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ninjaface · 12-09-2005, 10:17 PM

I hate to resurrect a thread that has gone to hell, but I felt it was necessary.

Sometimes I feel ultra jaded, like I have no soul. Very little bothers me and I have trouble caring about much of anything. The internet is not to blame, but I sure as hell couldn't have gotten this far without it. Some people might see me as insensitive.. but I don't think I deserve that label. Insensitive seems more like a conscious decision. I think desensitized would be more fitting because its an unwanted side effect that I never planned for.

I recently had a few glimmers of hope, though. The first happened a few weeks ago. I was watching Futurama with one of my roommates and the episode was about Fry's dog. In short, Fry had the option of cloneing his dog. He chose not to because he felt his dog lived a full life and it would be selfish bring him back. Then there was a montage with sad music showing his dog waiting for him to come back.. for something like 10 years. This honestly made me feel sad. I remember saying, "That's fucking depressing."

The other was when I was watching the animal planet. It was some kind of veterinary show. Some woman brought in her dog. I'm not sure what was wrong with it, but it was very sick and it wasn't responding to any type of treatment. So the vet convinced her to put the dog down. But here's what got me.. they showed it. The woman was present and said she wanted to hold the dog while they administered the phenobarbitol. So I watched as this dog died in the arms of this woman. She was crying and rocking the dog back and forth.

This shit got to me as well. I actually felt tears welling up. What I don't understand is how animals can effect me so much while humans don't matter one bit to me. I can watch Trauma: Life in the E.R. all day and not be phased at all. But when it comes to animals, I have trouble watching it.

12-09-2005, 10:17 PM	#24 (permalink)
ninjaface Level 20 Holothetan Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Space Posts: 5,245 Internets: 210144	I hate to resurrect a thread that has gone to hell, but I felt it was necessary. Sometimes I feel ultra jaded, like I have no soul. Very little bothers me and I have trouble caring about much of anything. The internet is not to blame, but I sure as hell couldn't have gotten this far without it. Some people might see me as insensitive.. but I don't think I deserve that label. Insensitive seems more like a conscious decision. I think desensitized would be more fitting because its an unwanted side effect that I never planned for. I recently had a few glimmers of hope, though. The first happened a few weeks ago. I was watching Futurama with one of my roommates and the episode was about Fry's dog. In short, Fry had the option of cloneing his dog. He chose not to because he felt his dog lived a full life and it would be selfish bring him back. Then there was a montage with sad music showing his dog waiting for him to come back.. for something like 10 years. This honestly made me feel sad. I remember saying, "That's fucking depressing." The other was when I was watching the animal planet. It was some kind of veterinary show. Some woman brought in her dog. I'm not sure what was wrong with it, but it was very sick and it wasn't responding to any type of treatment. So the vet convinced her to put the dog down. But here's what got me.. they showed it. The woman was present and said she wanted to hold the dog while they administered the phenobarbitol. So I watched as this dog died in the arms of this woman. She was crying and rocking the dog back and forth. This shit got to me as well. I actually felt tears welling up. What I don't understand is how animals can effect me so much while humans don't matter one bit to me. I can watch Trauma: Life in the E.R. all day and not be phased at all. But when it comes to animals, I have trouble watching it.