Here is a story I found in my school's newspaper, I thought some of you might find it interesting. (yes, this was actually published)
Pirates have better lifestyle than ninjas
As I read the letters in the Exponent last week, I found myself truly appalled at the letter daring to compare pirates and ninjas. I myself have been unofficially studying piracy for several years now. I resent the fact the there is someone out there who would have the audacity to compare pirates to ninjas and then have the ignorance to say ninjas are better. Ninjas are like little ballerinas prancing about and jumping to and fro in the shadows until they find someone to stab in the back, which is a dishonorable way to fight. Whereas a pirate will raise his flag well in advance of raiding a ship, giving the crew of the opposing ship more than adequate time to prepare or surrender if they so choose, and that is an upright thing for a pirate to do.
Pirates also have a far better wardrobe to choose from; pirates get to wear hats as big as they wish, as well as various types of jewelry. They can have hooks for hands and wooden pegs for legs if they wish. But ninjas, what can they wear to work each day? Black shirt, black shoes, black hood, black socks, black gloves, etc. Ninjas just don’t have it when it comes to fashion sense.
One last point I must bring up as to why pirates are far better than ninjas is the lifestyle. After all, who would want to be in a profession when it brings them no enjoyment? As a pirate, while at work you get to loot and pillage, which is just bloody good fun. When you clock out for the day, you get to go to town and drink rum and spend your money on "pleasurable company." What does a ninja go do when his day his over? Probably goes home and turns on Clay Aiken and works on his shadow prancing and wall hugging. Now these are only a few of the examples as to why piracy is a far better choice than ninjitsu. There are several more reasons, but I feel that these are enough to make my point clear. So please, if you are considering ninjitsu, let this letter be your guide to making the correct decision, which is to be a pirate. Savvy?
T.M. Slone
Freshman, School Of Technology
|