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Orgazmo · 07-01-2003, 03:24 AM

I, along with a few other Nubblites, have been titting around with some fireworks the past few days. I'm sure we're not alone...so I've created this thread to share your experiences with your feelings towards your various fireworks & firework vendors. Of course, as time goes on, this thread should grow accordingly and then, right after the 4th, we'll have the info as to who the good vendors are and what we're looking for as we rape them of their good shit at a heftily discounted rate. Onward.

The Vendors

Thus far, I've only visited two firework vendors...each with their own pros & cons.

The first vendor that I visited is located behind Big Apple Bagel. They have a huge red sign that says "Fireworks: 60% off" directing customers to their fine...alley. The first thing one notices when walking into the place is that the guy running it has a huge ass eye patch and wounds about his face...not very good for business. All in all, their prices were pretty high...but the guy was cool and even showed us some shit. He didn't bullshit around with us at all, he told us exactly what was what and even persuaded us to put some of the shit down that we had planned on because he didn't think it was worth the pricetag. Not bad folks...but kinda high prices. They had more bigger shit than the piddle ass type of thing that you and I are probably interested in...yet still some shit worth checking out...like some pimp ass balls that will be reviewed a bit later.

The other vendor that I visited is located where Gopher Golf used to be. It has a huge ass "Buy 1 Get 5 Free" sign in front of it. Of course, this sign only applies to two of their products (two variations of Roman Candles), but that's neither here nor there. I only have vendor #1 to compare this joint to...but, pricewise, it's generally superior. The folks running it aren't quite as... [img]graemlins/eathead.gif[/img] ...but they're also not as straight with the customer. They have a much larger selection of firecrackers and bottlerocketry here, which is a definite plus. Along with this, they give away free shit with their purchases...which is a definite good thing. I'd definitely give this place higher marks than the first if you're just interested in titting around with some friends. If you're looking to wow the entire family, visit joint #1.

The Works

We haven't sampled too many...but here's the lowdown on some of the basic shit out there.

Black Cat Bottlerockets

They were very equally priced at both joints at around $7 - $8 for a package...which contains a cockload (not sure how many...just a cockload). They're simple, yet fun. Very apt to being used in creative setups...always a plus.

Black Cat Firecrackers

Like their bottlerocket brothers, they're just as you'd imagine. They were cheaper @ vendor #2 by a few dollars, ringing up around $5 - $6 for a brick (which, like the bottlerockets, is a cockload). We've dicked around with them for a good while now and are not even half way through the dick with fins. They're simple, yet fun. You light the fuse, quickly throw them, then experience a boom. Or, if you're not a boring son of a bitch, you build sand castles and wire them with explosives...then blow them up. Either way...

M-1000's

These were not sold @ vendor #1, only @ #2. Thirty-Six pieces cost us $10. The motherfucker that sold them to us claimed that he was told that they could blow a hole in a tree, yet he could not confirm because he didn't tit around with firecrackers...he was an "in state" type of guy. Well, he heard wrong. They're quite a bit stronger than simple firecrackers...but not nearly strong enough to blow a fucking hole in a fucking tree. With that said, they still blow simple firecrackers out of the water. Out of the water enough to pay almost double for a small fraction of the amount? That's your call. They're powerful enough to blow the cap off a sealed gatorabe bottle...but not powerful enough to fuck with an aquafina. Powerful enough to be seen & heard when they explode from the bottom of a pond when it's thrown not too far from the shoreline...but not powerful enough to move more than a few rocks when buried in a pile. We attempted to destroy a foot long bass with one...but the fucker spit it out an instant before he exploded (and, like dumbasses, he put it in and threw him toward the water, thinking he's start swimming away and then be blown apart...leaving us with a good show and no cleanup...instead, he spit it out and swam away...leaving us trying to catch another one for an hour...to no avail). So yeah, they're good...

Saturn Missiles

These were given to us by the kind folks @ vendor #2. They were pretty pimp for how cheap they are ($2 for a 25 pack @ vendor #1, forget price @ #2...which lasts about 30 seconds). I don't know, they're not bad I guess...but I like fireworks that you can fuck around with a little bit. You can't really do anything cool with these other than watch them...

Pimp ass balls...I don't remember their name

Tongue or UB, if either of you recall the names of these badasses, feel free to post. These sons of bitches are pimp as hell. They cost us $8 for a 6 pack at Vendor #1, Vendor #2 had the same product for a few dollars more. Basically, they're real fireworks. They're balls that you put in a tube (that comes with the package), and then you light a fuse. It sounds like a cannon coming out, goes sky high, then blows in a boom & shower of sparks. It was loud enough that, after lighting the first one, we heard someone yell "Holy Shit" a few houses down and, a few minutes after we had cleaned up, two cops came patrolling the area to see what the fuck was going on (we set them off @ 11:30 at night...so we probably got called in). Anyway, they're well worth the $8 pricetag. Well fucking worth it.

Alright, we had a few pieces of some other shit...but that's basically it. I don't really remember the other stuff well enough to describe or review...so yeah. If you have any experiences of your own with vendors or works, feel free to post them or, if you have any in the future, go ahead. The goal is to make this thread pimp by the 4th so that we can raid the fuckers the following week for the good shit.

