So yesterday was the day of the great malt liquor tasting. A distinguished panel of AP and Hank Ernst were the only to brave enough for this feat. A few tidbits about this quest for knowledge.
Finding malt liquor is not as easy as I thought it would be. I was able to find a six pack of Mickey's at a local liquor store. However that was all they carried.
After inquiring with the clerk about if I was overlooking the product he informed that his location did not usually carry these types of beverages, but recommended the liquor store off the freeway where the pan handlers beg by the over pass. He was correct. I hit malt liquor pay dirt there.
They had cans
and 40 ounce bottles. I bought the bottles to insure authenticity.
I managed to find a "loosey" tall boy can of Colt .45 at a gas station and hence was our only canned entry. Seeing that the containers were of different sizes, it would make no sense to just place a brown paper bag around them to conceal the identity. So I headed over to Hank's with the goodies and then came up with the idea to put the malt liquor into cups and number the cups with a corresponding brand. No peeking on the bottom of the cups. However, Hank's neighbor, a short rotund mexican-indian looking woman, came over at that time and she agreed to participate. After we each had five cups of the corresponding malt liquor, each set of cups were scrambled so they would not be in order and to make the event semi "blind."
The Results and Conclusions.
It became clear early that the two white male tasters did not like malt liquors. They all kinda sucked. But the difference is that some of these in comparison were sweet tasting. Almost like that sickly sweet strawberry soda that the black man enjoys on occasion. It was dumb founding how sugary some of these tasted. My ranking pretty much went from less sweet to sweet. Hank's I think followed suit, but he was already drunk when I got there, so who really knows. The indomex's preferences where almost opposite to mine.
The Best Malt Liquor
1. Mickey's --it was unanimous
2. Colt .45 --second place for two people and fourth for the other.
3. Schlitz Malt Liquor -- Unanimous
4. Old English 800 --a 2nd, 4th, and 5th
5. Steel Reserve --a 4th and two 5ths.
And now the mystery is solved. However AP wasted a beautiful chance to celebrate MLK day. If only AP's curiosity had patience.