Scenario: I am walking two kids home from a party we were at. A guy (I'm going with Tim, since I can't remember) and a girl. I was sober, they definitely were not. The girl had a thing for the guy but he did not feel the same way, even drunk. On my honor, this is how the conversation between them went.
Girl: Ok, so the night's still young, and I am really horny. You want to go to your place and make out?
Tim: No, I'm a good guy. I'm fucked up and you're fucked up and I just don't think that's a good idea.
Girl: Oh, come on, you want a piece!
Tim: Hey, I am going to go check what Doug is going to do now. Just wait here. (Doug was another guy that had been walking with us but had split off)
5 minutes later
Me: I don't think he's coming back.
Girl: Oh, why not? What a fucker!
Me: I don't think he wanted to make out with you.
(Pause)
Me: Allright, well, I'm not going to let a drunk girl walk home alone. What's your name, kiddo?
Girl: My name is.....(long pause) Julie.
Me: Honest?
Julie: Yeah, I think so.
Me: Julie, where do you live at?
Julie: Don't end a sentence with a preposition!
Me: What?
Julie: Don't end your sentence with a preposition!
Me: Screw you! Don't tell me how to talk, you can't even walk a straight line!
(long pause)
Me: Forget it. Where do you live?
Julie: Tim is so on my shit list.
Me: (under my breath) How unfortunate for him.
(Finally leading to my quote of the day)
Julie: I know he wanted a piece, and I so was going to give it to him.
|