Since I was at the nubblies gathering when my gift arrived at my doorstep, I had to hope 24 hours in the cold wouldn't hurt it. It looks very compact.
What's this... a note?
It reads:
Dear, precious, little f3lix:
This is your Secret Santa. I desperately hope this package arrives in time to aid you in your marital plans. If, by some miracle, you aren't already married by the time this arrives, I would be truly amazed. Your gifts include everything you need to plan that perfect wedding you've always dreamed of (see book + hat). In case you have not yet found the waitress of your dreams, I have also included everything you need to get through tough times ahead (see bottle of forget juice, masturbation material, and a luxurious hand towel for cleanup).
Merry X-Mas, Asshole
Love, Santa
How nice.
Inside we have some very nice packaging.
Santa even stuffed a box with nothing in it, but only used to assist with stability!
I sure hope this is a huuuuuuge dildo.
Nope... but I can still use it as one.
Another novelty gift.
Now this is what I'm talkin about!
Comes with a DVD, too!
Each month has been
altered in some way.
I found the original retail price of $19.95 knocked down to $1. Nice grab, Santa!
Overall...
Good theming, sir!