Love or Action? - Nubblies.net Forums

Deja Entendu · 07-14-2003, 01:13 AM

Okay, this is another relationship question for you all to possibly help me with. I have been with the same girl since about February. Before that we'd gone out for three months. So basically it's been a year that I've only had my eyes set on this girl. I can't stop thinking about her, she's more than I could've have ever asked for, but there is something "missing" in a sense. I know that I probably sound like the world's most typical guy when I say this, but things seem to be moving slowly, if not at all as far as physically. That for me won't work for long, being of my testosterone driven nature, I eventually will get my kicks from the first opportunity I have. I don't want that to happen, but I don't know how to tell my girlfriend that I can't just keep getting by with making out. There are also outside forces pulling me away from her too. I have had multiple incidents where I've had to turn down girls interested in some "fun". If things keep pursuing as they are, I'm afraid I'm going to do something I'll regret forever. How do I tell my girlfriend that I want to get more physical without seeming cliche?

Also, I am not a newbie, I had to create a new I.D. for anonimoty reasons considering the nature of this post.

[ July 13, 2003, 11:16 PM: Message edited by: Deja Entendu ]

malibu · 07-14-2003, 01:20 AM

My question to you Deja... Have you ever tried taking things up a level?

ninjaface · 07-14-2003, 01:39 AM

Choose action. You can't go wrong.

Deja Entendu · 07-14-2003, 01:43 AM

Haha, easier said than done ninjaface.

Malibu, yes i have a bit, but to not much prevail, she doesn't seem into it. Maybe that's just her way. I got to about second base. It's not like she slapped me or anything, but she just didn't seem like she's into it.

malibu · 07-14-2003, 01:45 AM

I think next time you guys are together you should just try to do more and if she refuses, then tell her that you can't handle it anymore, and then break up with her

Deja Entendu · 07-14-2003, 01:51 AM

Harsh, but we'll just see.

sim_flex_x · 07-14-2003, 02:00 AM

I think that sounds pretty harsh
if she doesn't wanna go any further, then respect her and don't

if action's more important to you than she is, then end it with her and move on, it's not fair to her

if you really care about her then getting some shouldn't be a huge issue

decide what's more important, then go from there

StabMaster Arson · 07-14-2003, 02:26 AM

I would really like this thread to turn into "figure out who Deja is"

my guess... StDx
I heard that asshole already has a couple IDs

[ July 14, 2003, 12:29 AM: Message edited by: StabMaster Arson ]

Ugly Bastard · 07-14-2003, 09:06 AM

Deja, go ahead and tell her that if things don't progress, you're walking out. Mkay.

So, who are you then?

-Ugly Bastard

Deja Entendu · 07-14-2003, 11:36 AM

Alrighty then, thanks for the advice kids.

You see, I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.

Alpha · 07-14-2003, 12:46 PM

Wait... So you're really into this girl, but since you can't do anything more than make out with her you are ready to bail? Is getting off really more important than a relationship with this girl? That's kinda sad, at least that's my opinion, I say just sit down and have a talk about it with her, if she's not willing to stretch her boundries then oh well. If you really like this girl what does it matter if she does any of that?

Deja Entendu · 07-14-2003, 01:00 PM

No, it's not that at all, just forget it, I obviously can't seem to explain this right for people to not assume the wrong things.

fat_retard · 07-14-2003, 03:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by StabMaster Arson:
I would really like this thread to turn into "figure out who Deja is"

my guess... StDx
I heard that asshole already has a couple IDs

This is actually a very easy thing to figure out, but to provide privacy for the user I suspect it to be, I will not reveal the name.

silver and cold · 07-14-2003, 05:01 PM

Deja Entendu, If you care so much, tell her how you feel! And that might help the whole moving-up problem your having!And if she doesnt want to...well either you can deal with it, or dump her...

Alpha · 07-15-2003, 02:05 AM

Deal with it my friend. If you really care for the girl like it seems you do, why hurt her because she won't step it up physically? I think people forget how much hugging and kissing can really mean and skip straight to getting off.

sim_flex_x · 07-15-2003, 02:29 AM

well said alpha, well said

Deja Entendu · 07-15-2003, 03:19 AM

Jesus Christ, you obviously have no comprehension as to what I'm saying here. If she's not willing to step it up, I don't care. I just don't know how to fucking find out if she is or isn't. I don't want to push the limit and make her feel uncomfortable, but I don't know how I'm supposed to tell her. Damn, I have no problem spending the entire night cuddling with her, I know exactly how much that stuff means okay sport. I realize exactly how much that stuff means with one kiss goodnight, and I get reminded how lucky I am to be with her. I don't want to mess everything up by testing her physical boundaries. I'm just perplexed as to finding out what lines she doesn't want me to cross. Is that simple enough?

sim_flex_x · 07-15-2003, 04:16 AM

then talk to her
it doesn't get more simple than that

Jesus Chrystler · 07-15-2003, 04:28 AM

talk? to a female? you mean you can do more than just mess around with them? what a concept.

