Thread: WWOD?
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Unread 04-13-2003, 11:24 PM   #80 (permalink)
Orgazmo
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Orgazmo could really do a number of different things in the said situation...but, because he's a crafty bastard and likes to be efficient, he'd shape the circumstances into a single stone that could kill two birds.

You see, because of his skill in killing stuff, Orgazmo has yet to lose his non-dominant hand, the hand that most pirates have lost and replaced with a hook. Of course, simply cutting the hand off for no reason a'tall is unacceptable...so, in order to get the hook on the hand...and to get the bears off of his ass, Orgazmo would use the pocket knife to sever his left hand while running from the bears. After cutting it completely off, Orgazmo would bite a finger on the left hand to hold the piece in his mouth. He's take the knife in his right hand, turn quickly, and fire the blade at the bear leading the 5. The knife would go straight into his eye, dropping him immediately and tripping up the other bears. With all 5 bears spread out on the ground (and one really pissed and biting the other 4 because he can't see out of one eye), Orgazmo would toss the left hand into the rumble. The addition of fresh meat would cause a rucus that would send all 5 bears into a huge fight for the right to consume the hand. While they fought, Orgazmo would simply walk away like nothing happened.

Upon his return to his ship, Orgazmo would replace his stump with a pimped out Hook. After this, he'd go back into the woods, find the single bear that killed the other 4 for the hand, and decapitate it with his newly renovated appendage. The head of the bear would be mounted to the front of his ship and used to scare away pussy ninjas.
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