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Ugly Bastard · 06-16-2003, 12:07 PM

Sheila the Splatter

The hunters stumbled upon Sheila nearly by accident. You know that girl that always flirts with everyone, and leads you on to believe that she has a thing for you, only to find out that she treats every guy like that? Yeah, that's Sheila.

Sheila never put-out. All she did was flirt. And although it is still just a theory, the hunters think that Sheila was murdered by one of the many men that were led-on by her...and rightfully so.

Orgazmo takes a peak at Sheila's putrid underside to examine what mites are eating her out.

Sheila, quite the lady, never hesitates to smell up a highway.

She won't be missed...a'tall.

____________________________

Lisa the Kitten

CAUTION: DO NOT READ THIS ANIMAL'S ENTRY IF YOU ARE ONE WHO LIKES CATS
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Lisa's legacy was nearly not remembered. She was found right outside of Big-Apple Bagel, and the hunters nearly let her go un-photographed. Ridden with guilt and sorrow, Ugly Bastard convinces Orgazmo that taking just one (or two) pictures of Lisa is not cruel, if anything...kind. The theory that the two end up reaching with Lisa is that, she is already dead, and merely photographing her is going to do nothing but help the wonderful life that she lived, press on.

You see, Lisa was the golden girl of the town in her prime. She was the captain of the cheerleading team, and soon to be valedictorian of her class. She was the smiling face that everyone knew and loved. Sadly, Lisa's life took a dismal turn when she decided that "running out in front of a moving car" would be a good idea. Poor Lisa...

What is most striking to the hunters is Lisa's location. You see, the two have come to find that roadkill is a very rare thing to see in the middle of town. Most animals dwell on the outskirts of town, away from all the hustle and bustle. Lisa was an exception to this...

Although not exposed in the above picture, the hunter's wonderful job with MS Paint clearly shows you where Lisa's end came. May her wonderful soul rest in peace.

____________________________

Brian the Bird

Brian was a sick sick bastard. He spent his days concocting small terrorist plans to do what he could to eliminate as many innocent lives as possible. Although no one could ever prove a thing, it was widely rumored that Brian often jarred his semen and then, using a needle, injected it into unopened tubes of Neosporin at Wal-Mart. This doesn't sound too fruitful until you realize that Brian was an STD Vending Machine. His semen was so potent that simply touching it would leave the finger blistered, let alone the deeper effects that it had upon a person. A twisted mastermind...that's exactly what Brian was. Fortunately for you and I, Brian's fate was met when one adolecent refused to accept the evil in the world. After having her mother killed by Brian's shenanigans, Lisa hunted the soul and ended up sending him to his death upon Old US 30. Unfortunately, as you've already read, Lisa then decided to run in front of a car. Perhaps she was affected by the semen-laden feathers of her enemy. We'll never know for sure.

Ugly Bastard, contemplates spitting on Brian, but instead, raises him from the ground for one final tribute.

Orgazmo, very excited at the sight of Brian, follows suit.

Brian will be missed by some (sick bastards), but certainly not by those who knew the little secret he hid from society. That whore...

[ June 16, 2003, 10:47 AM: Message edited by: Orgazmo ]

06-16-2003, 12:07 PM	#20 (permalink)
Ugly Bastard Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: U.S.A. Posts: 13,643 Internets: 247330	Sheila the Splatter The hunters stumbled upon Sheila nearly by accident. You know that girl that always flirts with everyone, and leads you on to believe that she has a thing for you, only to find out that she treats every guy like that? Yeah, that's Sheila. Sheila never put-out. All she did was flirt. And although it is still just a theory, the hunters think that Sheila was murdered by one of the many men that were led-on by her...and rightfully so. Orgazmo takes a peak at Sheila's putrid underside to examine what mites are eating her out. Sheila, quite the lady, never hesitates to smell up a highway. She won't be missed...a'tall. ____________________________ Lisa the Kitten CAUTION: DO NOT READ THIS ANIMAL'S ENTRY IF YOU ARE ONE WHO LIKES CATS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Lisa's legacy was nearly not remembered. She was found right outside of Big-Apple Bagel, and the hunters nearly let her go un-photographed. Ridden with guilt and sorrow, Ugly Bastard convinces Orgazmo that taking just one (or two) pictures of Lisa is not cruel, if anything...kind. The theory that the two end up reaching with Lisa is that, she is already dead, and merely photographing her is going to do nothing but help the wonderful life that she lived, press on. You see, Lisa was the golden girl of the town in her prime. She was the captain of the cheerleading team, and soon to be valedictorian of her class. She was the smiling face that everyone knew and loved. Sadly, Lisa's life took a dismal turn when she decided that "running out in front of a moving car" would be a good idea. Poor Lisa... What is most striking to the hunters is Lisa's location. You see, the two have come to find that roadkill is a very rare thing to see in the middle of town. Most animals dwell on the outskirts of town, away from all the hustle and bustle. Lisa was an exception to this... Although not exposed in the above picture, the hunter's wonderful job with MS Paint clearly shows you where Lisa's end came. May her wonderful soul rest in peace. ____________________________ Brian the Bird Brian was a sick sick bastard. He spent his days concocting small terrorist plans to do what he could to eliminate as many innocent lives as possible. Although no one could ever prove a thing, it was widely rumored that Brian often jarred his semen and then, using a needle, injected it into unopened tubes of Neosporin at Wal-Mart. This doesn't sound too fruitful until you realize that Brian was an STD Vending Machine. His semen was so potent that simply touching it would leave the finger blistered, let alone the deeper effects that it had upon a person. A twisted mastermind...that's exactly what Brian was. Fortunately for you and I, Brian's fate was met when one adolecent refused to accept the evil in the world. After having her mother killed by Brian's shenanigans, Lisa hunted the soul and ended up sending him to his death upon Old US 30. Unfortunately, as you've already read, Lisa then decided to run in front of a car. Perhaps she was affected by the semen-laden feathers of her enemy. We'll never know for sure. Ugly Bastard, contemplates spitting on Brian, but instead, raises him from the ground for one final tribute. Orgazmo, very excited at the sight of Brian, follows suit. Brian will be missed by some (sick bastards), but certainly not by those who knew the little secret he hid from society. That whore... [ June 16, 2003, 10:47 AM: Message edited by: Orgazmo ]