Before I get started, I feel the need to set my parameters after viewing just a bit of the content found on this forum for this piece of mind I wish to display. I apologize to those who are unable to muster interest from this solemn uncertainty of the human mind and life. I would like to kindly ask that those of you who do not contain the capacity to avoid replying with vulgarity in a manner that dipicts myslef as a whining insecure waste of life to refrain from taking this approach. Simply ignore the words that my fingers insist scripting into organized thoughts that will shortly be posted ofr everyone to view. Its almost as if I am using this as an outlet, allowing those who trully know nothing of me to take a small peak inside.
What steps should be taken when someone has lost all hopes of grasping even the slightes touch of happiness? What if your known by everyone, yet by no one? You have an image, an identity, and friends, yet they exist in a world that possesses not even a single benefit to your life. On the contrary, there are benefits; however, all would be given up in the pursuit of anything greater, a feeling of love, happiness, contentment. An eminent feeling for quite some time yet intelligence reminds you its only a fraction of you life, that things will in due time take a turn. What if you know for a fact your stuck, exactly that, stuck, for a time that will eat away until your mind is empty. Fruitless if you will, a fruitless mind, almost as if there is no motivation to be anyone or anything eventually leading to exactly that. Its the last thing I want, yet inevitable.
I am lost.
How long must you wait for it? Am I am the only one that feels this way? I thought I would be prepared for these moments in my life. I was fully aware that they would occur, everyone said it would not be easy, but no one said it would be this hard.
So many more views to illustrate, yet i have already wasted my time as well as yours. Maybe more will be brought forth as I am shown what interest this brings. Again, I understand if this forum was not designed for such discussion, and I apologize for even attempting if that is the case.
Oddly enough, as I see many of your faces everyday as life continues I will hope that no one recognizes the owner of these thoughts when in reality I would do anything to show all of you I am nowhere near what you may think. The front is to keep the image, even if its unwanted and continually deteriorating. When I work out where to draw the line, your guess is as good as mine.
-rocksteady
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