Deja Entendu · 07-15-2003, 01:34 PM

Okay, there's where I reach my problem, if we start talking about it that will probably make things really friggin' weird thereafter. I guess I just will anyway, not a lot of options, seems like not many really get it anyway, but thanks for trying.

[ July 15, 2003, 11:35 AM: Message edited by: Deja Entendu ]

Ugly Bastard · 07-15-2003, 03:42 PM

Go ahead and have break-up sex, and call it a day. Honestly...

-Ugly Bastard

silver and cold · 07-15-2003, 04:15 PM

Deja Entendu, go with sim's advice...you can try and talk to her. She'd probably have alot more respect for you if you talked instead of just trying something. When your in a weird positon like that, it's not always easy.

If she starts acting all weird, well maybe theres someone else.If she acts the same, good, you tried.(hopefully succeded) [img]smile.gif[/img]

[ July 15, 2003, 02:24 PM: Message edited by: silver and cold ]

BigDongedHoe · 07-16-2003, 02:37 AM

I would definitely talk to her as well. You said your worried things might be weird thereafter but if you guys have been together for a while then it's always good to talk and I'm sure that even if she isn't willing to take it to that next level she'd be perfectly happy that you said something about it. I'm a male and I know the sexual cravings are tempting but be honest with her and yourself. Don't cheat on her, if the impulse is really that strong then maybe you just need freedom right now and don't want to be tied down. However if you can control those impulses and think about what an amazing girl she is then obviously I'd stay with her. Either way talking to her would help more than anything. After being with someone off and on for the past 40 months I've realized that getting things out in the open always is better than lying and keeping things to yourself.

Whatever you do be honest to her, don't cheat on her for an hour of fun, I gurantee you that it won't be worth it.

[ July 16, 2003, 12:38 AM: Message edited by: BigDongedHoe ]

Orgazmo · 07-16-2003, 03:17 AM

Yes, Deja, talking it out is honestly the only way to go. I mean, when you actually sit down and think about it, it's the only logical path to take. The only two paths that I can even imagine are talking or you pushing it without taking into consideration how she feels about it. The latter would either work out nicely for you...or it would lead to being accused of rape and spending years in jail. You don't want to go to jail, do you? Probably not.

You've been with her for 5 months according to your first post...which is definitely long enough to talk about shaky subjects. Sure, it may be a little uncomfortable at the beginning...but I assure you that it will become easier. The good thing about it is that after talking, you'll both be more comfortable around each other knowing that you have a mutual understanding that's deeper than it previously was. After being with someone for an unbroken chain of time, not off and on, for 48.48387 months, I've realized that getting things out in the open is always better. Like I said before, it may lead to an initial feeling of uncomfort...but, even as soon as you both start to actually talk about it, that feeling will disappear and you'll be left with a more comfortable relationship.

BigDongedHoe · 07-16-2003, 03:23 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Orgazmo:
After being with someone for an unbroken chain of time, not off and on, for 48.48387 months, I've realized that getting things out in the open is always better.

I guess I failed to realize it was a contest?

07-14-2003, 01:13 AM	#1 (permalink)
Deja Entendu Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Warsaw/Shithole, USA Posts: 9 Internets: 10	Okay, this is another relationship question for you all to possibly help me with. I have been with the same girl since about February. Before that we'd gone out for three months. So basically it's been a year that I've only had my eyes set on this girl. I can't stop thinking about her, she's more than I could've have ever asked for, but there is something "missing" in a sense. I know that I probably sound like the world's most typical guy when I say this, but things seem to be moving slowly, if not at all as far as physically. That for me won't work for long, being of my testosterone driven nature, I eventually will get my kicks from the first opportunity I have. I don't want that to happen, but I don't know how to tell my girlfriend that I can't just keep getting by with making out. There are also outside forces pulling me away from her too. I have had multiple incidents where I've had to turn down girls interested in some "fun". If things keep pursuing as they are, I'm afraid I'm going to do something I'll regret forever. How do I tell my girlfriend that I want to get more physical without seeming cliche? Also, I am not a newbie, I had to create a new I.D. for anonimoty reasons considering the nature of this post. [ July 13, 2003, 11:16 PM: Message edited by: Deja Entendu ]
	I think in decimals in dollars. I am the cause to all your problems.

