Thread: Dumbasses
View Single Post
Unread 01-21-2003, 11:19 PM   #28 (permalink)
Orgazmo
Guest
 

Posts: n/a
Post

Let's go ahead and revive the Dumbass of the Day thread. Today's Dumbass...

Tittybars

This dumbass comes straight out of June 2002. Within my summer school class (which was shared with Trout Sniffer and perhaps some others), there existed a dumbass that we'll call Tittybars. Tittybars was a hillbilly type of guy that seemed to exist for one purpose: to be a dumbass. You see, Tittybars lied to make friends. He exaggerated to the point of absurdity, doing anything in his power to gain attention to himself. Along with this, he was a dumbass.

One day, as Seņor Groff stood in the front of the room, a question was proposed to the class as a whole. "Can anyone think of types of discrimination that are around in present day?" he questioned aloud. Somebody raised a hand and proposed that the unfair stereotyping of teenagers was a fair example. All agreed. Another, with hands a'blazin, suggested that racism was still about in these parts. Again, many agreed to a certain point. It was at this point in time that Tittybars raised his hand. With the class running short and time going on empty, Groff called on him. It was at this time that Tittybars proclaimed a'loud, "Well...uhh, ya know how they have those clubs? Well, I'm not 18 and stuff...so, uhh...I can't get into dem tittybars." Many looked back at the moron wondering whether he was being serious or not but, alas, he was. Not a smile was cracked. Not a chuckle was given. Tittybars meant business.

This single example would probably be enough to land him in this category at the point in time at which it occurred...but, for me to grace the Dumbass of the Day with the name of Tittybars 6 months after his showings, he clearly did not stop his dumbassedness after one incident. Just days after the original sighting, Tittybars struck again. Whilst discussing the economics of vehicle purchasing, Groff suggested that the amount of gas that an automobile consumes should be taken seriously whilst making a decision. To prove his point, he figured out how much a fantasy car with a random amount of miles/yr would cost whilst paying an average amount for gas. After this was finished, Groff questioned the class to see how much they drove each year in an attempt to figure out how much a single student potentially spent each year in gas. One student claimed that they drove 3,000 miles in the past year. Another say 2,500. Tittybars, with unrivaled excitement, offered his yearly totals. "One-Hundred Thousdand Miles," he proclaimed proudly. "Umm...hmmm...are you sure that you counted that right?" Mr. Groff queried. "Yes, I honestly drove One-Hundred Thousand miles last year...I keep track," Tittybars hurredly replied. Groff went on to explain that he lives in Huntington and drives to Warsaw each day for work. Along with this, he makes a yearly trip to northern Canada where he and his son(s) go fishing. Even with all of this, he drives just under 50,000 miles per year. Although this clearly showed that Tittybars was a liar, he stuck with his story...even telling others during the break that he was serious (loudly, of course, so all around could hear). He's a dumbass...a dumbass of the day.

Now, I've posted a dumbass of the day. This thread could be pimp shit (again) if, when you notice a COMPLETE moron in action, you report him/her in great detail. Do what you can.

[This message has been edited by Orgazmo (edited January 22, 2003).]
  Reply With Quote