Frooties
Do not write off
Frooties. They're quite similar to the products being discussed.
One delicious bite of
Frooties will make you stop eating both Airheads and Laffy Taffy 4 lyfe.
It is a proven fact that
Frooties are the giant cock to Airheads/Laffy Taffy's loose vagina.
It is a proven fact that
Frooties are the suspicious step father to Airheads/Laffy Taffy's vulnerable step children.
The next time you want a chewy, fruity snack, reach for
Frooties.
It'll be the last fruit you ever chew.™