I would make sounds like I'm masturbating, carefully pick up the brown baby, wrap it in toilet paper, throw it in my bag, and head to class. This way, the other people in the bathroom just think that you were rubbin one out real quick instead of shitting, the lack of flush and no floaters in the bowl equals no possible shit... they'll either think that you have horrible gas or the smell was created prior to your entry, either way no one will accuse you of normal human functions.
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