I'll start at the beginning.
It was my Junior year of highschool, and I was full on in my drama phase. The second day of class a new girl from Arizona was introduced. Her name was Nicole. No, it wasn't love at first sight. Infact I didn't think very much of her at all. She wasn't ridiculously hot or anything.
Time passed, we were in a few shows together and began to bond. Infact a core group in that drama class began to bond and become friends. Skip forward to the summer after our senior year. Nicole and two other girls were putting on a small show over the summer, material that they had written and were going to direct and act in themselves. They asked me to play the male parts in the short scenes. One final show over the summer and then everyone would be on their way to college. At the time however, I was with someone else. Carrie. She was a nice girl, and I really did like her. But it wasn't like with Nicole. I dont know if any of you guys have ever had a real connection with someone else before, but it's pretty powerful. I was just to much of a pussy to change the situation I was in and do something about it. The worst part was in one of the scenes with Nicole we shared a brief kiss, which we rehearsed quite a bit. It was torture. Some may call it puppy love, but I strongly believe that sometimes feelings are more pure when you're younger. You're less jaded. Anyway...
I never made a move. Everyone went their seperate ways after summer and that was it. I tried to stay in contact with Nicole at first, but somewhere down the line I lost her. She must have moved or something, changed addresses. She was gone. I tried from time to time to track her down but I had no luck. Every few months I was having dreams about her. Not necessarily sex dreams or whatever, just dreams that she was in. I guess she was just constantly on my mind. Nearly five years later I still dream about her from time to time. I know I have noone to blame but myself, and I'm sure some people think that there was probably nothing ever there to begin with. But there was. And I think she knew it too.
Last night, intoxicated and talking to Orgamo on IMs I decided to share the tale I just told with him. He seemed deeply moved but my sincerity. He then mentioned that he was really good, almost professional stalker good at tracking people down on the internet. I had had no luck, but it was hope. Not more then 10 minutes later he IMs saying "Are you ready for this?" and provides a link.
It was her.
The initial feeling of feeling like a jack ass for not being able to find her while he did it so easily passed quickly as the shock and excitement hit. Five years I've spent thinking about this one girl who got away, and suddenly at 2 in the morning, just like that, I had her e-mail address.
I wrote her a letter. Nothing to overbearing, but it was pretty long. I was nervous as all hell, and once I sent it off all I could do is wait. The hours felt like years.
Today I got a response. It was her. I was relieved and nearly giddy to see she was just as excited to be writing me as I was to be writing her. She wrote me a long letter, and I could feel the connection coming back even through writing.
I dont know where I go from here. She lives in LA, about 10 hours from where I live. All I know is I cant let her get away again, not until I have closure. I'm not one to believe in fate or destiny, but if it does exist then this has to be it.
I would like to hear the advice of my fellow nubblites in my time of great need.
I will be updating this thread regularly for those who care so you can keep up with my progress.
To Orgazmo...It's funny how shit works out. I dont know why I decided to tell you about all this the other night, but I'm happy I did now. Thank you.
[ April 18, 2005, 02:06 AM: Message edited by: Repugnant Abomination ]
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