Wow, Blonde, although that post was extremely long and you said mine was too long to read, I couldn't resist reading through it just to see what you had to say. Surprisingly, I agreed with a lot that you said. I also understand completely where you are coming from.
There's basically two kinds of people, those who are relationship-oriented, and those who are results-oriented. Those who are relationship-oriented base the majority of their being on how they interact with other people, (i.e. people that hate to be alone) making these people very vulnerable to getting hurt in relationships and wasting a lot of time on "love" or what they think to be love.
Those who are results-oriented base their focus on the outcomes they desire (i.e. those who work best alone). This lifestyle has its downfalls as well leading people to sacrifice a lot of friendships and relationships along their life's path.
Obviously, you tend to lean towards being results-oriented. You would rather be alone so that you can achieve the things you desire in your life than stick with the same people all throughout your life. You most likely fit in easily most places you go because your impression on other people is not the most important thing on your mind. I, on the other hand, seem to be more relationship-oriented, and don't think that means "I have to have a boyfriend or I'll go psycho bitch and kill someone." No, that just means that I have a tendency to worry about those close to me more than I do myself. I worry so much about how my relations with other people will be affected, that it sometimes deprives me of my own happiness.
See, I never claim to be perfect, I never try to piss people off, I just find people to be very interesting. I love talking to new people and making small talk because I enjoy the company I gain. I completely respect your views, because I used to be the same way. I hated being in relationships until every one of my friends got into relationships and got too busy to hang out with me. I guess I felt kind of left out. Now, it's like I know no other way of life and I'm stuck in a rut. I'm so used to having someone around 24/7, that I find it hard to be by myself at all. The saddest part is, I'm ashamed that I have become this way, but I've lost all my other instincts over the last 2 years. What do you do because I sure as hell have no idea how to make myself independent of other people.
Edit: Oh and Magiclit, thanks I think? not sure what sickmade means but I know Tech N9ne is pretty fucking awesome, so I'm guessing that's what you meant, lol if not, just call me a dumbshit and tell me to go to hell.
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