrap? It's not complex at all. Lettuce, Cucumber, little bit of onion, mozerella, and chicken. That's it. Five fucking things. Do I expect her to know it after the first, say, dozen times? Nah, why should she give a fuck? But after all Nancy and I have been through together, after all of the conversations and 'hellos', I would have thought that she would have been able to remember five simple fucking things to put on my daily wrap.

And it's not that she just 'doesn't remember' or is 'a little spotty'. She flat out doesn't have a fucking clue in the world what I'm about to say to her next after she puts on each item. Honest to God, she doesn't know a damn thing that I'm about to say to her.

Fuck.

And after all 95 times, after she wraps the motherfucker up, she looks up at me and says "do you want it cut?" and all 95 God damn times, I look back at her and say "no".

Nancy. Jesus...I mean....

Ah, hell.

-Ugly Bastard

[ February 03, 2004, 05:18 PM: Message edited by: Ugly Bastard ]

[Elegy]

Okay, so Nancy probably sees 1,000 kids a day walking through that cafeteria or around campus. She is also old. You should be glad if she even recognizes that you look familiar, let alone your name. Don't you think she ever just wants to say, "Make your own damn sandwich!"? Yet she doesn't, because she's a good person. She's probably got 10 to 15 kids that come by everyday that order the same thing, not to mention kids that only come by every once and a while that throw off her memory. Yet, you expect her to remember your order, like your special or more important?

Seriously, cry us a fucking river.

[Ugly Bastard]

Originally posted by Elegy:
Yet, you expect her to remember your order, like your special or more important?

Yes, exactly. I did it for the regular few of the 1,000 customers I saw a day at Subway, I'm asking for the same in return.

Go have sex with yourself.

-Ugly Bastard

[Titan]

That was a pretty story. Reminds me of this fat old lady that works in the cafeteria here. I would get a turkey sandwich on white with swiss and cucumbers everyday. Not only everday, but everyday at the same time. Not only that, but I was probably the only person in the cafeteria at that time at least three days out of the week. I went in between lunch and dinner when no one went. You'd think she would have caught on. Evidently not. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, I feel your pain.

[rla128]

[in reference to elegy's first post]... build a bridge, and get over it!

Sorry, couldn't resist that ever-so-stupid attachment to that ever-so-stupid phrase.

Have you considered perhaps making a t-shirt, or a sign, which states what your order is? That'd make everybody happy.

[ February 03, 2004, 05:43 PM: Message edited by: rla128 ]

[Ugly Bastard]

Originally posted by rla128:
Have you considered perhaps making a t-shirt, or a sign, which states what your order is? That'd make everybody happy.

Except for the dumbass walking around a college campus with an order for a meal on his shirt.

-Ugly Bastard

[rla128]

Seriously... what would it really change?

Be proud of being the dumbass walking around campus with an order for a meal on your shirt!

Look here, UB. It's either embracing the dumbassness, and wearing the shirt, or dealing the forgetful lady.

[tonguegina]

I know the lady of which you speak, UB...you know, since we live in the same building and all. Anyway, I personally HATE that lady. There is nothing about her that I like. In fact, I have a tendancy to go find food from another place if she's the only person at the wrap station. Here's why:

1)She charges me full price. Ok, so it's her job. You can't really blame her, but let me lay it out for you. When I get a wrap, it is of the chicken and bacon variety. It's an extra dollar for chicken and 30 cents for each piece of bacon. If you have a kid make it, you only have to pay for the regular wrap.

2)She has these ginormous nostrals that always has something hanging out of them. It makes me feel a bit queezy.

3)She always finds a way to tear my wrap. When I get back to the room to eat, there will be a huge cut in it that the contents are pouring out of.

4)She has some sort of attitude problem. She's always extremely short and pissy with me. I get this overwhelming feeling that I need to punch her in the face.

Basically, if I were to categorize her, she'd fall under the category of "bitch". I just don't like her. Sure she's old and small, but I just don't like her.

[Ugly Bastard]

Originally posted by tonguegina:
3)She always finds a way to tear my wrap. When I get back to the room to eat, there will be a huge cut in it that the contents are pouring out of.

See, I've never had this problem with Nancy. In fact, the part that really sucks is, she makes the best wraps of anyone that works there, IMO. I can't resist getting a wrap if I go down there and see that she's working, it's just the constant repeating myself that I have to go through that gets to me after a while.

Originally posted by tonguegina:
4)She has some sort of attitude problem. She's always extremely short and pissy with me. I get this overwhelming feeling that I need to punch her in the face.

Again, I have never had this problem. Nancy has always been a darling to me. I can definetly see where people would have a problem with her though. I was friendly to her the first time I met her, so that kinda set the stage for the rest of the year.

As far as the full-price stuff goes, I will give you that. However, it is somewhat fitting to have to pay the full price for the wrap made by the best artist. There is this snoody black girl that works there, and while she can't make a wrap for shit, she does only charge $4.00 for it. There are others too who make a decent wrap, but instead of putting the $5.00 sticker on like Nancy does, they put a $4.00 and a $1.00 "extra chicken" sticker on, and what I do, is just rip off the $1.00 sticker, and get the bastard for $4 anyway.

-Ugly Bastard

[Ugly Bastard]

Update:

I just went downstairs and got a wrap, Tomato variety, Nancy crafted.

She got the wrap ready, then looked up at me and goes, "what sauce?" I said "honey mustard", then she goes "honey mustard??", and I just couldn't hold it in. I burst out laughing, then quickly tried to hold it back while saying "yes". Thinking of the things I said in this thread, it just killed me. She was on que as usual with her "honey mustard??"" comment. I died. Oh God.

In her defense, ironically, today was the first day that Nancy showed some improvement.

She started putting the lettuce on without having to be prompted.

And, while she was putting on the chicken, and wrapping the bastard up, I was admiring this beautiful girl about ten feet away. I kinda was in a daze, when I realized that she had just asked me if I "want this cut?" I said "no", and she replied, "I didn't think you did, but I figured I better ask". Atta girl Nancy. Baby steps, you'll get 'er.

[rant]Another thing, Nancy is the only person that actually weighs the chicken on the mini-scale before putting in on the wrap. They are supposed to put a certain portion on the wrap, but Nancy is the only one who is afraid of getting fired enough to the point that she actually weighs the chicken. It kinda pisses me off...[/rant]

-Ugly Bastard

[VOL]

See she's getting there UB. She's probably just a later bloomer. You'll have that wrap before she goes senile. Then when she gets it you can shake her up by wanting something different on your wrap, prompting her to throw a tantrum.

[Pliedes]

I think UB has a crush

[tonguegina]

I forgot about the weighing of the chicken. You definitely get more with anyone else.

I like the people that don't count out the bacon. They'll grab a huge hand full of bacon and put it on there...then not put a sticker on. God bless those folk.

[Combat Chuck]

I wish we had daily wraps. You guys should consider yourselves lucky. I only get wraps once a week.

Fuckitall.

[VOL]

We just have 2 Subways and 1 Pizza Hut. Even when we turn into a residential campus after construction next year we won't have wraps, except those Atkins ones. Be glad you also have a Nancy.