Is war a sport, motherfucker?
And not the god damned card game.
How about trying to get a job? Is that a sport?
What about taking an Ambien and trying to beat off before you fall asleep?
According to your guidelines (except for the part where you refer to "sport" in the definition of "sport"), these are all sports. Obviously, though, they are not.
Except the Ambien thing. That one is definitely a sport.
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