07-14-2003, 01:20 AM	#2 (permalink)
malibu Caribou Lou Join Date: May 2003 Location: Warsaw, IN, Usa Posts: 948 Internets: 567	My question to you Deja... Have you ever tried taking things up a level?
	"Remember, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Except for herpes. That shit'll come back with you."

07-14-2003, 01:43 AM	#4 (permalink)
Deja Entendu Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Warsaw/Shithole, USA Posts: 9 Internets: 10	Haha, easier said than done ninjaface. Malibu, yes i have a bit, but to not much prevail, she doesn't seem into it. Maybe that's just her way. I got to about second base. It's not like she slapped me or anything, but she just didn't seem like she's into it.
	I think in decimals in dollars. I am the cause to all your problems.

07-14-2003, 01:45 AM	#5 (permalink)
malibu Caribou Lou Join Date: May 2003 Location: Warsaw, IN, Usa Posts: 948 Internets: 567	I think next time you guys are together you should just try to do more and if she refuses, then tell her that you can't handle it anymore, and then break up with her
	"Remember, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Except for herpes. That shit'll come back with you."

07-14-2003, 01:51 AM	#6 (permalink)
Deja Entendu Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Warsaw/Shithole, USA Posts: 9 Internets: 10	Harsh, but we'll just see.
	I think in decimals in dollars. I am the cause to all your problems.

07-14-2003, 01:39 AM	#3 (permalink)
ninjaface Level 20 Holothetan Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Space Posts: 5,245 Internets: 210144	Choose action. You can't go wrong.

07-14-2003, 02:00 AM	#7 (permalink)
sim_flex_x Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: St. Pete Posts: 690 Internets: 10	I think that sounds pretty harsh if she doesn't wanna go any further, then respect her and don't if action's more important to you than she is, then end it with her and move on, it's not fair to her if you really care about her then getting some shouldn't be a huge issue decide what's more important, then go from there

07-14-2003, 02:26 AM	#8 (permalink)
StabMaster Arson Roscoe P. Coldchain Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Stabbin Cabin Posts: 2,759 Internets: 1425	I would really like this thread to turn into "figure out who Deja is" my guess... StDx I heard that asshole already has a couple IDs [ July 14, 2003, 12:29 AM: Message edited by: StabMaster Arson ]
	LEGALIZE CRIME!

07-14-2003, 09:06 AM	#9 (permalink)
Ugly Bastard Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: U.S.A. Posts: 13,643 Internets: 247330	Deja, go ahead and tell her that if things don't progress, you're walking out. Mkay. So, who are you then? -Ugly Bastard

07-14-2003, 11:36 AM	#10 (permalink)
Deja Entendu Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Warsaw/Shithole, USA Posts: 9 Internets: 10	Alrighty then, thanks for the advice kids. You see, I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.
	I think in decimals in dollars. I am the cause to all your problems.

07-14-2003, 12:46 PM	#11 (permalink)
Alpha Senior Member Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 1,003 Internets: 82	Wait... So you're really into this girl, but since you can't do anything more than make out with her you are ready to bail? Is getting off really more important than a relationship with this girl? That's kinda sad, at least that's my opinion, I say just sit down and have a talk about it with her, if she's not willing to stretch her boundries then oh well. If you really like this girl what does it matter if she does any of that?
	Gods are but men with immortal souls.

07-14-2003, 01:00 PM	#12 (permalink)
Deja Entendu Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Warsaw/Shithole, USA Posts: 9 Internets: 10	No, it's not that at all, just forget it, I obviously can't seem to explain this right for people to not assume the wrong things.
	I think in decimals in dollars. I am the cause to all your problems.

07-14-2003, 05:01 PM	#14 (permalink)
silver and cold Ish... Join Date: May 2003 Location: this nowhere Posts: 1,680 Internets: 10	Deja Entendu, If you care so much, tell her how you feel! And that might help the whole moving-up problem your having!And if she doesnt want to...well either you can deal with it, or dump her...
	the killer in me is the killer in you.

07-15-2003, 02:05 AM	#15 (permalink)
Alpha Senior Member Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 1,003 Internets: 82	Deal with it my friend. If you really care for the girl like it seems you do, why hurt her because she won't step it up physically? I think people forget how much hugging and kissing can really mean and skip straight to getting off.
	Gods are but men with immortal souls.

