Silly bitches. - Nubblies.net Forums

Orgazmo · 03-18-2005, 12:25 AM

This should spur some nice chat.

Source

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look
by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in
the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We
went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was
one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because
she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she
was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and
not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

tonguegina · 03-18-2005, 12:31 AM

Hahaha...that's fucking brilliant. Kudos to that man.

Saint DH · 03-18-2005, 12:36 AM

That man is my hero.

f3lix · 03-18-2005, 12:37 AM

gorgeous

Mr. Blonde · 03-18-2005, 12:46 AM

thats hilarious.

underwater · 03-18-2005, 02:58 AM

That is fabulous. I'd be pissed if I was the girl, but then again I don't really act like that so I guess I don't have to worry about it.

hello mr. man · 03-18-2005, 05:27 PM

the most brillant thing i have ever heard of. WOW!! I'm speechless...

MAGICLIT · 03-18-2005, 06:31 PM

I liked the fact that he took off work just for a well deserved payback, ingenious precalculation tactic.

Niger Angelus · 03-18-2005, 07:54 PM

That was the coolest think ever. I think I am going to to something like that tonight.

f3lix · 03-18-2005, 08:31 PM

I'm a bit dissappointed he didn't know what a "tennis bracelet" is.

Orgazmo · 03-18-2005, 08:39 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by f3lix:
I'm a bit dissappointed he didn't know what a "tennis bracelet" is.

I thought that part was a joke. I'd think that any person smart enough to come up with this plan on genius would know what a tennis bracelet is.

Ugly Bastard · 03-18-2005, 09:44 PM

That's hilarious.

-Ugly Bastard

03-18-2005, 12:46 AM	#5 (permalink)
Mr. Blonde Spice Master Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 17,969 Internets: 284106	thats hilarious.
	Psychedelics are illegal not because a loving government is concerned that you may jump out of a third story window. Psychedelics are illegal because they dissolve opinion structures and culturally laid down models of behavior and information processing. ― Terence McKenna

03-18-2005, 02:58 AM	#6 (permalink)
underwater Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: indiana Posts: 1,453 Internets: 10	That is fabulous. I'd be pissed if I was the girl, but then again I don't really act like that so I guess I don't have to worry about it.
	We can dance if we want to, we can leave your friends behind, because your friends don't dance and if they don't dance then they're no friends of mine.

03-18-2005, 06:31 PM	#8 (permalink)
MAGICLIT Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: city of sin Posts: 2,753 Internets: 10	I liked the fact that he took off work just for a well deserved payback, ingenious precalculation tactic.
	I am all in favor of a ruling class, especially since I rule.

03-18-2005, 07:54 PM	#9 (permalink)
Niger Angelus We still believe. Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Indiana Posts: 4,697 Internets: 216	That was the coolest think ever. I think I am going to to something like that tonight.
	I enjoy knives and fire.

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03-18-2005, 12:25 AM	#1 (permalink)
Orgazmo COME ON YOU YANKS Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Indiana Posts: 15,733 Internets: 311447	This should spur some nice chat. Source I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?" I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

03-18-2005, 12:31 AM	#2 (permalink)
tonguegina I like dirt. Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Indianapolis Posts: 2,861 Internets: 2790	Hahaha...that's fucking brilliant. Kudos to that man.

03-18-2005, 12:36 AM	#3 (permalink)
Saint DH Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 6,150 Internets: 284753	That man is my hero.

03-18-2005, 12:37 AM	#4 (permalink)
f3lix Gangnam Style Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: DH's Massage Parlor Posts: 6,383 Internets: 213510	gorgeous

03-18-2005, 05:27 PM	#7 (permalink)
hello mr. man Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: somewhere around here Posts: 30 Internets: 10	the most brillant thing i have ever heard of. WOW!! I'm speechless...

03-18-2005, 08:31 PM	#10 (permalink)
f3lix Gangnam Style Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: DH's Massage Parlor Posts: 6,383 Internets: 213510	I'm a bit dissappointed he didn't know what a "tennis bracelet" is.

03-18-2005, 09:44 PM	#12 (permalink)
Ugly Bastard Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: U.S.A. Posts: 13,643 Internets: 247330	That's hilarious. -Ugly Bastard