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Unread 06-03-2008, 07:52 PM   #1 (permalink)
THEINCREDIBLEdork
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Default How to makeover your ass

Quarterly, I remove my ass hair and take care of odds and ends below the waist. I know many completely shave their nether-regions, but I find this distasteful because I like to maintain a strong, healthy mane which make women faint in awe when they set their eyes upon it. However, in the crack, I practice complete deforestation.

Pros:

* Assurance no fecal matter is hanging from your curlies after you wipe after a shit.
* Fresh, free feeling
* Reduced S.W.A.C. and odor
* A sleek look, much like a new Porsche

Cons:

* It may hurt to fart for about 24 hours

Neutral/Relative:

* Farts are much louder, more "flappy," and less muffled

Preperation:

You will need 3 tools: a small towel, a non-comedogenic lotion (like cetaphil), and Nair.



Apply a thick, even layer of Nair to cover the hair from the midsection of your chode to the tip of your crack. Care not to apply on your asshole or it will sting, if you accidently do, just suck it up. I mean deal with the pain, not literally try to suck it up your corn hole. Limit moving or walking around. After 5 minutes, gently wipe off Nair and hair in one firm motion with your damp towel. Hop into the shower and rinse the rest of the loose hair and Nair off. It is easier to do this in a bath. After you are done washing, dry your ass. Now apply the lotion liberally to the entire asscrack area, including your butthole. This will ensure your skin won't be irritated, dry up, and crack along your asscrack, preventing several days of asspain.

If requested, I will post before & after pictures next quarter.

Good luck!

#YOLO
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