Chan, I must say, because of the everpresent positive inquiries in your writing and unique rhyming style, I have always been reminded of you whence listening to 311, it's nuts.
Quote:
Originally posted by Percipere'Chan:
And I showed all my courage, my faith and my might,
To overcome a social pressured dilemma that paralyzed me with fright.
I looked up through the sky for aid in my quest,
I put my heart to an answer and got what was best.
A talk with the old soul, the man who knows faith,
And in us I put mine to feel a way out of this place.
And out we came, not I but, us both.
Me, one step closer to finding my betrothed.
Yet, the forceful one, I have seen he has bounds.
And if I lack in awareness of this thing styled ‘contention’,
I win and they win like a divine intervention.
And I love them all, and the story continues with good ending,
And my heart, yeas our hearts, have done a fair bit of mending.
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This whole section was great and completely reminded me of Dr. Seuss. I'm really feeling this idea, "A talk with the old soul, the man who knows faith, And in us I put mine to feel a way out of this place. And out we came, not I but, us both." Having faith in the human race as a whole is something I've been juggling for a long time now. I recently wrote a not-as-well-orchestrated set of meanderings about such.
Quote:
Originally posted by Percipere'Chan:
I listened to you once, I heard all your lies,
Was talked at and spoke at, heard all your social ties.
I grow angry at your pointless speeding pursuit of chasing tails and letter bomb mails.
There is so much more available for discussion, why not try something involving real passion?
Why is this so beyond your vision?
Why do you hate so much?
Why not calm your mission?
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Key issues here man. I think your merging of something like an old saying in "chasing tails" and more blunt realistic example in "letter bomb mails" nails (heheh) the point. It's good to mix atmospheres like that. Because you get totally different vibes from being vague and being specific I think.
Quote:
Originally posted by Percipere'Chan:
So in this pseudo-sanctuary of family and home I rot down with my inkless pen all that I believe need be known.
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This is one powerfully-packed line here. A paramount declaraction proving a paramount declaration.
I really think you've done a good job capturing the importance that you're trying to convey. For me it's because of the somewhat desperate, but resolved tension, and then the consequent "peace and serenity" that prevails really gives me the sense of a realistic ongoing accumulation of will.
Yep. I'll get something new on the board here in a few... but I don't want to introduce the next stuff until people have had a chance to read the former.
[ December 09, 2003, 01:38 AM: Message edited by: Titan ]