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Pliedes · 02-18-2005, 05:20 PM

This morning I was sitting in my comfy ruby-orange armchair and thinking about how I needed to build a shelf. The shelf I had in mind though was to hold my guitar picks so they'd always be in easy reach. It would be small in size, but functional as hell. So being the industrious fellow I am, I set my mind to creating this shelf of not so large proportions.
Sitting in my chair, I already had a piece of cardboard in reach to the right rear. Now having the cardboard in hand, I needed something to cut it with. Herein lies the nature of my post.

Now when I'm sitting in my chair, I never want to get up, it's just that comfortable. And when my thoughts turned to method which would be the most effective way of cutting the cardboard into appropriately sized pieces. So my options were immediately constrained to cutting utensils in the near vicinity of the designated sitting area (yes, i have a sitting area, fuck you).

I didn't have to look far at all. In fact, I didn't even have to look. I already had a pair of sissors in plain sight on the shelf to my left, but at this point I had already resolved to find all cuttery I could get my hands on (without getting out of my chair, of course). I was in an increasing state of disbelief as I began finding cutting utensils all around me. I've never really noticed it until now, but I have a ridiculus amount of this kind of shit within an arm's reach.
As I began to gather the objects to produce photographic evidence of the cuttery, I began to find things I forgot I even had. Why wasn't this obvious to me before? Jesus christ, I even found a butter knife with a fucking gold plated handle. I mean, it's not gonna be slitting throats anytime soon, but who the hell has a gold plated butter knife in their room?

Now do me a favor real quick. You're probably in the same situation I am; sitting in your room at your computer. Now look around the area, see how many cutting objects you find. (I know that Orgazmo most likely has a few oversized knives at hand.)

How many?

One?

Two?

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

Fifteen?

...and I didn't even have to get out of my chair.

Now I have perfectly valid reasons for possessing each and every one of these objects, I'm just surprised I had them all in immediate reach. Doesn't it seem a little bit ridculus? Now I am fond of building things, and I do like to cook, but it could just be that I have an obsession with knives, sissors and the like. Hell, I'm even dating a girl with a pair of sissors tattooed on her side. Maybe they have support groups for this kind of thing. Oh well, at least I'll never be at a loss when I need to cut a piece of cardboard.

[...and the shelf which made my epiphany possible.]

[labeled]

[ February 18, 2005, 02:44 PM: Message edited by: Pliedes ]

02-18-2005, 05:20 PM	#1 (permalink)
Pliedes Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Puget Sound Posts: 4,594 Internets: 1608	This morning I was sitting in my comfy ruby-orange armchair and thinking about how I needed to build a shelf. The shelf I had in mind though was to hold my guitar picks so they'd always be in easy reach. It would be small in size, but functional as hell. So being the industrious fellow I am, I set my mind to creating this shelf of not so large proportions. Sitting in my chair, I already had a piece of cardboard in reach to the right rear. Now having the cardboard in hand, I needed something to cut it with. Herein lies the nature of my post. Now when I'm sitting in my chair, I never want to get up, it's just that comfortable. And when my thoughts turned to method which would be the most effective way of cutting the cardboard into appropriately sized pieces. So my options were immediately constrained to cutting utensils in the near vicinity of the designated sitting area (yes, i have a sitting area, fuck you). I didn't have to look far at all. In fact, I didn't even have to look. I already had a pair of sissors in plain sight on the shelf to my left, but at this point I had already resolved to find all cuttery I could get my hands on (without getting out of my chair, of course). I was in an increasing state of disbelief as I began finding cutting utensils all around me. I've never really noticed it until now, but I have a ridiculus amount of this kind of shit within an arm's reach. As I began to gather the objects to produce photographic evidence of the cuttery, I began to find things I forgot I even had. Why wasn't this obvious to me before? Jesus christ, I even found a butter knife with a fucking gold plated handle. I mean, it's not gonna be slitting throats anytime soon, but who the hell has a gold plated butter knife in their room? Now do me a favor real quick. You're probably in the same situation I am; sitting in your room at your computer. Now look around the area, see how many cutting objects you find. (I know that Orgazmo most likely has a few oversized knives at hand.) How many? One? Two? - - - - - - - Fifteen? ...and I didn't even have to get out of my chair. Now I have perfectly valid reasons for possessing each and every one of these objects, I'm just surprised I had them all in immediate reach. Doesn't it seem a little bit ridculus? Now I am fond of building things, and I do like to cook, but it could just be that I have an obsession with knives, sissors and the like. Hell, I'm even dating a girl with a pair of sissors tattooed on her side. Maybe they have support groups for this kind of thing. Oh well, at least I'll never be at a loss when I need to cut a piece of cardboard. [...and the shelf which made my epiphany possible.] [labeled] [ February 18, 2005, 02:44 PM: Message edited by: Pliedes ]