I retrieved my mail a short while ago to find 9 envelopes addressed to me from Secret Santa.
Each envelope contained a Christmas card featuring black people in the role of traditionally white figures.
Most of the cards contained a joke, but two of them contained something else.
I have a key to god knows what (handcuffs, maybe?) and one dollar bill I have been instructed to bet continuously on black until I lose (which makes one question why I don't just light the damn thing on fire instead).
Thanks, Santa! (I think)