[thekremlin]

BOSTON DIVISION:

"Once again, the sandwich-heavy portfolio pays off for the hungry investor!"

#3: Roast Beef from Bill and Bob's, Woburn
When I think back on high school parties, in addition to red solo cups, cops showing to bust up parties, and Kegs purchased from Buy-Rite, I think about breakfast, sometime around noon, at Bill and Bob's. This was the type of place that was probably actually owned by a guy named Bill and a guy named Bob, except they probably went by Billy and Bobby. They had a drive-through, but we always ate in. Instinct tells the hungry and hungover to go for the super-beef. It's not the right move. The optimal beef-to-toppings ratio is the smallest sandwich, the Jr. Beef, so it's better to go with two of those. The topping options are obscenely varied: BBQ Sauce, Hot Sauce, Horseradish, Cheese, Pickles, Onions, Mayo, Bacon, Lettuce, Tomato... Best to ask for the works, but hold the mayo, we're not savages. Fries on the side, or maybe a pizza puff, and lemonade to drink.

#6: The Pastrami King
For a lot of people, going to New York City is an exciting trip, a chance to see the sights, maybe catch a Mets or a Rangers game. For my sister and I, and let's be honest, our parents too, it was a four-hour drive just so spend an even-more-boring weekend in an apartment in Queens, or a suburb in Long Island, or in temple, since there was usually a wedding or Bar Mitzvah or High Holiday involved. The concession, though, and I've long suspected the only reason my dad even agreed to make the trip, was a stop at the Original Pastrami King on the way home. Everyone talks about Katz's, Zagat's, but we until ownership changed, Pastrami King was the place. To order, it was either Pastrami or Corn Beef, on an onion roll or rye, and then the sides. Kniches, Matzoh Ball Soup, Deli Salads.... oh, the deli salads. To drink, they had a full range of Dr. Brown's Soda. These days, his Cherry Soda and Cream Soda are commonplace, but my dreams are filled with green cans of Dr. Brown's Cel-Ray. I have since contacted A&W, who owns Dr. Brown's, and they told me Cel-Ray has been discontinued. It's the way of the world: one day, we stopped by Pastrami King to find the decor had all been updated. It was under new management. Cautiously, we ordered, and the food was not the same. Everything changes, rarely for the better.

WINNER: Sweet Jesus, this was hard. Things in life shouldn't be this hard. But PASTRAMI KING gets the narrow win. Both places have sandwiches that can't be beat, but the Deli Sides beat out fries and pizza puffs, and just thinking about Cel-Ray put me in a deep pit of nostalgia. Throw in the fact that old-school delis like Pastrami King are disappearing one by one, and this becomes a feel-good victory.