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Combat Chuck · 11-26-2002, 07:30 PM

That joke is a classic. I've used it many a time.

Step aside brothers, it's time for another lesson in the wonderful world of comics.

Alright, let's give the lowdown on the superheroes first.

Hulk- Dr. Bruce Banner is a scientist (not a mad scientist, just a scientist) that was one of the original makers of the gamma bomb. But when he tries to save a stupid highschooler from getting hit by the blast, he himself gets hit by the blast, and is given strange powers. They consist of him getting pissed off and turning into a huge green behemoth that has indestructible skin, unlimited strength and is pretty much invulnerable.

Superman- Mild mannered Clark Kent is really Superman, an alien from a distant planet Krypton.

Now, here's something that you guys don't know. Kryptonite is not the only substance that can defeat Superman. A red sun saps all of Superman's powers. Why?

Krypton was from a galaxy where they had a red sun (actually, I think there was more than one, I'm not sure) and when Supes was transported to the Earth, the yellow sun rays affected his molecular structure, giving him superspeed, flight, superstrength, laser eyes, see-through vision and so on and so forth. Basically, there isn't a power that Supes doesn't have.

But that's not all. Superman is also susceptible to magic. That's why in Kingdom Come (one of the best non-continuity DC stories EVER...) has Captain Marvel (a kid bestowed with the power of a god, which is magic based) beating the shit out of Superman, because he has magic based powers.

So, here's the thing.

These two can pummel each other forever, and still be able to keep on fighting. Hulk has had an actual mountain dropped on him and survived. Supes has moved the moon by himself (actually, before DC killed the early continuity, he moved the Earth all the time, and could time travel).

The thing is, when Bruce Banner is the Hulk, he really isn't the smartest thing. He goes on rampages. However, there are different personalities of the Hulk. There's a smart Hulk, the dumb Hulk, a gangster Hulk (yeah, it is stupid) and a monster Hulk that is the final stage of Bruce Banner's transformation....meaning, if he changes into the monster Hulk, he can never change back to Bruce Banner.

I really think that the only thing that Superman could do to defeat the Hulk would be to throw him to the ends of outer space. You just can't get rid of the Hulk.

However, if the Hulk were in his smart persona, he could maybe go to someone that knew Superman's powers....and go get Thor.

Thor is pretty much the only character in both the DC and Marvel Universe who is unbeatable. Really, the guy could whoop Superman's ass in his sleep. Just cause he's magic based.

It's all a hypothetical battle. They are both invulnerable to each other (without anyone else's help), so there really isn't an outcome to this battle.

But I say that Superman wins. He'd find a way to contain the Hulk. It'd take a while, but it'd happen sometime.

11-26-2002, 07:30 PM	#16 (permalink)
Combat Chuck Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 2,063 Internets: 10	That joke is a classic. I've used it many a time. Step aside brothers, it's time for another lesson in the wonderful world of comics. Alright, let's give the lowdown on the superheroes first. Hulk- Dr. Bruce Banner is a scientist (not a mad scientist, just a scientist) that was one of the original makers of the gamma bomb. But when he tries to save a stupid highschooler from getting hit by the blast, he himself gets hit by the blast, and is given strange powers. They consist of him getting pissed off and turning into a huge green behemoth that has indestructible skin, unlimited strength and is pretty much invulnerable. Superman- Mild mannered Clark Kent is really Superman, an alien from a distant planet Krypton. Now, here's something that you guys don't know. Kryptonite is not the only substance that can defeat Superman. A red sun saps all of Superman's powers. Why? Krypton was from a galaxy where they had a red sun (actually, I think there was more than one, I'm not sure) and when Supes was transported to the Earth, the yellow sun rays affected his molecular structure, giving him superspeed, flight, superstrength, laser eyes, see-through vision and so on and so forth. Basically, there isn't a power that Supes doesn't have. But that's not all. Superman is also susceptible to magic. That's why in Kingdom Come (one of the best non-continuity DC stories EVER...) has Captain Marvel (a kid bestowed with the power of a god, which is magic based) beating the shit out of Superman, because he has magic based powers. So, here's the thing. These two can pummel each other forever, and still be able to keep on fighting. Hulk has had an actual mountain dropped on him and survived. Supes has moved the moon by himself (actually, before DC killed the early continuity, he moved the Earth all the time, and could time travel). The thing is, when Bruce Banner is the Hulk, he really isn't the smartest thing. He goes on rampages. However, there are different personalities of the Hulk. There's a smart Hulk, the dumb Hulk, a gangster Hulk (yeah, it is stupid) and a monster Hulk that is the final stage of Bruce Banner's transformation....meaning, if he changes into the monster Hulk, he can never change back to Bruce Banner. I really think that the only thing that Superman could do to defeat the Hulk would be to throw him to the ends of outer space. You just can't get rid of the Hulk. However, if the Hulk were in his smart persona, he could maybe go to someone that knew Superman's powers....and go get Thor. Thor is pretty much the only character in both the DC and Marvel Universe who is unbeatable. Really, the guy could whoop Superman's ass in his sleep. Just cause he's magic based. It's all a hypothetical battle. They are both invulnerable to each other (without anyone else's help), so there really isn't an outcome to this battle. But I say that Superman wins. He'd find a way to contain the Hulk. It'd take a while, but it'd happen sometime.