07-15-2003, 02:29 AM	#16 (permalink)
sim_flex_x Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: St. Pete Posts: 690 Internets: 10	well said alpha, well said

07-15-2003, 03:19 AM	#17 (permalink)
Deja Entendu Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Warsaw/Shithole, USA Posts: 9 Internets: 10	Jesus Christ, you obviously have no comprehension as to what I'm saying here. If she's not willing to step it up, I don't care. I just don't know how to fucking find out if she is or isn't. I don't want to push the limit and make her feel uncomfortable, but I don't know how I'm supposed to tell her. Damn, I have no problem spending the entire night cuddling with her, I know exactly how much that stuff means okay sport. I realize exactly how much that stuff means with one kiss goodnight, and I get reminded how lucky I am to be with her. I don't want to mess everything up by testing her physical boundaries. I'm just perplexed as to finding out what lines she doesn't want me to cross. Is that simple enough?
	I think in decimals in dollars. I am the cause to all your problems.

07-15-2003, 04:16 AM	#18 (permalink)
sim_flex_x Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: St. Pete Posts: 690 Internets: 10	then talk to her it doesn't get more simple than that

07-15-2003, 04:28 AM	#19 (permalink)
Jesus Chrystler Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 208 Internets: 26	talk? to a female? you mean you can do more than just mess around with them? what a concept.
	give a man fire, warm him for a day... set a man on fire, warm him for the rest of his life.

07-15-2003, 01:34 PM	#20 (permalink)
Deja Entendu Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Warsaw/Shithole, USA Posts: 9 Internets: 10	Okay, there's where I reach my problem, if we start talking about it that will probably make things really friggin' weird thereafter. I guess I just will anyway, not a lot of options, seems like not many really get it anyway, but thanks for trying. [ July 15, 2003, 11:35 AM: Message edited by: Deja Entendu ]
	I think in decimals in dollars. I am the cause to all your problems.

07-15-2003, 03:42 PM	#21 (permalink)
Ugly Bastard Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: U.S.A. Posts: 13,643 Internets: 247330	Go ahead and have break-up sex, and call it a day. Honestly... -Ugly Bastard

07-15-2003, 04:15 PM	#22 (permalink)
silver and cold Ish... Join Date: May 2003 Location: this nowhere Posts: 1,680 Internets: 10	Deja Entendu, go with sim's advice...you can try and talk to her. She'd probably have alot more respect for you if you talked instead of just trying something. When your in a weird positon like that, it's not always easy. If she starts acting all weird, well maybe theres someone else.If she acts the same, good, you tried.(hopefully succeded) [img]smile.gif[/img] [ July 15, 2003, 02:24 PM: Message edited by: silver and cold ]
	the killer in me is the killer in you.

07-16-2003, 02:37 AM	#23 (permalink)
BigDongedHoe Sex Kitten Milf fuuucck Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Denver, CO Posts: 3,704 Internets: 55974	I would definitely talk to her as well. You said your worried things might be weird thereafter but if you guys have been together for a while then it's always good to talk and I'm sure that even if she isn't willing to take it to that next level she'd be perfectly happy that you said something about it. I'm a male and I know the sexual cravings are tempting but be honest with her and yourself. Don't cheat on her, if the impulse is really that strong then maybe you just need freedom right now and don't want to be tied down. However if you can control those impulses and think about what an amazing girl she is then obviously I'd stay with her. Either way talking to her would help more than anything. After being with someone off and on for the past 40 months I've realized that getting things out in the open always is better than lying and keeping things to yourself. Whatever you do be honest to her, don't cheat on her for an hour of fun, I gurantee you that it won't be worth it. [ July 16, 2003, 12:38 AM: Message edited by: BigDongedHoe ]
	There's life and then there is Cubs baseball, it's a chore to seperate the two.

07-16-2003, 03:17 AM	#24 (permalink)
Orgazmo COME ON YOU YANKS Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Indiana Posts: 15,732 Internets: 311447	Yes, Deja, talking it out is honestly the only way to go. I mean, when you actually sit down and think about it, it's the only logical path to take. The only two paths that I can even imagine are talking or you pushing it without taking into consideration how she feels about it. The latter would either work out nicely for you...or it would lead to being accused of rape and spending years in jail. You don't want to go to jail, do you? Probably not. You've been with her for 5 months according to your first post...which is definitely long enough to talk about shaky subjects. Sure, it may be a little uncomfortable at the beginning...but I assure you that it will become easier. The good thing about it is that after talking, you'll both be more comfortable around each other knowing that you have a mutual understanding that's deeper than it previously was. After being with someone for an unbroken chain of time, not off and on, for 48.48387 months, I've realized that getting things out in the open is always better. Like I said before, it may lead to an initial feeling of uncomfort...but, even as soon as you both start to actually talk about it, that feeling will disappear and you'll be left with a more comfortable relationship.