This just in..........
Reporter Malice here on the sceene at 22 Holy Crack Rd. in the Boonville trailer park where Lady Jane (the local crack whore) found herself in the middle of a gun fight between her ex and her ex. It started as a verbal dispute and turned into a blaze of shotgun bullets, leaving two dead and one injured.
Around 7:30am Sunday morning Miss Lady Jane was still up from a long night of sucking random cocks and smoking crack when her ex decided to stop by to try and rekindle the flame that once burned(when I say ex I mean ex customer and when I use the term rekindle the flame that once burned I am referring to ghonerea). Lady Jane tried to explain to him that she is a crack whore and she only slept with him for the $5.00 fee but he did not want to hear that. He claimed she told him she loved him while having unprotected anal sex three saturdays ago. Before they could get any further in the conversation there was a knock at the sheet of plywood Lady Jane calls a door.
BANG, BANG, BANG,...."Lady Jane"........"I know your in there Lady Jane"...........Lady Jane tells Ex #1 to hide in the closet while she answers the door and he does. Lady Jane carefully walks down the narrow trailer hall way trying to avoid the other cracked out whores sleeping on the kitchen floor. She gets to the sheet of plywood and spins the 2 X 4 that is holding it upright. Standing there is Wallace (Ex #2) with a Natural Ice in one hand and a gag of dandilions in the other. "I love you so much Miss Lady Jane, I want to marry you". Lady Jane replies "Wallace your high and naked and you have a shootgun, what the fuck?". Ex #2 responds with "but I love you". Lady Jane looks Wallace dead in his eyes and says "Get the fuck out of here you crazy, little dick having, pig fucking...." and Before she could say another word BANG, the whore was dead. Ex #1 comes running out of the closet screaming like a little asian bitch getting gang banged by 2 horse cocks. Ex #2 turns the shotgun in his direction and fires another shot. This one was worse than the first shot because he did not kill Ex #1, he just blew his dick off (I dont know about you all but I'd rather be dead than have my dick blown off). Ex #2 then ran into the kitchen (only 3 steps away) and turns the gun on one of the crack whores (crack whore #2) not knowing the other crack whore (crack whore #1) had ran into the bathroom and grabbed the 12 gauge Lady Jane kept in there. He say's to Crack whore #2 "your gonna marry me Whore" but before she could respond BANG, Ex #2 gets a handfull of shotgun pelets in the chest.
The police department then arrived at the scene, or should I say Officer Wellington arrived and made a statement to the trailer people, "What we have here ladies and gentlemen is an open and close case". He pulled the Natural Ice out of Ex #2's hand and took a sip "The dumb whore should have never opened the door, so this case is closed." He then went inside the trailer and closed the plywood door.
Well its Sunday afternoon and I'm late for happy hour (which starts at 8:00am). So once again this has been another addition of the Boonville News. See ya next time, now fuck off or just go fuck yourself, either which way I dont give a fuck!
|