judging by the pictures of Pete the possible opossum, I'd like to shed some light. Pete is, indeed, an opossum, but not just any opossum, Pete was my friend. Pete rose from his impoverished upbringing in Warsaw's unforgiving NorthEast side to enjoy success as a door to door salesman of fine cosmetics. Before this, during his short tenure at Tippy Valley highschool I met Pete upon the soccer field. Pete played with an unmatched intesity and led his team to a close victory over us. Not wanting to party with a bunch of losers following the grueling match, I joined Pistol Pete, as he was known, and his comrades at a gala event hosted by Pete's grandmother. Soon after that party, I realized that Pete was my hetero-lifemate and we quickly became inseperable. Pete and I were together almost all the time after that. After highschool, we attended IUSB, so we rented a loft together. That loft saw the best of times between us, we'd stay up late at night mainlining drain-o and sharing taiwanese hookers... we had this little move we'd do where we'd put her on all fours and join hands over her back, we called it the bridge. Anyway, shortly after college, we slowly drifted apart. Pete ended up marrying one of those hookers and fathered 2 children, Chang and Jamal. I had always wondered how the years were treating Pete, I guess now I know. It is a sad day friends... please say a prayer for Pete.
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