07-01-2003, 03:24 AM	#1 (permalink)
Orgazmo COME ON YOU YANKS Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Indiana Posts: 15,733 Internets: 311447	I, along with a few other Nubblites, have been titting around with some fireworks the past few days. I'm sure we're not alone...so I've created this thread to share your experiences with your feelings towards your various fireworks & firework vendors. Of course, as time goes on, this thread should grow accordingly and then, right after the 4th, we'll have the info as to who the good vendors are and what we're looking for as we rape them of their good shit at a heftily discounted rate. Onward. The Vendors Thus far, I've only visited two firework vendors...each with their own pros & cons. The first vendor that I visited is located behind Big Apple Bagel. They have a huge red sign that says "Fireworks: 60% off" directing customers to their fine...alley. The first thing one notices when walking into the place is that the guy running it has a huge ass eye patch and wounds about his face...not very good for business. All in all, their prices were pretty high...but the guy was cool and even showed us some shit. He didn't bullshit around with us at all, he told us exactly what was what and even persuaded us to put some of the shit down that we had planned on because he didn't think it was worth the pricetag. Not bad folks...but kinda high prices. They had more bigger shit than the piddle ass type of thing that you and I are probably interested in...yet still some shit worth checking out...like some pimp ass balls that will be reviewed a bit later. The other vendor that I visited is located where Gopher Golf used to be. It has a huge ass "Buy 1 Get 5 Free" sign in front of it. Of course, this sign only applies to two of their products (two variations of Roman Candles), but that's neither here nor there. I only have vendor #1 to compare this joint to...but, pricewise, it's generally superior. The folks running it aren't quite as... [img]graemlins/eathead.gif[/img] ...but they're also not as straight with the customer. They have a much larger selection of firecrackers and bottlerocketry here, which is a definite plus. Along with this, they give away free shit with their purchases...which is a definite good thing. I'd definitely give this place higher marks than the first if you're just interested in titting around with some friends. If you're looking to wow the entire family, visit joint #1. The Works We haven't sampled too many...but here's the lowdown on some of the basic shit out there. Black Cat Bottlerockets They were very equally priced at both joints at around $7 - $8 for a package...which contains a cockload (not sure how many...just a cockload). They're simple, yet fun. Very apt to being used in creative setups...always a plus. Black Cat Firecrackers Like their bottlerocket brothers, they're just as you'd imagine. They were cheaper @ vendor #2 by a few dollars, ringing up around $5 - $6 for a brick (which, like the bottlerockets, is a cockload). We've dicked around with them for a good while now and are not even half way through the dick with fins. They're simple, yet fun. You light the fuse, quickly throw them, then experience a boom. Or, if you're not a boring son of a bitch, you build sand castles and wire them with explosives...then blow them up. Either way... M-1000's These were not sold @ vendor #1, only @ #2. Thirty-Six pieces cost us $10. The motherfucker that sold them to us claimed that he was told that they could blow a hole in a tree, yet he could not confirm because he didn't tit around with firecrackers...he was an "in state" type of guy. Well, he heard wrong. They're quite a bit stronger than simple firecrackers...but not nearly strong enough to blow a fucking hole in a fucking tree. With that said, they still blow simple firecrackers out of the water. Out of the water enough to pay almost double for a small fraction of the amount? That's your call. They're powerful enough to blow the cap off a sealed gatorabe bottle...but not powerful enough to fuck with an aquafina. Powerful enough to be seen & heard when they explode from the bottom of a pond when it's thrown not too far from the shoreline...but not powerful enough to move more than a few rocks when buried in a pile. We attempted to destroy a foot long bass with one...but the fucker spit it out an instant before he exploded (and, like dumbasses, he put it in and threw him toward the water, thinking he's start swimming away and then be blown apart...leaving us with a good show and no cleanup...instead, he spit it out and swam away...leaving us trying to catch another one for an hour...to no avail). So yeah, they're good... Saturn Missiles These were given to us by the kind folks @ vendor #2. They were pretty pimp for how cheap they are ($2 for a 25 pack @ vendor #1, forget price @ #2...which lasts about 30 seconds). I don't know, they're not bad I guess...but I like fireworks that you can fuck around with a little bit. You can't really do anything cool with these other than watch them... Pimp ass balls...I don't remember their name Tongue or UB, if either of you recall the names of these badasses, feel free to post. These sons of bitches are pimp as hell. They cost us $8 for a 6 pack at Vendor #1, Vendor #2 had the same product for a few dollars more. Basically, they're real fireworks. They're balls that you put in a tube (that comes with the package), and then you light a fuse. It sounds like a cannon coming out, goes sky high, then blows in a boom & shower of sparks. It was loud enough that, after lighting the first one, we heard someone yell "Holy Shit" a few houses down and, a few minutes after we had cleaned up, two cops came patrolling the area to see what the fuck was going on (we set them off @ 11:30 at night...so we probably got called in). Anyway, they're well worth the $8 pricetag. Well fucking worth it. Alright, we had a few pieces of some other shit...but that's basically it. I don't really remember the other stuff well enough to describe or review...so yeah. If you have any experiences of your own with vendors or works, feel free to post them or, if you have any in the future, go ahead. The goal is to make this thread pimp by the 4th so that we can raid the fuckers the following week for the good shit.