Damn. I was hoping that we'd have more brave souls. Well, fuck. I'm not gonna let this good idea go to waste.
Titan. This is BadAss.
pillow, soft and delicate,
where my head rests post predicate.
[I love the phrase post predicate, it conjours up images of a distant and nearly forgot turmoil.]
comfort zone. not to be alone.
disturbing thoughts arise, only at night.
but the scent of you is all I need
to calm me down and settle me.
[1. you know the aid-mend you seek for your troubles]
my eyes go numb. you see me through
[2. you've nourished your aid-mend and spawned a linked maturity]
the winter weaks and what will become.
when my pillow sleeps so do I,
swiftly forcing my nightmares to die.
train me so, I go solo,
calling this and that place home.
if you only fit inside this sheet,
[as though, the person is so happy, so utterly content that, if you could just capture that feeling in a song, maybe everyone would understand]
to wash away my fears, rinse and repeat,
[throwing in rinse and repeat not only adds a kick of humor but really gives the writing another dimension. the reader goes through the action with you and takes on the mind frame of the action itself. I found myself, not before, but after rinsing and repeating, wondering what it is that I do to wash away my fears. then I wondered what it is that you do to do the same. that was an amazing three hit combo: rinse and repeat.]
my phobic days, their death would meet.
I just found your hair at my feet.
[this is a real display of maturity. there's a deep understanding of the individual and the relationship here. what two are together and what each is on their own.]
This was an amazing writing. I wasn't sure if you meant that the lyrics had the music or that the music hasn't been made up for the lyrics yet, but if it is floating around somewhere I'd love to take a listen.
That kicked ass.
Back in a bit after I've dredged something up from the archives...
[ December 14, 2003, 09:37 PM: Message edited by: Percipere'Chan ]
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