some things from recently...
My Brand New Path
[03.??.04]
Stealing minutes in this world
I am lying to myself
Fading thinner is my patience
To come back home
Shattered pieces have fallen to the floor
Mixing with the scattered papers
Paper once for expressing dreams
Only needed now to hold my pain
Nothing's left to give
I've given it all away
The one who has it
Has gone so far away
A lonely ghost I am, wandering
Through the mist by candlelight
An empty vessel I am sinking
Into the bowels of Hell tonight
Metal kiss the skin
- - -
Haze in Clouds on Your Night
[03.06.04]
whispers of me surround you
lie me down
my breath can be felt on you
feel the warmth of my mold
find me the truest and the pure
search with your life
empty the churches and the temples
search for salvation's light
you stand on this with no inclination
you stand there looking to put my away without hesitation
i am the one that follows you in your shadow
i am the creature you have been hiding from late in the night
i am the darkness of your heart
eating you alive
eating your eyes so you cannot see right
draining your compassion so they will hate you...
so you will hate you
i am the creature you will sleep with forever
i am the one who took your life
---
I just liked this one's title...
Suicide Notes and Daisy's Petals
[02.26.04]
Today I will kiss the barrel of my idignation's end. To feel the cold of the metal on my lips will calm my spinning head a little more. Or, just maybe; my wrists will become warm their own tears pouring out of slits of darkness. But will you see in time, in time to care. Would you even care? Maybe if I made myself like an ornament, hanging from high above. Would that be any better? Make you see? If I am out of the circle then you don't have to break stride to avoid me. You won't have me in the backroom in a dusty box in your mind anymore. There really is no chance of things being how they once were. I can see it in your eyes. I said I couldn't read you anymore, I have to admit I lied a little. I can see you lie to me, keeping me on that string. Why? I don't know and you won't tell me, but just maybe if I used the string to caress my neck you will wish you told me then. You will wish that just maybe you came a little closer a little sooner. Or you threw me away for good instead of holding on just enough to steal my life. This is not your fault, I am my own fault. I just wish that I could make you be you again, you a year earlier. Me a year earlier. But I am going back to the me you once knew, the me you saved me from. Don't you see what you are and can be? Maybe you do and you don't want that. Just tell me if that is how you feel. Because I am afraid that one of the above I shall soon feel if I can't find a way to get out of this cold. I will hold a daisy for you to have, white, like the true beauty of you. And at my feet will be a picture, now torn, but once together, showing us; how we once were and I wish to be again...
I can't let something as beautiful as you be tarnished by something like me. Wither away, I am withering away, but it feels like I just can't get away from you. You are the master of my thoughts. I can't go on like this much longer. I wish you would see, see just how much you really mean. It will be like before, it will be better than before. Just one more try...
Or just one more dies.
...but have no fear. I am not dead, see.
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